Weight at which you most strongly identify? Or feeling disassociated w/ that concept? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

xty · 10-05-2011, 03:32 PM

When both reading the forums and in discussions with friends, they seem to have some weight at which they mentally see at themselves with some sort of consistency through their lives, despite their current weight. At weight at which they identify.

For people that were a "normal weight" and gained weight, they often see themselves as that normal weight and 'feel fat' above it.

Ive never felt that way though. For me, I feel some how separated mentally from how I look in some ways. I largely feel disassociated with my weight.

I had an odd thought recently, which was that at no weight between 121 and 250lbs have I ever felt like "yes this is THE weight I feel like me at". I feel best at a certain weight for sure, but I think Im realizing some body dysmorphic issues of some sort. I can still see that 120 looks different than 130 and that I feel thin or strong, and those things feel like me. But I guess the big picture of how I look based on what I weigh has never felt like me.

Wondered if anyone else is like me, would love to hear from folks with thoughts on this!

k8yk · 10-05-2011, 05:31 PM

Quite frankly, there was a point in my life where I always "felt fat" no matter what weight I was.
There was another point in my life where I didn't "feel fat" even though I was close to 300 pounds.

Today I generally feel very much at ease with my body. And I have felt that way since about 200 lb. It doesn't really have much to do with my actual physical size. It's a state of mind. I am not defined by my weight. I am me, no matter what size I am. Is it more fun to shop for clothes as a size 6 or 8 than a size 22 or 24? you bet! And I'm absolutely thrilled with my physical fitness. But I am "me" either way.

There was a weight where I looked in the mirror and clearly remember thinking "If I never lose another pound, I will be absolutely fine with that." It was 167. And that's when I stopped actively trying to lose weight. I have lost a few more pounds because I continue to exercise and eat well, but it's just the icing on the cake at this point.

sisypheanme · 10-05-2011, 09:58 PM

Very good topic. I am not sure at what weight my body was "at it's intended weight". Today I range between 108-110. Some days I feel great, think I look great....and other days I feel to skinny, bony, and generally blah. What I do know is that losing more is not good....and gaining to me would be difficult after losing it. I am going to be content with my success and try to maintain right where I am.

milmin2043 · 10-06-2011, 01:04 AM

I remember when I was losing weight, I felt at 150 that if I never lost another pound, that I would be just fine. Throughout my life, that was my cutoff point, the weight that I knew I shouldn't be above. Of course, I was WAY above the cutoff point several times over the years, but that was my psychological red line. Now I don't and won't allow myself to go over 140. I am hoping and working hard to stay right around 135. I graduated from high school at 125, and I felt good at that weight as well.

I know that we are supposed to embrace ourselves at whatever weight we are, but I never felt like myself when I was at 240, or even 200. I always felt like I was in someone else's body.

InsideMe · 10-07-2011, 08:45 AM

For me the weight that I'm at right now is my "normal" this is where I have been the majority of my life. When I was heavier I felt fat and unhealthy. I've been below my current weight also but always felt fat, no matter how small I got. So mentally for me, my size, weight and fitness level right now is my norm. It's my comfort zone, it's where I "feel" good. I like how I look now in clothing too.... But in reality is it healthy for me? Breaking this mentality is posing to be very difficult for me, cause I want to carry my feeling of comfort as I lose more weight. But for me, it's feeling vaulnerable and "small" as I lose more, the fear of being attractive, and sexy at a smaller weight is what's keeping me in my comfort zone right now. However deep down, I know my body right now doesn't reflect me on the inside, so I simply have to conquer this fear I have of being "thin"

rachael · 10-07-2011, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milmin2043

I know that we are supposed to embrace ourselves at whatever weight we are, but I never felt like myself when I was at 240, or even 200. I always felt like I was in someone else's body.

I felt the same way. For 10 years of my life. It was terrible. When I looked at pictures of myself or at myself in the mirror, I was ALWAYS surprised at how I looked. When I look at pictures from then, I almost feel like it was a stranger, even though I haven't even been maintaining for 6 months yet. I feel normal and like I look like myself now, for the first time in a decade.

runningfromfat · 10-07-2011, 12:43 PM

I don't know if I have one specific weight that I identify with, more like I have a few of them and they're my mini-goals.

175lbs is sort of my absolute upper limit. It's my lowest adult weight and also the weight I got pregnant with DD at. I'm 1lb away right now and I know I'm a lot happier with my body than I was even 10 or even 5lbs ago. That being said I can still see and fell that I'm not at my goal and I want to go lower. I haven't reached some of my other goals (healthy BMI, wear size 8, 28" waist or under) so until those happen I'm not ready to quit yet.

155lbs was my college weight. I was pretty happy there but I knew I needed to lose a few at the time. I was very athletic but didn't do any lifting so maybe at that weight+lifting I would've been content. I'm not sure.

140ls I really think this is my low end. It's hard for me to picture going below this. I was pretty slim at that weight and remember never feeling like I had to lose more (and this was while being a teen in High school so I think that's saying a lot!). However, I'm not sure how it will look on my older, mom body+weight lifting so I can't say if that is necessarily the weight for me.

As to your original question... I wonder if you're putting more emphasis on having a perfect weight than it deserves? Being at a healthy weight doesn't change you inside, it doesn't make you more responsible, more intelligent, more thoughtful etc. It just makes you healthier and it might help when it comes to finding clothes. It sounds like you might have more wrapped up with the idea of a perfect weight than it really deserves? Either that or maybe you feel like there's a hole missing in your life that your weight loss journey somehow filled? Do you think maybe there are other activities/interests that could take its spot?

RedPanda · 10-07-2011, 01:49 PM

Interesting topic.

I think that feeling of being disassociated from our body is one of the many reasons why we can get so heavy in the first place. We know we're overweight, but somehow think that our body isn't really "us".

I think exercise helps us to really connect with our body and stop those feelings of disassociation.

liliesinmycereal · 10-07-2011, 02:17 PM

It's weird that I felt the most normal at like 200 pounds... this is foreign territory to me in a way... dissecting my weight loss like I have been changes my view. I think because I lost weight before my idea of my body is different because the first time I wasn't focused on the numbers really-- I was more focused on just beating my ideas notion that I couldn't lose weight. I'm actually enjoying this go round for the most part. I want to know more about my body and how it is healthy rather than just my numbers. My lowest weight was 145. When I get into the healthy BMI I want to stay there and that's what I want to be my new normal.

InsideMe · 10-07-2011, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by liliesinmycereal

It's weird that I felt the most normal at like 200 pounds... this is foreign territory to me in a way... dissecting my weight loss like I have been changes my view. I think because I lost weight before my idea of my body is different because the first time I wasn't focused on the numbers really-- I was more focused on just beating my ideas notion that I couldn't lose weight. I'm actually enjoying this go round for the most part. I want to know more about my body and how it is healthy rather than just my numbers. My lowest weight was 145. When I get into the healthy BMI I want to stay there and that's what I want to be my new normal.

I'm like you! This is where I feel normal cause this has been me most of my life.....so how did you break out of your comfort zone??

NadineMarie · 10-08-2011, 09:29 PM

I was always over weight as a teenager and got up to 219lb my freshmen year in college. I got down to 133lb and I think i maintained that for 4 months before meeting my boyfriend and gained it almost all back over the last 4 years. But i look at pictures of me at 133 and I think i was too skinny for my height and body frame. However I did not exercise during my weight loss and lost muscle too so this time around I want to get back to 135 while weight training and see what my body looks like. But i have this number in my head 150lb that once I get there I will be so much happier with myself and not in such a rush to lose so fast. But my first goal is 170lbs for christmas and then 150lbs by my birthday in march, then I want to be at goal by april/may for my college graduation and a family cruise!!

liliesinmycereal · 10-09-2011, 12:19 AM

I look at pictures of myself a lot now versus just looking at how I used to look. I like how I look now because I'm changing my wardrobe at the same time of my weight so I just feel better over all... Some days I really do revert back but it's just learning to love myself for more than just my weight to. Loving more about how I can exert my body in positive ways like dancing in Zumba versus wheezing/having the darth vader breathing for going up the stairs...