[ann]

i am haveing a hard time at the minute trying to motivate my 14 year old son to lose weight i am being very careful to serve him the same low fat food that i am eating and watching his portion sizes but i feel as though i'm punishing him and i do feel bad. we have a large family (7, 5 boys and 2 girls) and i like to think i am supplying them all with a good diet , but i do tend to cave under the "i don't like that " rant and when they were younger iwas just happy to see them eating, but now i think my 14yr old is paying the price, i have taken him to see the doctor, but to be honest i didn't get much help. i know that it really is'nt a good idea to put children on a diet but that has been their reply now for nearly 4 years, i think he has passed the puppy fat stage and i am worried that he is to comfortable with his shape and that he will develope health problems like myself, and diabates and heart disease are very strong in our family. i know he is eating junk like all kids and i know if there are biscuits or crisps in the house he will get tempted (i do) but i beat myself up about and he dosn't how do i change his attitude with out giving him a complex or having running battles? myself and my husband are taking major steps to change our lives and win the battle of the bulge so how do you get a 14 yr old on board (sorry for such a long rant, i needed to get it of my chest)

[ceal2000]

Hi Ann,

I think that as you to continue to lead by example, as time goes on your son will see what a great job you're doing with losing weight and eating healthier, he'll be impressed and probably come to you at some point and ask for advice on losing weight, as you know it's a decision that he has to make himself, after he hears all of the compliments that you receive he will want to jump on the weight loss band wagon right along with you.

[Lori259]

Ann I Never mention it to my kids~I just switched out to other healthier stuff they liked~Like yogurt Verses Cookies~Even if They eat 5 yogurts a day(60 X5 =300 ) It's still less than eating 10 cookies (10 cookies 10 X 80 Equalls 800)
Also sugar free pudding /sugar free jello~ect they can eat more of it and still feel like they are overeating but getting way less calories.
Just do not mention it much to him and change out stuff and the weight will start to leave. My daughter has lost about 25 lbs since Christmas and doesn't even realize it was from those small changes. And my son has lost about 10lbs. My other son gained a few but hes's 8 and in slims still so he needed to add a few extra healthy pounds. Do not give up Just keep on trying but Do not mention it is key in my opinion. There only kids once and they do not need our woories on them....and keep up the good work.Your a fabulous MOM for caring and giving it your all.

[aneleh]

Yea, I agree with Lori, you don't have to mention it, just decide what food comes in the house and that's it. My mom always gave into the 'guilt' of us kids not having candy and junk, but really you shouldn't feel any guilt for providing healthy food! Food is NOT an adequate reward for kids (or anybody), and they don't need junk to be happy. Your kids don't need to be put on a diet per say, just eating healthy foods and getting some exercise will be enough and they will grow into their weight.

[ann]

thanx ceal2000 and lori259 some really good advice especially swapping and not telling him well fingers crossed i'll let you know how i get on

[Lori259]

Awesome~i promise it works~and my kids even complained a little at first but I just said I wanted yogurt it's good try it~ect ect and they bought right into it.

[ann]

thanxanelh didn't mean to miss you out and i've written down your phrase just to remind me when i feel bad FOOD IS NOT AN ADEQUATE REWARD it works for me to

[sweet_talker]

I wouldn't be too concerned that he is comfortable with being overweight, teenagers are so critical of themselves I have a hard time believing it's not on his mind. He's probably uncomfortable with having to make changes about his diet when he sees that some people continue to eat crisps without gaining any weight and might not feel open about talking about it. At 14 he's going through a lot of changes, so many that it's hard to take everything in at once. Maybe you can encourage him to take up a sport, or be more active to lose some weight through exercise.

Another thing that might help is trying to make things like biscuits a special treat to have in the house, not just something your family expects to have around. Try to have really healthy meals all week, and make Friday a time to have some of the not as healthy foods.

You sound like a really caring mother and I'm sure your family must appreciate how hard you are trying to ensure that they all have a healthy lifestyle, and leading by example is also great Good luck!!

[Onmyway]

I agree, changing the things that are available for snacking in your house is a good place to start. Is your son involved in any sports or athletic activities? Encouraging a family walk or hike or biking together. Anything to get him moving more is also important.

Good luck and he's lucky to have you supporting him!

[ann]

i'm really grateful for all your advise and i had a chat with my son last night and i think we have come to a compromise he has agreed to meet me half way as far as the snacks and junk food are concerned and i've agreed that we will still have pizza and movie night on saturdays and we have spotted a second hand bike for sale in the newspaper so as he has a birthday coming up we have agreed to go and have a look and see what he thinks so i'll keep you posted who knows i might even use it when he's at school

[Just Deb]

I think our children learn how to live healthy, happy lives by watching our examples. As you succeed in your journeys, he will be watching.

Great idea about the bike. I was also going to suggest checking into your local park district for activities or classes he may enjoy.

[ann]

hi everyone just thought i'd give you an update i'm happy to report my son is happily snacking on low fat snacks and he's not conplaiinng (to much) i have managed to swap most of his favourites and even found weight watcher pizzas which he enjoyed on saturday and didn't realise i had swapped as yet we haven't weighed in but i'm confident we will see a lose. we're heading out shopping soon to buy his outfit for his brothers wedding so hopefully we'll see a big difference by then