I firmly believe that I got to 300 pounds because I am addicted to sugar. I can not eat processed sugar in “moderation”. Eating one piece of cake will cause me to crave more and more sugar. Since I know this about myself, it seems that I would have enough sense to avoid the sugar.
During the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays, I started the “I should be able to eat anything in moderation.” line of thinking. *Sigh* How foolish of me. So I spent January trying to get rid of the sugar cravings and the weight that I gained in Nov/Dec.
February came. I went to take care of my parents when my father had surgery. The house was loaded with food that people from their church brought. I could not throw out their food. The time in the hospital was stressful and the hospital food court had plenty of junk food, so I excused my indulgences as “stress eating.”
I spent March trying to get off the remainder of the holiday weight and the February weight and getting rid of the sugar cravings.
April brought my father’s second surgery. Thinking that I had finally learned my lesson, I determined to avoid the sugar cravings by not eating the first bite. That was a good strategy and would have worked …… if I had followed it. I did well for the first 5 days but then decided that I could have that last piece of caramel cake because I was feeling “deprived”. That started me again. I take a little satisfaction knowing that I did much better than I did with the first surgery.
Now, I am back home and struggling with the cravings. I really want to eat sugar and high carb foods. The vending machine at work is calling my name. I know that I just have to hold on for a few days and the cravings will leave. To be honest, I am scared. I know that I can put back on all the weight that I have lost and more in a short period of time if I don’t get back in control.
So the best case scenario is that I get back under control and, in May and June, lose the 10 pounds that I have gained since the first of November. If that happens, I will lose, at least, half a year of what could have been weight loss progress. Worst case scenario is that I don’t get control again and continue to gain weight. I am going to have more trips to help my parents so, if I allow it, I could go through this again and lose even more time. I must get control and then keep it.
So the moral of my tale is that some of us just can’t take that first bite. I can’t be overconfident and have the “I have this weight loss thing beat” type of thinking. I can’t eat sugary items “in moderation.” “Comfort eating” may give momentary comfort but will result in longer struggle. I don’t “deserve” junk food. I do deserve a healthy life.
Cheryl - I'm so sorry to hear of the struggles you've had these past 6 months. Those are some tough ones for sure. You are doing a great job of acknowledging the addiction and being honest about your choices so good for you there!
Now, for the hard part (for all of us)...following through on what you know. Seems if sugar truly is an "addiction" for you, which it definitely sounds like it is, maybe some philosophies from NA and their 12-step program would help. Help you make it through the withdrawl process and fight the cravings better when you're in those high stress, away from home type situations. Just a thought.
Stay strong and remember to ackowledges successes when they come - no matter how little!
Cheryl, I could have written this - and for the same reasons. Only last winter it was me in surgery, and this spring it is my partner with cancer. Sugar is the bane of my existence...
I feel your pain. I also am addicted to sugar. I cannot have baked goods in the house at all or I will eat them until they are gone. It's a bitter pill to swallow. I feel so abnormal.
Moderation does not work for me with that kind of stuff at all.
Cheryl ~ Try not to look at the past 6 months as a failed effort in weight loss. Maybe you needed to have these 6 months to see what happens to your body with sugar and stress that way you'll be more aware of it in the future (as you are now) -- you are able to acknowledge that you are a sugar addict, so maybe this was just a time span needed to go through something. Don't look at it in a defeated way. You have done so well with your weight loss -- just brush your shoulders off and move on from here. You do deserve a healthy life, and that is most important.
If you crave sugar, you might actually be craving the vitamins and minerals contained in sugar cane and sugar beets. These nutrients are removed in the refining process. You may be deficient in these nutrients.
Molasses is made by refining sugarcane and sugar beets. During processing, sugar crystals are extracted leaving a dark, syrupy mixture.
If the molasses is from sugar cane grown in high quality soil, it can have an abundance of minerals like iron, calcium, and magnesium.
Blackstrap Molasses is the darkest color molasses you can get, and this indicates the presence of less sugar, and more nutrients.
Try taking a tablespoon of dark molasses daily to see if the sugar cravings go away. I take a spoonful every day and I feel much better now.
Just search the internet for 'health benefits of blackstrap molasses'.
I can have some sugar, although I am careful about when & where. I try and make sure the is only a single serving when I do indulge.
I wrote this in my blog this week..."I know what my limits are and I know what triggers me. I kinda feel like I have the fat Sandi with all her bad eating habits and "don't care" attitude finally safely locked in a closet at the end of the hall. And I am not even going to peek in the closet (aka try to tell myself I can have 2 slices of pizza) because I am afraid she's not dead, will knock me down and escape. Nope, I am not even going near that door, in fact, I am not going down that hallway."
So my trigger may not be sugar, but there are things that I simply can't have not because they don't fit into my plan, but simply because of the reaction they trigger when I have them. I am OK with living my life without some things so that I can maintain control.
I've often wondered how my grandparents -- who ate bacon and eggs virtually every morning LOL - stayed super slim and trim.... first off, they weren't lazy like ME, they did stuff morning til night... they also ate 3 meals and nothing in between... and more importantly, rarely ate sugar!
I've often wondered for people who feel they are sugar addicts -- is all the excess weight ONLY related to sugary foods??? Do they overeat 'real' food as well? if so, why?? Once they're 'off the white powder' does weight just fall off of them?? Are the behaviours & rituals of eating sugary foods as addictive as the product itself??
A Cautionary Tale
