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Old 05-19-2003, 11:48 AM   #6
Jennelle
WW on-line since 1/1/2009
 
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mississippi, USA
Posts: 2,332

S/C/G: see ticker

Height: 5'5"

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I've been trying to find a good place to post how I'm feeling this morning without starting a new thread, and I think this is the place.

I gained 4 lbs. this week. I'm not terribly surprised, but I didn't think it would be such a big gain. Then I looked back in my journal. Wow. For the week, I am 60 Points over - that's something like 3600 calories - or an average of 8.5 Points over per day. (I actually hit my Points goal two of the seven days.) I only exercised on Monday and Wednesday. I barely got my water in every day. So, it's no wonder I gained. And I am ANGRY! But the reason I'm angry has changed.

It used to be that I was angry because it wasn't fair that chunky men could be considered sexy but chunky women weren't given a second glance. It used to be that I was angry because I had to watch every single bite that went in my mouth but had a co-worker who was literally a size 0 who ate like a trucker. It used to be that I was angry because I had to work twice as hard to lose half the weight.

But this morning, I'm angry with myself - not the rest of the world. This weight gain? IT'S MY FAULT!! No one elses. No one forced me to eat that second hunk (because slice just doesn't describe the size of this baby!) of my daughter's birthday cake. No one else made the decision to just go on and eat four slices of pepperoni pizza instead of the WW pizza that I specifically bought for the occassion because I was over Points anyway. No one else made the decision to keep my fat *** on the couch watching reruns instead of going to the gym. All those decisions were made by me. They are my sole responsibility.

So today, my anger motivates me. I can either sit here and make pitiful excuses to myself, or I can value myself and live up to my self-promises.

Stepping off now...
__________________
Jennelle
270.8/215.0/199.8


mini-goals:
get out of the 230s by July 23rd: Met 7/23/2009
52 lbs. in 52 weeks (12/31/2009): Met 10/29/2009
Onederland:
180 (driver's license weight):
170.8 (100 lbs. lost):
160 (10 lbs to go!):
150 (final goal):
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