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Old 06-10-2009, 08:30 AM   #1
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Default Emotional eating support requested!

Wondering if there are any emotional eaters out there who would care to team up and help one another on a daily basis.

I have to update my signature because I haven't been on this Website in a while, but I am now 219.2 lbs as of this morning. I keep starting and restarting my "efforts" to lose 70 lbs. Toward the middle to end of the day I always find myself rationalizing allowing myself to eat what I want and "start tomorrow". It's always tomorrow.

When I do find myself successful throughout the day, it's like I feel very uncomfortable not having my eating "habit" to help me through the day. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I eat when I'm stressed, happy, anxious, you name it. The only emotion that I don't eat to is fear (like when I think my kids are sick, or have received some bad news, etc.)

If anyone can relate to this, and they would like to form a support for one another, I think that is what I need.

I will NOT give up my fight to get rid of this fat.

Thank you in advance!
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:37 AM   #2
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I think most of can relate to the difficulty of getting started and saying "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll start Monday".

TODAY IS YOUR DAY!!!

We are ALL here for you. Jump in and get active.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:38 AM   #3
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Thank you! Is there an appropriate place here where I can journal every day? I just want to put out there my struggles and maybe help others along the way and also get some feedback from others.
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Old 06-10-2009, 09:26 AM   #4
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Mellyanne, I have written so many posts almost exactly the same. I know how "today" always turns into "tomorrow", and after a while, I just forget to keep trying. I have been a 3FC member for over years now, and have gained 20 pounds. Count me in. Lets devise a method where we can all hunker. I'll bring coffee !

Maybe jsut keep this thread going a while, get people's attention. I find that creating a blog really helps (do read mine, i just started a new one last month) and to go onto other's blogs. But,,, so many of the people don't blog, so you just have to go over posts. I feel staying on the 40's forum helps me to centralize, because 3FC is vast. Too vast. Easy to get lost in the crowd.

Last edited by Hermit Girl; 06-10-2009 at 09:38 AM.
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Old 06-10-2009, 09:39 AM   #5
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Chicks In Control forum is a good place to start. But Cruise is right on - there is a place where the decision occurs to just get on with it, and sometimes it gets a little too comfortable to always be forgiven for constant slipups - it becomes the safe routine. That being said ... there's plenty of good advice over there for finding ways to abort the binges and to talk yourself out of eating inappropriately. Time and time again, the answer has been ... get the heck out of the house and go for a walk. The stress relief of walking is legendary!
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Old 06-10-2009, 10:00 AM   #6
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You are onto something here -- I make it so easy to forgive myself. When I read/hear people say, "Forgive yourself if you slip up, don't beat yourself up" -- well I take that to the extreme and allow myself a "final party" each and every night. That is how I have gotten to this weight. One last chance to binge then tomorrow, oh boy, will be different.

The scary question is, what is different today that will make me successful, when I have failed over the last 10 years? Well, not entirely, I did manage to lose about 20 lbs a few years ago, but then went to Disney World and ate whatever I wanted, and when I came back didn't want the vacation to end so continued to eat and eat like I was still there.

Thank you for your responses to this thread. I think I will keep it going and I know that we can help each other.

I just heard someone say the more times you fail the closer you get to success. It's like drug rehab -- relapses are necessary before it sticks. I do feel like I have a drug habit in the form of food.


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Originally Posted by ICUwishing View Post
Chicks In Control forum is a good place to start. But Cruise is right on - there is a place where the decision occurs to just get on with it, and sometimes it gets a little too comfortable to always be forgiven for constant slipups - it becomes the safe routine. That being said ... there's plenty of good advice over there for finding ways to abort the binges and to talk yourself out of eating inappropriately. Time and time again, the answer has been ... get the heck out of the house and go for a walk. The stress relief of walking is legendary!
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Old 06-10-2009, 11:41 AM   #7
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I'm no expert but here's my suggestion. Find something to replace food for when you are stressed. Take a walk, take a bath, read a book, do your nails. Something to keep you occupied instead of food.

Start today to make small changes. I have been successful because I have looked at this as a life change. The way I am eating now is the way I must eat for the rest of my life. If I go back to old habits when I make goal, I'll be right back to where I started and I don't want that. I have given up nothing, I have just trained myself to make better choices.

Keep posting here for support and encouragement. It's not easy but you can do this!
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Old 06-10-2009, 11:46 AM   #8
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I recommend following the posts of RockinRobin, LoriBell, kaplods, and Glory87, just to name a couple ... but these gals have spoken so eloquently about how they made the decision to lose STUNNING amounts of weight, and they've all gone about it in different ways. They'll emphasize that nobody should expect perfection, but there's a "switch" where each has decided that they are going to quit dieting forever, and make lifestyle changes in ways that they can live with always. And the common theme is that each time you open your mouth to stick food in, you are making a choice. Nobody sits on your chest and shovels it in for you - and you don't do it in your sleep - so it IS a choice. I guess that's what did it for me - was realizing that NOBODY could make me take the weight off but me ... and similarly, NOBODY can put back what I've lost but me. It's ownership! That being said ... some of the obstacles are physiological ... see kaplods' posts for some of the hurdles she's uncovered, and it does take time and patience if you have those issues. Carbs are a huge problem for many of the 3FC'ers - they set off horrible cravings. It really is a journey, mellyann - and absolutely nothing works for every one of us. But you will find all the information you could ever ask for on what is working, and support for applying it to yourself.

You CAN do this!!!! Patience, perserverance, and PROGRESS!!! Don't wait for tomorrow - ACTION IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR DESPAIR!
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Old 06-12-2009, 12:23 PM   #9
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Mellyann,

I know exactly where you are coming from. The "slip-ups" and "I'll start tomorrow" have added up to 50 lbs for me over the last three years. I just got back on the weight loss wagon this week. It's hard. The first two days were good for me but then I fell back into wanting that pint of Blue Bell ice cream after work every night! I've been reading the Beck Diet Solution. It uses cognitive behavioral therapy to assist in weight loss. Some of the things the book suggests may be helpful to you. One of the steps it suggests is writing down (on an index card) all the reasons weight loss will benefit you. I've done this and here's part of my list:

My feet will not hurt.
My back will not hurt.
I can wear all my old clothes again.
I will be healthier.
I will have more energy.
etc....

I've made copies of the card and placed them in various locations around my house: bathroom mirror, refrigerator door, etc. I even have one in my purse for when I'm out and about and have the urge to binge.

Hope this helps. Good luck to you! Keep us updated.

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Old 06-12-2009, 01:11 PM   #10
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I think this is a problem for most of us. One of the ways I have been dealing with my emotional eating this time around is literally asking myself " Are you really hungry?" before I ever take a bite. It causes me to stop and re-assess if I am just wanting to eat because of an emotional trigger. I have even gone so far as to fix something and then throw it away.

Just keep reading posts and trying things that might click for you. Like someone else said, there is no one thing that works for every single one of us.

Good luck
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:50 PM   #11
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I think it's important to realize that even "slip ups" are conscious decisions that we have made. I don't even really like calling them "slip ups" because there was no slipping involved; I made the DECISION to eat the birthday cake!

I do feel that it's important to learn from the event and then move on, because that food can't be un-eaten. So learn from the event, figure out how to not commit the "slip up" next time, and move on with new resolution. Where people can sometime get into trouble is having the "slip up" happen, and then going into self-flagellation mode. They start a negative diatribe against themselves: "I'm disgusting! I'm a pig with no self control!", etc. That is NOT helpful in the least, at least not in my opinion. It's not motivating; all it does is make me feel worse.

So, realize that bad decisions happen; weak moments occur. The trick is in gaining experience in your new lifestyle and learning how to avoid those pitfalls. So cut yourself some slack but not so much that your new plan will start on some mythical tomorrow or next Monday. Today is the day. Not tomorrow, not Monday. Today.
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