Zumba - Don't give up, girl! I know it's so hard and frustrating when weight loss and life isn't going your way. You will get there...cut yourself some slack.

Hello, lovely ladies! I am so happy to have all of you to check in with every day - even if I don't post every day, I do read every day. Life just gets busy.

I feel so confused about my appearance. I am definitely at my "new fat" point. Being stuck in the 150s for so long is my personal new fat. It's frustrating. However, and I don't know if I am just making this up, my fat seems to be redistributing and settling in a different way - I can now fit into some Mediums and size 10s - whereas a few months ago, even in the 150s, I couldn't for the most part. This weekend I had someone gush over how "tiny" I am. She told me how people were remarking to her about how skinny I look. I would not call myself tiny by any stretch of the imagination. I felt pleasantly surprised that people would think that I have lost weight in the last few months and gotten thinner, when I haven't.

However, that all changed yesterday due to something, quite literally, juvenile. One of the secret reasons I wanted to lose weight was so that my kids wouldn't be embarrassed to have a fat mom. Yes, it's true. When I was heavier, kids used to tease my oldest son about how his father and I were fat. Well, yesterday, two of my 10 year old son's classmates came up to him and asked, "Do you know who the fat lady version of you is? Your mom!" My son came home really angry and said he felt like hitting them for making fun of me. I played it off and told him not to get upset over people acting ignorant. However, deep down, I felt hurt. I don't want to be the fat mom anymore, and I don't want to cause my kids embarrassment. When will I be thin enough for people/kids not to make fun of me? :(

Have a great day, everyone.

Oh, guacamole! :hug::hug::hug:

I just read your post. I have to say it brought more than just a tear to my eye. :cry: :cry: Maybe it's hormones, but I really want to "talk" about it. I know that many of you have kids, H & I never did. But I want you to please, please, please listen to your children.

H & I were both horribly bullied when we were kids. Not just words, but actual physical attacks. Course this was back in the day when parents, school officials & all the rest basically told kids who were bullied that it meant nothing. I was actually told on more than a few occasions that people picked on me becuase they LIKED ME!!! :?::?: They could not have been more wrong. 30+ years H & I still carry the scars, still hear the taunting & (in my case) have nightmares. I think the reason why is because my parents didn't listen/believe that it could happen to one of theirs. My parents were popular in school as was all my older siblings...I guess that gene ran out when it got to me. :(
I was a "big girl" in school, but not overweight. I had breasts by the time I was in the 4th grade. Not training bra breasts, but nearing C-cup breasts & all the other girls were basically flat. That lead to a lot of teasing & tormenting.
I won't go into are the nasty, horrible details, but just suffice it to say...I haven't gone to a HS reunion EVER and I NEVER WILL. I did NOT want to see those people in school so why would I want to see them now? My mom doesn't get that, she's gone to every reunion there's been in the 60+ yrs. since she graduated. More power to her, she has friends & classmates who treated her with respect & love. Most even showed up to Daddy's funeral in 2000.

Last thing, if your child is being treated badly at school, listen to them. That can make a BIG difference for them. Put your arms around them, give them a safe place to turn to when mean things are said/done & make home a safe haven. Yes, DO SPEAK out against bullying. But also let them know, you're in their corner & they do not have to cry alone. Do not think for one moment that the great school days you may have had are the same ones your son or daughter may be having. They maybe walking through a **** that you cannot imagine. So much so that it becomes one of the reasons they do not have kids...

I've gotta go for a walk. I'll climb down off the soapbox. Just please, please, please love your kids. Don't say, "Oh, they know I do." Show it! Talk to them, LISTEN to them, hug them. Your love can be the healing ointment they may sooo desperately need.

MrsTryingAgain - :hug: I'm so sorry that you and your H dealt with bullying in school. I have had my fair share with my kids and myself too in elementary school. I do have this son seeing a social worker every week to work through school/peer/family issues. Fifth grade seems to be the turning point when kids go from getting along to getting cliquey and mean. I started him in therapy this summer to head off any problems. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way with my older son's elementary school experience. So far, my 10 year old is navigating things ok, but he is very sensitive. I am in constant contact with his teachers and social worker about things that happen during the week. Sigh. Growing up isn't easy and being grown isn't easy.

:df:GOOD EVENING ALL! HOPE TODAY IS FINDING YOU ON-TRACK & DOING WELL!:df:

I'm feeling better than I was earlier. Sorry, hormones. Like I said guacamole's post really kinda pierced my heart.

guacamole: It's fine. It just caught me was all. Give your son a big hug for me. :hug: Yes, growing up is tough tougher with bullies. And you're right 5th grade does seem like a turning point. I wish him all the best. He's got a great start with a mom who's listening & trying to help.

zumba: Repeat this to yourself: I AM NOT A FAILURE! I AM NOT A FAILURE! Keep this in mind everytime you feel down. We all go through changes...it's part of being human. Trials & hard times suck, but you are stronger then they are! You can do this! And for those of us watching...regardless of how you feel, you are inspiring to all of us!

olehcat: :dust: I kinda see my goal for Christmas slipping away. I'm not sure why. Hormones? Stress? I've been pretty well on track, but I guess I just don't lose weight like I did in my late 20s - early 30s. But I'm not giving up! This weight will come off, I just have to not give up.

whirly (Robin): :welcome2: I think this is a great place to find people who can give great support. I've been here a little over 2 months & can't really go a day without popping in at least once. Good luck! Hope to see more of you here! :)

moving: Yes, it was fun to buy toys for the kids. I guess maybe I'm only a "scrooge" on the surface. ;) Sounds like you've hit your stride. Good for you! Hope it keeps that scale moving in the right direction. :cp:

liz: Glad the hydro workout was sooo awesome! I'd love to be able to do that! I have arthritis, sciatica & possibly nerve damage (my left thigh is almost alway numb). Who knows, maybe once I'm able to get in & see a dr. I'd love to get completely checked out. Perhaps if I can get it dr ordered for H, that I can go with him as a "chaperon", since he could possibly pass out. It's something to wish for, right? :lol:

Now, that I have caught up, I think. I'll let everyone know that I had a good day, in spite of getting a little choked up at guacamole's earlier post. Went for a walk in the park with H. We got to feed the fish! The park has a stream that runs through it that is filled with all kinds of fish. Ate well. Drank plenty of H2O. And now for something that I haven't had the guts to do til now...
This is me. I don't like getting in front of the camera, but I did it today at the park.

http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/...n/P1040093.jpg

Sorry for the big pic. Tried to reduce it, still getting the hang of it. Liz, any suggestions? Anywhos this is me at my favorite park today. Far as I know I'm still at 257.5

Ugh! I was just nearly to the end of a long message when something glitched in the program and I lost everything. I'll briefly re-cap what I remember. But this will be the abbreviated version. :?:

Guacamole--Your post broke my heart and brought a lump to my throat. Please consider letting the school administration know what that boy said to your son. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. Give your son an extra squeeze from me. :hug:

MrsT-- I'm sorry to hear that old stuff was dredged up for you. :hug: I think it's wonderful that despite what you went through as a kid, you've grown into a caring, supportive, empathic woman. And the fact that you picked yourself up and managed to have a good day speaks to your resilience. Thanks for the picture! Your park looks beautiful too.

Olehcat--Congrats on the party victory. Those situations are tough!

Whirlybird--Welcome! You'll find lots of support here.

Zumba-- :hug::hug::hug: You are clearly not a failure. You are going through a major life stressor and feeling the turbulence. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself.

Hi there lovelies!!Yes I too feel for the little lad who is bullied. Kids say the most hurful things and no matter what you do it is really hard to forget that hurt. I won't say too much more because I think that the other gals have said it beautifully. Well I had a fat mum and sheesh I never thought anything about it...never felt that she was not a good mum or anything so guac hun i am sure your little ones do not think anything about your size and love you just the way you are!! mrs trying you are such an awesome person soo strong and resilient to be the individual you are today despite all of that awfulness as a child and your DH too!!

okays here is a little about me..i am on track still...changing things up a little with food...trying a new exercise schedule..not walking in the mornings but doing hydro instead..walking of an afternoon though...i hurt quite a bit and getting numb 3 or 4 times whilst just shopping..very frustrating..but sigh i just rest for a bit and wait for it to go away then keep on trudging on..so thats it for me!! going to a funeral tomorrow for my friend..going to be very sad for her lovely hubby..she was such a nice person...would you all like to see the card i did her??..there is 4 parts to it and a lovely verse as well??...anyways i am tired to day...will go to bed tonight and watch the tv i think!!...hope you all had a good day despite the ups and downs...well the ups more than the downs...cheers liz

mrstrying-yeah i too go numb and yep it effects the outside of my left thigh all the time and only the whole leg of both when i have walked too far or stood too long in one spot...i find i have to stop when shopping now about 3 times...need to have more xrays done on my back and stuff and see the doctor before i can file for disability..yeah you can go as DH's carer at a cut price..at our pool they pay 1.25 which is way cheaper than full price of 4.20..that is why i needed to get the lower price cause i want to go everyday if i can!!..paying 4.20 is way out of our budget range so the lower price suits me better!! you look amazing i think...i soooo love your shirt..my hubby would love it!!..lol...lol..lol!!..beautiful park you have there too...oh about the photo see if you can reduce its size in a photo editing program??..
i don't know what you have hun so i really can't suggest much sorry!! let me know via pm and then i can help you!!

whirlybird-welcome welcome!! nice to meet you!!

All these bullying stories arevmaking me want to cry......I was bullied for being different ethnicity than everyone else.....kids can always find something to bully another kid for.......

I don't have to teach today....going to take out one of my workout DVDs....

DangerousCurves~Congrats on Onederland!! That's so great!

Zumba~:hugs: stay strong, you're going to overcome, maybe try getting back to the basics, drink water, track what you're eating, get in some exercise, I tracked my food last week, it helped, but of course I haven't done it this week...

Xmas lunch with my old coworkers today, BIG challenge, I'm just telling myself to get right back on, hopefully that will happen. :goodvibes

Whirlybird~:welcome: we watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, too, definitely changed the way I look at getting in fruits and veggies, I've never managed more than a 3 day juice fast, but eating alot more fruit and veg since then.

MrsTryingAgain~that's great doing the toys for tots thing, it makes you feel good to do for others, I wish I could do more, will definitely do more when I can.

I'm only halfway done reading everyone's posts but had to post something and will post more later.

NEMom~congrats on the progess you're making with the cigs, I think it's one of the best thing you can do for yourself and combining with the weight loss/fit lifestyle is great.

Guac~so sad to read your post about the nastiness, it's amazing the affect of others' words, brought me back to my ugly duckling days growing up, kids can be so mean at times and so wonderful at other times, maybe not the same kids, but hopefully you know what I mean. Some people, whether kids or adults, know what to say that pokes at your tender spot and will say it even if it's not true. :hug:

MrsTryingAgain~thanks for the picture, you look great, beautiful smile, that park looks like a great place to walk!

Liz~I have to look back, somehow I missed your card, sounds great, hope your numbness is going away. You're doing great. Just saw your card, it's great, thanks for sharing!

I never would have thought it would be this hard to maintain through the holidays...
best to all :sunny:

Today weighed in at 142.2, so I'm REALLY hoping to be back down to my low by tomorrow so I can drop further than that by the weekend. Water weight, GO AWAY. I have to keep perspective in that a few weeks ago in mid week, I was dancing around 144-145 a lot, so I'm making progress, albeit slow. This is SUCH a hard time of year, too. I WANT cookies!

Zumbachica - Please don’t feel like a failure. I was exactly where you are at the end of the summer. My marriage, which had been deteriorating for the past few years, finally ended this past summer and I was the highest weight (for me) that I’ve been in a very long time. And not only that, I couldn’t seem to pull it together enough to take care of that problem, so my weight kept hovering around 149-150 for months even though I felt like I was “losing weight” and depriving myself of everything. Things will get better, though. Just keep up the good work and nourish yourself.

Guacamole – I know what you mean about “new fat”. Omg, when I first put on the extra weight this past summer it felt totally weird and unnatural, but the longer it stayed, the more it spread out or felt more “natural” on me, and that scared me! I seriously can’t believe that that friend of your son would think of you as “fat” at your weight/height!! That’s insanity. I’m not much below that and I’m shorter than you and I work with children all the time and no child has ever referred to me as fat (and believe me, they would, they don’t have a sense of being polite all the time).

MrsTryingAgain – that bullying sounds HORRIFIC. I was like you in that I developed really early (I reached my full height and boob size when I was in late fourth grade) and I remember having my period, then, too, and feeling SO self-conscious, but I wasn’t teased for it. I’m so sorry you and your h. went through that kind of thing. :( OH, and NICE PICTURE!!!! You look great!

MovingForward – THANK YOU. I still struggle so much in social party situations and controlling my urge to binge there.

Good Morning,

I am new to the boards - just joined yesterday but have been reading for a few days. Hope it's not too late to join in the December chat! I posted a bio in the 40 somethings.
I have been heavy and thin and, unfortunately, back again. Many, many times. HW-258, LW-130. My husband and I committed to getting healthy - only thing is - he wants to wait until Jan 1 and I am ready now. Since the holidays aren't a big thing around here (no kids at home) there is no need to worry about overeating or anything like that. If I don't buy it I figure I can't eat it! And, sadly, I have travelled this road so SO many times I know I can do it. Just questioning how to maintain it once I get there. So, I figured I would join this forum and gather support from others. It's funny- when I woke up this am I fed the dogs, jumped on the elliptical and couldn't wait to visit the boards and see how folks were doing. You folks were inspiring me and you didn't even know it!


-Courtney

Thanks for all the kind words everyone! Quick check-in today. I weighed in this morning at 151lbs. Not as bad as I had feared. Two NSVs happened to me-

1. My doctor's office has the smallest hospital gowns ever! At my high weight I couldn't even close them, last year I could barely tie the strings together, and this year they fit with room to spare! Woo hoo! I finally fit into those small a&* gowns!

2. I went to a department store to try on some evening gowns for an upcoming wedding. I fit into a size 8! I know it was vanity sizing because this was an upscale department store, but still! A single digit size - even if for only a moment! Woo hoo! I still haven't found the right dress, though. Still looking.

Anyway, overall a good day. Hope you all are doing well!

Thanks for your support everybody. I took out my Belly Fat cure book and will try and start that tomorrow........hopefully I'll make some progress before Christmas.

Stayed in all day....no desire to go anywhere....needed the time out.......ready to start over now......

Will go food shopping tomorrow for all the stuff I need for the jump start of the diet....

gUAC....great NSVs!

SUM...good luck with the showing!

2fatcats....good for you for notvwaiting until January 1!!!!

OLEHCAT.....I had cookies today....you just wanted them.

Kelijpa.....you are making progress..don't forget that!

GREETINGS TO ALL THE LADIES OF THE 40S BOARD! HOPE YOU ARE ALL HEALHTY & WELL!

Another busy, busy day at work. Evenso, I ate well & drank my H2O. went for a 40 min. walk with H this AM, before work. I was wondering to myself on the way home from work if hot flashes burn calories...I REALLY HOPE SO!!! :hot: I think that would be a reasonable pay off for going through the change, right? ;)

guacamole: I like that you fit in a SINGLE DIGIT dress, who cares if it wasn't the one. :rofl: About the hospital gown! I HATE those things!!! I always feel like I'm putting on a "show" for everyone & believe me, I DON'T WANT TO!!

zumba: Good luck! Sometimes reaching back to something we know worked is helpful. I've been thinking about adding even more strength training, I just feel like it's needed...can't hurt. Let us know how it goes!

SUM: Good luck with the housing situation. And congrats on keeping moving. You inpire me, girl!

2fatcats: :welcome2: Why wait til Jan. 1? Do you know that in 2 weeks you can pretty much solidify new, healthy habits? You might even drop some pounds? Sure, many people start on New Year's but why be "normal"? If you have the desire to start, I say start! Strike while the iron is HOT & you have all us right here with you! GO FOR IT!!!

olehcat: I know what you mean about cravings. Earlier this evening it popped into my head I wanted a burger & fries. WHATT?? I said, "You've been good for this long. Do you really want it?" I decided no & brewed myself a cup of extra spicy chia tea. All was good. One thing I try to do, is ask myself 3 or 4 times do I really, really want it...usually the craving goes away. Most times it's just something I've seen, smelled or I'm stressing about something.

kelijpa: If it weren't for my mom we wouldn't be able to give toys at all. Mom is 84 & really doesn't get out a whole lot. Not that she can't do it, I think she is self-conscious of her ever so slight limp...she broke her leg last spring & with her age, arthritis I don't think it healed perfectly. She is still a go-getter. She lives on our home ranch alone where she takes care of her 2 dogs, 1 house cat, 6 barn cats, 1 mule & 2 burros. The animals are the reason she gets out of be each day. SHE IS MY HERO! Tough as nails, but kind, giving & loving.

It was soo cute! I'm sitting here catching up with everyone on the board & H asks, "So how are the gals in your group?" He's so cute! Maybe I'll have to get a photo of the 2 of us together & post. Anywhos have a great Thursday!

BE GOOD! EAT HEALTHY! EXERCISE! YOU CAN DO THIS!