[annemarie]

Sorry for the heavy (no pun intended) nature of this post. I have recently felt very let down and saddened by two people who I was very close to (separate incidents.) It got me thinking as to reasons I have been treated this way and I do sometimes wonder if my weight (been overweight since childhood) has moulded my personality into someone who puts others first and is maybe even a people-pleaser. I don't want this to sound like a "poor me" post - this is life, but just wondering your views and why I'm only getting this insight all of a sudden. Maybe I'm just blaming stuff on my weight.

[sontaikle]

Honestly you could have described me—up until 5 years ago or so. I became a MAJOR people-pleaser in elementary school because I figured out that people would leave me alone and not make fun of me for my weight.

It was only until I got to college that I realized that I could stand up for myself. It helped that I was in an exclusive honors-type program that allowed me to take classes with the same 40 or so people. We all became an opinionated family I learned that I DIDN'T have to just please others; I COULD stand up for myself and state my opinion and if I didn't like something, I could say so! My personality changed dramatically throughout my undergrad years and I made many wonderful friends because of it.

Now that I'm losing weight, The only shift I've noticed is my clothing size and eating habits. I don't seem to have any boosts of confidence or anything like that...I think I got it all back in college!

[gagalu]

i'm like that too. well, when i have all the weight on, anyway. i always come out of my shell and stand up for myself when i lose weight. i'm a lot more aggressive, but a lot more playful, as well. maybe as you lose weight you will find your confidence.

[djs06]

I understand where you're coming from... I am a MAJOR people pleaser as well. I've been that way for so long that I'm sometimes not sure how to figure out what I actually want in a given situation!

I don't think it's just my weight that has molded me into that role, but I do think that's been a big part of it.

[Lori Bell]

In real life I have always been a people pleaser. Fat or thin, I've always gone out of my way to make other people happy. I can honestly say that there are very few people in my life who would do the same for me. However, when I discovered the Internet many years ago, I found that I could hide behind a screen name and be much more outspoken than I would ever be in public. Good for me I guess, bad for the people who tick me off on-line...lol

[ennay]

I would say that it is just as likely, maybe even more likely that your tendency to put yourself last has led to the weight rather than the other way around.