[usam]

I am usually on other pages but I do suffer from depression and anxiety so I thought I would post here today.
So, for years and years I have been been on diet after diet, exercise and all. I have lost weight and gained it all back, have had two healthy pregnancies and battled with my weight.
This year has been very very difficult. I remember sitting here last year this time worrying about two or three pounds and wishing I could loose them and now I think back and wish that was my only problem.
I am terrible at expressing myself but what I want to say is we have to stop worrying, stressing and allowing weight issues to take over our lives. I always said to myself that if I reached my goal my life would be perfect. I would be so happy and thin and wow things would be great. Boy was I wrong. I have reached my goal and trying to maintain but my life is in ruins. All the things I worried about have happened. Job loss, loss of loved ones, sadness, fighting. I wake up each day with so much weight on my shoulders and worry if I will get through the day but one thing I have not lost is my faith that things will get better. They have to right?
So I will take the wise words to "live for today for tomorrow may never come" to heart and live by them.
I'm not saying we should abandon our dreams I am just saying that we need to let go. Let go of the notion that if our weight was perfect our lives will be too.

[abetterme]

Just wanted to give you a
I know exactley what you mean. All my life I have been worrying about my weight. I stress about getting out of the 170's and always seem to self-sabotage myself. Weight loss is always on my mind, among a lot of other anxiety in my life. We really do need to just focus on being healthy and not worry about dropping our weight right this second. It would be better if we can just learn to live each day as best we can, and be happy we are making positive healthy choices, and that our body is thanking us for these choices.
Thank you for this thread, because I needed to remember that!

[DreamAngelsHeavenly]

I think your words may help many. Though I am quite the opposite. I knew my issues had nothing to do with my weight. When I was around 145 in high school my parents were blaming my shyness (social anxiety) on my weight... Which really wasn't bad... I love how everyone acts like weight loss will solve all of my problems... (actually this irritates me very much!!! ) But I know when I get to my goal that they will all still be there. Eek. Though I know I will gain a lot from this experience of accomplishing such a goal and working hard to achieve it-- I know that for sure... However, I don't think it is a fix it to all things. I know it is hard but try to keep your head up high and feel better.

[uwfan27]

Your post makes me think of a poem I read once when I was really struggling through a dark time of depression. It really got me through a lot of bad days. Maybe it will resonate with some of you, too!

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to
be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up
their minds to be."

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read
something that requires effort, thought and
concentration.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own
desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes,
and fit myself to it.

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I don't want to--just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not
show it

Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look
as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not
find fault with anything and not try to improve
or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not
follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will
save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective
of my life.

Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I
will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so
the world will give to me.

[usam]

Thank you to all for the responses. uwfan27 Thanks for the poem, it is beautiful and an inspiration. Yesterday was a very difficult day, I literally cried all day. I will take the words of the poem today and pray for a better today. I am a very rational person and know the basics but my Lord the last six months feel like somebody keeps hitting me with a hammer every time I poke my head out of the sand! I just want things to get better and "normal" but right now I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. No silver linning...

[GirlyGirl]

This is a post that hits home with me, in fact I was thinking along the same lines today before I read it. I have been through so much these past couple of years, but more so this year. Since last July until now, I had to move unexpectedly, gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, have experienced relationship issues and lost my mom suddenly (she was only 50, and my best friend). To say that this has been a turmultuous year for me would be an understatement. But I am trying very, very hard to pull myself out of the darkness, stop wishing I could be who I was years ago, and enjoy TODAY for what it is.

I was thin and beautiful as a teenager and until my mid-twenties. You would think I had it all, and had no problems. Only recently have I been this big. Because I have been on both sides of the spectrum, I can say with experience that being thin does not solve your problems. It does not guarantee a good life. However, I would rather live my life, problems and all, being thin and healthy, then being this big.

I am going to continue to pull myself out of the darkness of grief and depression, and into the light. My baby boy deserves that, and so do I.