Jenn - I am so sorry to hear of the fight you have to try and fight the demon of bulimia. You CAN lose the weight without using purging though, believe me. I struggled with that in my teen/early 20's years, so understand the pull. Since those days, I have realized that I HAVE to do it the proper/healthy way and here is why: The weight is more than embarrassing, it's unhealthy... yet I only compound the problem with purging. Esophogus damage, deterioration, and stomach acid build up all are an unhealthy side effect to that "behavior" (as I got told it was)... so to curb one unhealthy problem, I was MAKING myself unhealthy... can you counter-productive? This is when I finally learned one of the true meanings behind the old saying "two wrongs don't make a right". I now have IBS which has reaked havoc on my system, stomach ulcers (which have finally gone dormant), etc which I have been told are a result of my "behavior" previously. You are not alone in this and it is tough to beat that urge to do it, but it is VERY possible. From a "been there" perspective, I will tell you that setting and reaching your first mini-goal is a great way to prove to yourself that you don't have to do that anymore. It is proof to yourself, that you CAN do this..and do it right! I also have to tell ya that I think you are amazing for being willing to step forward and reveal that about you... not easy to do at all... to this day, my husband doesn't know it was a hidden skeleton. Kudos to you for your first step!
|
