[racrane]

Hi everyone.

I don't always reply to threads as much but I do follow what's going on. This is really the first question I have. I have been very upset because no matter what I do, I have been gaining weight and not losing.

The last year I was put on antidepressants and the pill. Yeah, I know that contributed a little but my weight keeps going higher. I have had eating disorder issues in the past (okay, a lot) but I have been eating healthy and exercising normally again (I used to be obsessive). Anyway, my weight has crawled in the last two years from 130 to 180. I have lots of muscle, but my weight still has gone up. I weighed myself today and I'm 186. I'm quite upset because I don't know how I"m still gaining weight. My medications are stable. I see a dietitian and I'm doing all the right things. I exercise regularly. I have muscle!

So, I know if I see my doctors and they don't know what's going on, I have to deal with this weight for a while. I know I have to keep doing all the right things.

But my past mindset (which was very shallow and thin-obsessed) mixed with my desperation to lose this weight has been a brutal beating on me mentally. Do people have advice for this? I need comments and advice because my family is not being kind at all.

[Ferumbras]

First of all, take a deep breath and relax.

Secondly, no matter what you hear here, keep consulting with your doctors and dietitian.

Now, on to the very much layman's advice. I guess I'd start by asking if you're counting calories and tracking your food. If you're not, I'd recommend starting to do so (and I'd throw in there being diligent about measuring/weighing, not eyeballing). If you are already, maybe post a typical week's worth of meals for people to see to give you some thoughts on where you could tweak the diet?

Sorry I can't be more helpful. I know this can be really stressful. Hang in there!

[sacha]

Keep in mind that an eating disorder can cause metabolic havoc on the body. Have you seen any health professional that is experienced in dealing with patients who have had eating disorders in the past?

[racrane]

Ferumbras: I find that if I measure exactly, it tends to get obsessive. Having said that, I've worked with my dietician enough to know that I'm getting exactly what I need. Plus, I tend to eat "simple" foods that I know easily enough what it provides.

Sacha: I know it has wreaked havoc on my body. It's still recovering, even a year after I went into intensive therapy. However, I don't know why I've gained even 15 lbs in a year. I went from binging all day, eating no "nutritious" foods. Now I'm eating normal in my life for the first time. So I know that I have to take that into account.

I'm going to see my doctor again who specializes in recovering eating disorders and hope maybe I can get something valuable.

[bargoo]

You can eat normal, healthy food and gain weight. It all depends on how much you eat. It sounds to me like you are eating many more calories than you need.

[fitness4life]

Prayers for you, dear racrane! You are what is call "special population" in the fitness industry.

Normal standards and practices may not apply at all because of this. I think the above posters have given sound advice but I caution you to be leary of following anything suggested on the 'net.

Strictly stick to your doc's advice and if the advice is not giving you healthy results, tell them immediately that it's not and they need to spend more and better quality time caring for you.

As you know, eating disorders have little to do with eating. The disorder is in the psyche, and since this is a forum for dieting and not psychology, I hope you can get your answers from your doc.

Because the truth is, you cannot gain weight without eating more than you're expending (except occasional water retention). It's simple math. There must be something more going on.

Best wishes to you!

[uwfan27]

I’d echo what fitness4life has said; it's going to be really important to work with your doctors and dietician to find the right balance for you. I know from personal experience it can be immensely frustrating when you seem to be doing all the right things without getting the results you want. I went through about a year and a half of depression and anxiety and the medications I was put on were a part of the reason I gained 40 lbs. It took some trial and error to find the right medication and the right doctor who was willing to listen and work with me. I’d be happy to talk to you more about some of the specifics if you’d like.

Hang in there, it will eventually get better!

[racrane]

Thanks everyone for replying. I really do appreciate it! Uwfan27, I am interested in what you learned. Thanks, all!