[Polarity]

I honestly stumbled onto this forum while searching for things online, and once I looked through the Goals forum I just wanted to shed a tear (out of happiness!). A lot of the girls here look gorgeous no matter what, but to see those transformations from shy and sad to confident and happy, it made me want to join too.

I'm a college student now, and have had my ups and downs with my weight. I'm the oldest of 3 girls, and basically I was the guinea pig in child rearing. My parents fed me whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and as a kid growing up I was teased a lot about my weight. I'm from Filipino descent, and naturally...we're a bit big. But currently I (think) weigh in at about 165 at 5'2".

After the end of a 5 1/2 year relationship, I spiraled into depression and went from 150 to about 110. I was thrilled about the weight loss when I started gaining confidence in myself again, but that confidence soon brought me back to where I am now--about 150-170 (I have no scale and can't weigh myself, but I know I'm big). I gained new friends and became a social and emotional eater. Within 2 months I gained a large amount of weight, apparent due to the stretch marks that started appearing on my body like the plague.

I've always been self-conscious about myself, and the stretch marks have just plunged me back down. I go to school right on the beach, and obviously I have my doubts when I head down to the beach in a bikini. I'm trying to start exercising, and I bike 20 minutes to school each day. I'm only eating food at home, and never eat fast food or drink soda. I want to lose the weight, and I want to feel...I guess, "beautiful" again.

I can't help but want to cry when I type all this out. Right now I have a loving fiancee that doesn't care about my weight, but when we first met I was around 120. He fell in love with me when I was a skinny girl, and I feel like I'm not sexy with all these stretch marks. I know that he doesn't care what I look like because he loves my personality, but I want to lose the weight both for me and him. I want him to be proud to say, look, that's my future wife.

[NEMom]

Welcome to the forum! You will find a ton of support on this site!

[Ryler832]

Welcome! There are any people here that can give you great advices. You have come to the right place. I can totally relate on the stretch mark issues. I was 110 lb when I met my husband. I ballooned after having my son. Pregnancy was a great thing but it changes the body. *sigh*

[BunnyGirl17]

I completely understand! Ive been 130 up to 213 more times than I care to count .. I had fought and worked out to 175 and was in a car accident which of course stopped me from working out .. Ive regained most of it .. Ive struggled to get the weight off and its coming off 1/2 a lb at a time .. UGH!!!

Beauty isnt determined by the number of your pants or the scale .. your beautiful no matter what those are .. but I know what you mean .. you just want to feel good in your own skin and there is a certain size that is your own happy place and we all want to be there!!