Mean Girls Turn Into Mean Women

  • So.

    I read all of these inspirational quotes all of the time, like "you won't be happy with others if you aren't happy with yourself", etc.....but I have to say this-

    I work in a male dominated field. We have 13 women in my office. Over the past year, I have lost 50lbs. I'm wearing clothes that FIT ME. I am dressing like everyone else in the office. Sometimes, I like to wear a pretty dress, because I found a cute one that fits me. Sometimes, I wear jeans-4 sizes smaller than I did this time last year. I look as professional as the next person.

    So, tell me, why is it ok for other women to be snarky, rude and just downright nasty to me? My body has changed, but my personality hasn't.

    Is it because I'm not "Fat Amy" anymore? I'm not fat, jolly, funny Amy? I'm a trimmer, more confident, but still jolly and funny Amy? Is it because I've grown my hair out and my face is thinner? Is it because I'm paying more attention to my outfits now since I can shop in any section of the store and I'm not limited to "Women's World"? What is it? WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?

    Thank you. I feel better
  • I'm sorry you're experiencing so much negativity. I do think that sort of behaviour is a reflection of them rather than you, so keep your chin up. Hopefully they aren't all like that?!
  • Sometimes it's hard taking the moral high ground. If you don't have to, how about a comeback? Here are a few that I saw on FB last night. You don't even have to say them, you can just THINK them and feel better:

    Where’s your off button?
    I’ve been called worse by better.
    I was born to be awesome…. not perfect.
    You should come with a warning label.

    Or my favorite: when anyone gives me guff, I smile sympathetically and say "are you having a bad day?" They can't tell if you are sincere or not. Sometimes that leads to an actual conversation about what went wrong with their day, which I suppose is an improvement over snarkiness.
  • Honestly, they're probably threatened by you now because maybe before they didn't take you seriously. It's sad, but so many women still only value themselves and others for how they look and not what they have to give to the world.

    Some of the worst places I've worked were all-female workplaces (I used to be a teacher). Women can be real horrible to each other, and often for little or no logical reason. It only makes things much more difficult for everyone, including them.
  • Awww, I'm sorry you're experiencing this meanness at work. Focus on the women here who support you and cheer you on. Also, you don't have to justify and explain how you choose to dress! Of course you can put on a cute dress, because it looks good on you. That's what all of us here are striving to do as well - reach our goals. You go!

    I like JayZee's idea about the comebacks in your head! That could be fun! Here's one: "How do I unfollow you in real life?"

    Hope all the replies here help, and you can find a way to deal with this. Above all, don't let them derail you. Let them keep on raining....you keep being the parade!
  • Seen Scream Queenz yet???
    I agree with your assumption. Unless they meet a stronger person to help mold them along the way in life they will continue to become more and more dominant in the Mean category. Oh well, to each their own personality style. We just go out and have a nice pizza, laugh em off, and go on another happy day of life w/o those cynical Scream Queens. They're No 1!!