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Old 06-01-2011, 10:18 PM   #1  
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Default Anyone not see their bodies clearly?

I'll try to explain what I mean. For many years I was thin and saw myself as a thin person. Even as I started putting on weight in my 30s, I still saw myself as slim and able to hide the extra pounds. As the weight continued to creep up, I still saw my thin self in my mirror, even though the scale said otherwise.

It wasn't until one day when I was walking past a large glass shop window and I saw my reflection and didn't recognize that the fat chick staring back was me - that I knew that I had no idea who I was anymore. Now it is the opposite - I see myself as completely obese. I always see myself as the largest woman in the room. It might not even always be true, but I have now internalized my identity as a fat chick. I see myself as heavy all the time.

I wish I had a sense of how I truly appear, but my appearance has changed so drastically over the past 7 years that I have no sense of self.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:14 PM   #2  
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I know exactly what you're saying. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I look pretty good, then see a picture of myself or notice my pant size has crept up to one bigger and feel horrible. I feel like no matter how I see myself, it's skewed.

I've tried looking up pictures of people about the same height and weight as me, but I can rarely identify with their shapes. I think it'll only be accurate when I've hit my GW and can stand next to people I see as thin or fit and see that I look like them too.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:36 PM   #3  
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I really relate to this kind of body dysmorphia, too. I see myself as much larger than I am, and always think I'm bigger than anyone else around me. Sometimes I go so far as to even feel like I've made up all of my weight loss and have to put on some old clothes to remind myself. It's really weird for me to look in the mirror or see pictures of myself, both are different experiences every time!
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:38 PM   #4  
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I feel the same way! For me, it can even vary from one day to another. I"ll have days when I'm clearly heavy and feel nice and slim and days when I'm slim and feel huge! I can have a day when I feel completely horrible and the next day, I may feel great about myself. I want to be realistic because dressing is a challenge, since I can hardly tell what flatters me and what doesn't! At least I'm not alone.
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Old 06-02-2011, 09:48 AM   #5  
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Yes fullofhope....body dysmorphia is the term I was looking for.

It feels good that other ladies can relate. I too have no concept of what kind of clothes look good on me. I can put an outfit on that I think looks slenderizing and ask my husband's opinion and he'll say, "Do you want the truth?" At that point, he can stop right there, because that is his way of saying the outfit makes me look fat. Alternatively, I can put on something else that I think makes me look huge, be about to take it off, and my husband will tell me how great I look in it. I used to have such a solid sense of what made me look good, but then, when you are thin, you can put on just about anything and make it look good - because it's you that looks good and not the outfit.
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:46 PM   #6  
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Guac-I have body image issues and sometimes the image is a good one and sometimes it's a bad one. After my initial loss last year and up until I put on about 6 pounds over 5 or 6 months, I felt absolutely wonderful. Saw myself as thin for the first time in forever. Lately I have felt HUGE. Even trying on my summer things and seeing them still fit me hasn't helped. It's weird and I don't know how to fix it.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:50 PM   #7  
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I look in the mirror and I always see a big girl..I know it is ridiculous but my head just can't grasp what I really look like. I feel like I have the biggest butt in the world. I very rarely look at myself naked in the mirror.
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Old 06-04-2011, 04:03 PM   #8  
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I have been very overweight my whole life. As a child I always knew I was bigger than all the other kids and coming from a family where everyone is extremely overweight I always struggled with depression and low self esteem because of so many reasons. I went through a phase of anorexia when I was 15 and dropped from 200 to 128 in the course of a summer. I was addicted to exercise and even still at my lowest weight I still felt and thought I was huge. Once I got away from my family and moved in with my now husband he made me feel so beautiful, something no one ever ever made me feel. Having that feeling and affection from him made me completely stop focusing on taking care of myself like I should have and here I am now 80 lbs heavier than when we got together, granted I had a child during this time but **** that was 6 years ago lol. I still felt like I was beautiful in a way until I started seeing myself in pictures and just couldn't believe it, and then I was disgusted with myself for letting myself get so big. So my goal to get this weight off is to get back the beautiful me that is still deep inside.
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Old 06-07-2011, 02:34 PM   #9  
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I have almost the opposite. For years, my mind's eye has seen me as much thinner than I am. I look in the mirror and of course, I see myself for what I am. It is just recently that I have begun to come to get phsycially uncomfortable with my weight, so my mind's eye sees reality now. It will be interesting to see what happens with weight loss.
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Old 06-08-2011, 10:29 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guacamole View Post
I can put an outfit on that I think looks slenderizing and ask my husband's opinion and he'll say, "Do you want the truth?" At that point, he can stop right there, because that is his way of saying the outfit makes me look fat. Alternatively, I can put on something else that I think makes me look huge, be about to take it off, and my husband will tell me how great I look in it.
I can COMPLETELY relate!! I know when I need to change into something else when I ask my husband or son (18) how something looks and one of them says "Is it comfortable?".. that's sort of our "code" phrase to let me know nicely that the outfit I've chosen isn't very flattering..
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Old 06-10-2011, 02:31 PM   #11  
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I was sitting in the waiting room at the clinic. Right in front of me was a large window. When I saw myself in the reflection, I thought I was going to die! To me, my weight gain was just a number attached to the inside of my jeans, in my mind, I was still that thin young girl in all the photos. Well, I knew I wasn't thin anymore (or young), but I had no idea it was that bad! Then I realized that it had been years since I had had a photo taken of me!!

I went out that day and bought a full lengh mirror for my bedroom. Seriously, that mirror has helped me stay motivated! Also, before I started my weight loss plan, I had my husband take full length photos of me from every angle.

Last edited by wabrouq; 06-10-2011 at 02:33 PM.
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Old 06-10-2011, 07:25 PM   #12  
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wabrouq - it looks like we have similar stats. Congratulations on your weight loss so far. I like how you have set up mini goals for yourself. Maybe we can share some tips and motivate each other, as we have similar goals!
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Old 06-10-2011, 08:34 PM   #13  
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So glad I found this thread....It's like were all related. Very similar experiences and I thought I was alone.

I was thin until about 8 years ago when I started gaining and ended up adding 60 lbs over a 6 month period. Then I was finally diagnosed with Thyroid disease which thankfully got under control but I was left with an unhealthy weight. I chipped away 20 lbs. little by little. Then I had my 2 children and my weight has just held on.

But through it all, my scale has said one thing while my mind sees something completely different. My mind's eye sees me as my "thin self". Then I walk by a full length mirror or a shop window and see my reflection...and I feel like I've been slapped in the face. I recognize my face and my clothes but I can hear myself say "that can't be my butt!".

I have explained this to my hubby before so I've been able to verbalize how I feel and my shock but I have never found anyone else who feels the same.

Thanks for posting. I feel better. I wish you all success (now and forever).
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Old 06-17-2011, 12:03 PM   #14  
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Default I can relate

It horrible I look in the mirror think yes these pants look good then someone takes a pic of me and Woah I looooook huge and of course you ask that person do i really look like that and they say Yes and then you are deflated.
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Old 06-17-2011, 01:01 PM   #15  
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Ladies...I am both glad and sorry that you can relate! For me, aside from the random glimpse of my fat rear end off of shiny surfaces glinting in the summer sun, the other thing that slaps me in the face with reality is going clothes shopping. Seeing sizes that once seemed huge to me not fitting over my thighs and tush....brutal! Realizing that I can no longer shop in regular sized stores? The worst kind of humiliation....
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