3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/)
-   40-Somethings (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/40-somethings-216/)
-   -   Are you happy/content? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/40-somethings/255776-you-happy-content.html)

Lunula 03-28-2012 09:21 AM

Are you happy/content?
I often wonder how others in their 40's feel about their lives in general - are you content/happy with where you are in life? Do you feel your age/maturity is helping or hurting you with your "get fit" goals?

I will be 41 in a month (*SHUDDER*) and I have honestly been dealing with a mid-life crisis. Turning 40 last year was a huge impetus for losing weight and getting healthy - I reached that breaking point where I said to myself, "I just cannot spend another decade overweight and miserable." I've dealt with pretty severe depression my entire adult life, and making the choice to be healthy was life or death - either I make the choice to make my life better, or I end it. Sounds severe, but I chose correctly and things are immensely better for me. But turning 40, though it makes me sad in many ways, is also the biggest reason I'm succeeding still...a year later. I spent my 30's absolutely miserable, for many reasons, and sometimes because of life events beyond my control; but my weight made everything worse and fueled my depression uncontrollably.

So now, at almost 41, I can say...I am content with my life. I am making positive changes, doing things I love that I let fall away over the past decade and I'm happy with myself. I do have regrets, but overall I am content. I have never been able to say that before. Turning 40 was, actually, a blessing for me and really snapped some reality back - what about you? Do you feel happy & content with where you are now? Do you feel different than you did in your 30's or 20's? In a good or bad way?

Just curious to see how my fellow 40-somethings are dealing! :D

ksails 03-28-2012 09:53 AM

Im very happy. I spent my teens unsure of who i was, my 20s mostly pregnant lol, my 30s having yet another pregnancy and really busy in the mothering department. Now that i am nearing 40 i can anticipate life only getting better. My husband is really and truly my best friend and partner, my kids are great, and i cant wait to watch them to continue to grow, and become adults (i will have an 18 year old this year!) My mother has always told me that 40 on was and still is her favorite part of her life (she is turning 61 this year) Our finances arent always perfect, and yah id like to be saving more for retirement than i do but all in all i am SO happy and i cant imagine that it can get any better.

peachypeg 03-28-2012 11:02 AM

Very Happy!!!!!

Yes, I can fully comprehend the mid-life crisis. I had my kids in my mid to late 20's. Was a military wife with all the hassles of moving, raising kids on a shoe-string budget, ect. My ex and I both hit our 40s and we both realized the substance was missing. We divorced and I am the happiest I have ever been. I found (or did he find me) a real good man that loves to spoil me. ;) My baby turns 17 today and I am anticipating "starting over" with new adventures.

Vex 03-28-2012 11:47 AM

Congratulations on your loss, you're really getting close to goal!

I'm 42 and happy. In fact, the only part of my life I'm really unhappy is with my weight. I decided once and for all I'd like to experience life and a normal weight. I'd hate that to be a regret I have later on.

I absolutely feel different than my 30s - more in control of everything around me and more content. My 20's are really just a blur... that hopefully will never become clear. :)


guacamole 03-28-2012 02:02 PM

My 30s sucked! I went through my midlife crisis in my 30s, realizing that my youth was over and done. I felt very out of control and very unhappy and the weight piled on and made everything worse.

Now in my 40s I feel much more in control. I've accepted that my youth is over, but I know now that the second half of my life can be even better than the first half. I can honestly say I am content. Am I happy? It really depends on the day. I have moments of happiness, but I also have moments of sadness and regrets too. However, that's life. Without the down times we wouldn't be able to fully appreciate the good times. I am most grateful for the good times in my life.

kirsteng 03-28-2012 02:14 PM

I'm 43 and happy. As I've been every decade of my life though...

My twenties were for travel, living in other countries, meeting my future husband, working...

My thirties were for nesting - having 3 little ones (now almost 9, 7 and almost 3), building a house, gardening... a great decade too.

My forties so far have been busy (being a stay at home mom to my 3 kiddos), and the travel has come back as my husband works for the Canadian embassy and gets posted abroad rotationally. (Fits me to a T as I love travel!) ;) My big struggle though at the moment is to try to fit in time for me, for my diet and exercise plan, as well as to try to eke out some time for my dreams (especially writing a book). Still working on that one! ;)

As far as my weight, I've always been one of those 'fat but fit' types who exercised regularly and had consistent weight my entire adult life (albeit about 50 pounds too heavy). I gained an extra 25 having my 3 kids which really started to make me feel bad physically - in my hips especially. So now that that's almost gone (the baby 25), I'm going to keep working on that extra 50 I've always carried so I can see what it feels like to move through life as a light person instead! :)

aokiemom 03-28-2012 10:00 PM

I am turning 41 in a few weeks and still can not believe it. I am very happy to have brought six wonderful children in the world and stayed married to a great man for 25 years. I really need to get the weight off from all the kids but have been carrying it around for the last 16 years since I had my first one. And I do have days since I turned 40 that I wonder if I have accomplished enough in all those years. But I wouldn't trade then for anything else.

Lunula 03-29-2012 11:31 AM

So interesting to read all the responses! I really, honestly, never had an issue with birthdays before I hit 40. From 29 to 30 was no big deal. Hitting 39, I remember thinking, "Uh oh, it's almost 40" - and even when I turned 40 I didn't give it much thought. But...40 was the year I started really losing a lot of weight and something happened...wrinkles! I can't believe how much they've shown up, literally overnight, as the fat deposits have whittled away.

And, I'm a blonde, so I've never really seen gray hair. BUT, this year, I spotted them...in my eyebrows! No denying it anymore, I could see them.

So it hit me slowly. I remember seeing a commercial last year of a Dr. Oz show where he was discussing aging and he said something about, "Aging after 40 - as you enter the 2nd half of your life." -- I was dumbfounded when I heard this...the 2nd half of my life?! I remember feeling terror in my stomach.

I'll be 41 next month and it doesn't bother me as much. I think finally getting healthy has really helped me get over it, or at least make it smoother.

So nice to hear that we've all dealt with it on some scale.

Zumbachica 03-31-2012 02:47 PM

Wow, what a great and thought provoking thread. I have to stay that right now I am NOT happy becuase I am going through the world's ugliest divorce. I always had episodes of anxiety and depression but looking back now I can see why. My twenties were hard years because I was so busy working hard to achieve things that I thought I had to.....like working to help my husband build up his business...then in my thirties I had my children and although they brought me so much happiness it was the first time I admitted that I was unhappy and felt trapped and controlled...I started putting on weight ...so here I am in my forties getting divorced and dismantling a life that i worked so hard to build. But even though I'm unhappy I know that peace is on the horizon, and I also know myself so much better now and have a confidence that I never had before. I will survive this time in my lief, and if I can survive this then I can find a way to lose this weight once and for all!!!

Periwinkle8 03-31-2012 11:06 PM

Interesting question
I think I am actually in the middle of a mid-life crisis! I turn 40 in October and even though I don't put much stock in that being a big deal, I wonder if it has been doing a subconscious number in me. This year I resigned from my teaching position, in a school I love teaching classes the kids love. I'm walking away from a secure, well -paying job in this economy--what?!

I think it hit me that if I can't see myself doing this same job for 20 more years, I need to find something different. So, back to school for me! I want to become a marriage and family therapist, which will take 3 years in school and another 2 working before I become licensed. I'm both crazy scared to take this plunge and super excited to be doing something new and learning again.

Other than that craziness, life is good. Great partner, 4 kids who drive me crazy/I love like wild, and realizing I hopefully don't need to give up on being fat and ugly forever!


KittyKatFan 04-01-2012 03:03 PM

I am not happy, but I have hope for the future - something I haven't had in a long time.

In 2010 I was totally miserable. I had a difficult job that took up most of my time and was living in a small town that made me feel isolated and lonely. Whatever time off I did have was spending time with my dad (my mom died in 2001). His health was deteriorating and i was his sole support system.

Things got worse in the fourth quarter of 2010. I took a short term assignment in another state, and when I was gone, my father was hospitalized. I also had to cut my short term assignment off, which I was enjoying, because of problems at my regular place of work. It turns out that coming back was good because my father had to go to a hospice and he died.

Three days after his death, I ended up in the hospital to have emergency surgery, and I had complications. While in the hospital, I realized how truly alone I was in life. After I got out of the hospital, I got a call from a VP in another division of my company. I had interviewed for another job and she said an offer was coming. I was so excited and sent an email to my boss to tell him. A couple weeks pass and no offer. Turns out my boss decided not to release me (he had originally been supportive) until February 2011 and the hiring manager insisted I be there January 3 - this is after the interview process had taken months - so she moved on to an external candidate. I just fell into depression.

Another company offered me a job in February and I took it, I moved and since then, I feel mote optimistic. I like where I live now, work for a good company and have a fair, honest boss. I have been losing weight, so I feel healthier and have taken up golf again, which I enjoy. My new job isn't as stressful, and due to good time off policies, I have been able to travel.

I still feel alone. I wish I had a relationship, and I still hope for that, but I think those possibilities are over for me. I have made a couple of friends at work, and hope to make a couple of friends outside of work, but my shyness and awkwardness in social situations makes it tough. But overall, I do feel better than I nice did.

NEMom 04-02-2012 10:00 AM

I will turn 42 this month and I have to say my 40's have been far better than my 30's. Through my weight loss I have found myself and have decided that it is OK to treat myself sometimes. My kids are older and they do not need mommy around 24/7 but I am proud of the job I have done with them.
My relationship with my husband is better than it has been in 10 years. After spending all of my 30's stressed about every little think, I am so much more relaxed and happier. I feel like I am finally able to enjoy life.
Do I wish we had more money? More savings, of course but I am leaning that how much we have in the bank does not define me as a person.

kandyrews 04-02-2012 10:15 AM

I am 46 and I'm not happy, but I'm not unhappy. It depends on the day. I miss my 20's and 30's when I use to get out more, had more money and had so much fun. Also it was before I gained all this weight. So far there hasn't been anything great about getting older, just gaining weight and getting wrinkles and graying hair. I suppose in most aspects I am content, but not with my weight and I wish I had more friends here...I miss being back home where my friends and family are. I moved here to the city in 08 when I married and it's so different. And of course wish we didn't struggle financially. But at the same time, I am thankful for what I do have. So really it does depend on the day, some days I'm content and happy others, not so much.

Zumbachica 04-06-2012 02:29 PM

Ivy sometimes when we lose weight we sit there and say "Now what?" and then the focus is on other parts of our lives, rather than us obsessing over our weight. You have accomplished so much with your weight loss though....congratulations and may you find the happiness you so deserve.

AlmostMe 04-09-2012 05:29 AM

Nope 41 and desperately unhappy! Lost my job and realised my marriage is a sham last year. Been so depressed since January. Just slumped. Fighting my way back with exercise and anti-depressants. But I'm optimistic for the future. I need to get a job and lose about 165 pounds (my husband).

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:50 PM.

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.