Why do people keep asking when I am due? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

CrystalZ10 · 08-11-2011, 02:47 AM

When did it become okay for people to assume your pregnant and ask rude questions?
I've had men and women ask me when I was due, how far along was I, and did I know the sex of my baby yet? My favorite by far though was the time a woman said, "Wow, you look like your going to pop soon. When are you due?"

I just wanna curl up and cry or yell at them. Instead, I just say "I;m not pregnant. Most people will stammer and apologise, and the woman who asked me if I was going to pop soon, ran away from me and apologised to the OTHER cashier instead of me. She wouldn't look at me. It was almost enough to make me laugh if I wasn't busy crying.

It always seems that as soon as I start a diet, and lose weight, the comments happen. Plus, I'd love to have a kid but we can't afford one so no babies for me.

Was there ever a time when it was rude to ask someone if they were pregnant, or is it normal?

I keep promising my co-workers that one April Fools day, if someone asks me, I will spill some water on the floor and cry that my water just broke!

Lovely · 08-11-2011, 03:11 AM

Oh goodness...

I think this tends to be a normal question. Normal in the sense that people are trying to make conversation or are overexcited about babies and want to talk... and... accidentally assume something that is not true.

I PROMISE you, that they will think twice about asking anyone else ever if they are pregnant after your deadpan "I'm not pregnant."

I had a pregnant friend who said "When will people notice that I'm pregnant?" She was so "into" her pregnancy that she was imagining up that other women around us "must be pregnant, too... look at their bellies." Believe me, they didn't really have much in the belly department. She was projecting.

There's no winning that war if you're a stranger. Some people want to hear it, some people don't ever want to hear it. The best thing we can do individually is to avoid assuming, and have the biggest sense of humor we can manage when the assumption comes our way.

I remember reading some of the answers that people have retorted with when asked "When are you due?" My favorite was "Oh, about nine months from whenever I get pregnant." Takes people half a second to let that one sink in

Tanna Banana · 08-11-2011, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely

I remember reading some of the answers that people have retorted with when asked "When are you due?" My favorite was "Oh, about nine months from whenever I get pregnant." Takes people half a second to let that one sink in

Love that ^^.

OP, I'm sorry people can't control their mouths. For some reason, being pregnant releases the dam of unnecessary commentary from society. (I am 9 months pregnant, and the comments NEVER stop!)

I think people are generally well meaning, but they still should keep their mouths shut! My sister in law has a philosophy that you never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see the baby's head or arm coming out of her. haha.

CrystalZ10 · 08-11-2011, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely

I remember reading some of the answers that people have retorted with when asked "When are you due?" My favorite was "Oh, about nine months from whenever I get pregnant." Takes people half a second to let that one sink in

I'll have to try that one sometime. lol

Quote:

tannaI think people are generally well meaning, but they still should keep their mouths shut! My sister in law has a philosophy that you never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see the baby's head or arm coming out of her. haha.

lol..thats a good rule.

I can look at a woman with a huge belly and I'd never ask when she was due. I let them say something first, and than get all happy and ask tons of questions afterward. But never before they say something. I don't want to be responsible for making someone cry.

Expunge · 08-11-2011, 10:35 AM

Wow. Even when I meet/talk to women who very obviously are quite pregnant, I never mention it unless they do first. It's just not polite to ask such intrusive questions, regardless of whether or not someone is or isn't pregnant! I also know how uncomfortable it makes me when people ask me overly personal questions, so I try to be curteous to others.

ade903 · 08-11-2011, 10:49 AM

When I was 16 or so (and those shirts were in that made even tiny women look pregnant...tight around the boobs, flows away from the stomach) I was in Vegas with my family. We were going on a ride in a hotel. The cashier said "You know you can't go on this if you are pregnant." She looked at me. I said "I'm not pregnant mom, are you?" That shut them up. People are rude.

DezziePS · 08-11-2011, 11:13 AM

OH man, this has happened to me, too. I always feel embarrassed, but I feel like THEY should be the ones who are embarrassed. Once it was a convenience store clerk, and I was so embarrassed and knew I would never see him again, so I just mumbled "in a few months" when he asked me when I was due! I figure it spared us both some embarrassment, but I shouldn't have spared him, I should've made him feel bad!

And, also, maybe I partially deserve it, because when I actually WAS pregnant and pretty skinny all over except for my GIANT belly, strangers would ask me when I was due and I would tell them, "I am NOT pregnant!!" and pretend to be indignant about it.

I *never* comment on even obviously pregnant womens' bellies, because if they *are* pregnant and then they mention it, I can say, "Oh, you look so good, I wouldn't have even known!"

bargoo · 08-11-2011, 11:46 AM

Ye, I have been asked that when I was not pregnant. I never, ever ask a woman if she is pregnant.

runningfromfat · 08-11-2011, 01:00 PM

I've also been asked. My problem is that the way I've lost weight really does make my look pregnant.

Recently I've lost a lot in my arms/thighs and the sides of my stomach so the remaining part of my stomach sticks out quite a bit, ugh! I definitely agree that some people project and there's just not much you can do about it.

I never ask unless someone else brings it up, MAYBE I would ask if I noticed someone wearing maternity clothes but even then I'd be scared.

FLChanti50 · 08-11-2011, 01:17 PM

:/ People just don't think... Personally, I dont even think it is polite to ask a stranger who is very obviously pregnant when they are due, etc... I hated those questions when I was pregnant. People should never make assumptions about anyone based on appearance. I'm sorry you had to experience ignorance at it's finest .