[FreeBird3]

I'm embarassed to even confess because I sound like a high school girl instead of a 30-something year old woman. My problem is that I get really shy when I'm slow dancing with a man that I find attractive. I find dancing (even if it's in a ballroom stance pose) with a man intimdating regardless of whether it's salsa, ballroom style, or whatever. I went out last night with some friends and we ended up in a lounge. A very handsome man approached me and asked me to dance. When he and I started to slow dance, I had a hard time letting him lead. I just can't seem to relax and let a man control my body movement on the dance floor. Perhaps it may have something to do with me being sexually abused by a relative when I was just a child. It doesn't help that I feel insecure about my body to begin with.

I want to take some dance lessons so that I can indeed let a man take the lead on the dance floor. I want to build up my sexual confidence. I was thinking about taking bellydancing classes; however I don't think that would help in terms of becoming comfortable dancing with a man. Any suggestions on what type of dancing I should sign up for?

[JollyGreenSteen19]

Preaching to the choir here!!!! I guess the only kind of dancing I've ever done is at a bar with a dance floor that plays pretty upbeat hip hop/dance music. And that was once. Bumping and grinding you know. I know how you feel, because on that floor I am just fine dancing with my girlfriends being silly, but dancing with other guys - I can't do it. My friends asked some guy to come dance with me and it was just an awkward experience the entire night. I just didn't feel like creating that intimacy. I think it would help to realize that if a guy wants to dance with you (unless you have rotten friends like mine who put up guys to approach you), he probably likes you - so that should boost your confidance. I have some intimacy issues due to similar situations you are describing, so I know it can be hard and uncomfortable when you have a past. I don't know if you're a drinker, but I know that even though I never drink in excess - a few loosen me up enough to the point that I feel good. Also, get yourself a pretty outfit, sexy shoes, something you are comfortable ina nd looks good I think what you should focus on is any partner dancing class. Belly dancing would increase your confidance as well. You can also do things like zumba - anything that will get you feeling more confidant with how your body moves.

[Jen516]

I think you're on the right track... find some classes in your area and practice. Practice dancing AND practicing being around men that way. It's a great low-key, no expectations, structured format for that. I don't think it really matters what type you go for... salsa or ballroom. Salsa might be a bit more sexually-charged, but it could also be more fun/hip/younger. Check out the classes and see what feels more comfy! Have a good time!

[GradPhase]

If you can salsa dance, you can ANY dance! Sexy, formal, all of it - because it's such a sexy formal dance, lol. I'd go with salsa