[Eliana]

I'm finding myself in the dulldrums here lately and for good reason, but I'm tired of it.

Here's a real quick run down because while I feel like laying it all out there, I don't feel like dwelling on it. Besides, it sounds like a real bad country song and I'm not sure you'd all believe all this can really happen in one year.

My mom is dyeing, basically literally starving to death. (Gastro-paresis) When she's not unintentionally dyeing she's threatening to speed things along on her own. My brother is a severe alcoholic and though he's been sober a month now his last bout turned him green. His liver is shot and I worry terribly about losing him. I am getting a divorce. While I was relaxing in FL I learned my grandpa suffered a stroke and wasn't discovered for four hours. In the past seven days he has had the stroke (with no response to anything), contracted an infection, aspirated and now has pneumonia and had a mild heart attack. Goodness. My husband officially moved out the day before Easter which was harder than I expected considering I WANT this and he's been living at his parents since mid-January. It shouldn't have affected me. AND, while visiting sunny FL my dad informed me that my mom cheated on him not just the one time I knew about but twice! So once when I was ten and again when I was 12 with my band director. It was the second one I knew about.

So, I'm in the dumps and trying to pull myself out of it. I don't like being down, but I suppose it's normal to be. When you feel like this, it kind of feels like life is never going to get any better. I do notice that when I have something to look forward to I do better. Evenings are great because I look forward to the gym the next morning. (That in itself is sick! LOL!) Fridays are bad because I don't have the gym to look forward to. I look forward to going on hikes with a group or outings with friends. Accomplishing household tasks makes me feel good.

But you shouldn't have to WORK at happiness, right? Shouldn't you just BE happy? I usually am.

The real purpose of this thread, is What Makes You Happy? I used to love to randomly say "Happiness is ______" and I'd fill in the blank with "snow on my eyelashes" or "the sound of the creek" or "baby giggles".

Have I rambled enough?

What makes you happy?

[SCraver]

Originally Posted by Eliana

But you shouldn't have to WORK at happiness, right? Shouldn't you just BE happy? I usually am.

I have a theory... I don't think anyone gets to be happy for free. I think some people have to work hard for it and the rest of us have to fight for it.

I am sorry about all you are going through... it sounds like you ahve a great attitude, though - looking for the little things that make you happy.

Things that make me happy:
- Coloring with my 2 yr. old son
- Clean sheets
- Flowers popping up in my garden
- New songs downloaded off iTunes
- A jog outside in the sun listening to the tweety tweety of little birds

[Eliana]

I think part of my problem is that I have always been the kind of person who just IS happy. I've never had to work at it and I know I can get back to that.

Clean sheets! I like that one! I could be like Oprah and have fresh new sheets every day! Of course, that would have to come with a maid.

[Scarlett]

Basically you cannot find happiness by looking for it. Theres a quote I like

"The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness."
Eric Hoffer

Everyone goes through times like this where life just seems too hard. I'm not a religious person but I like the idea that God never gives you more than you can handle.

Do your best to accept and deal with what is happening. Engaging in pleasurable activities in an attempt to cover up what you are feeling will only make things worse. Try not to think of yourself as a victim, think instead this is life and I will get though it. Therapy would probably be a good idea. The best thing you could do is try and manage your feelings on a moment to moment basis. Try to stay as positive as possible.

Hang in there chica, good luck

[joyfulloser]

Reading my Bible makes me happy...gives me something to look forward to (other than pain, sufferring and death)

Sorry to hear about the rough time your having....hope things get better for you soon.

[nationalparker]

Find something that you can do for someone else that is appreciated. Plan making some May flower baskets that you can leave unnoticed and make others feel special. It's hard not to feel good when you're doing for others.

[Aunty Jam]

Watching my dogs antics make me happy... he's a happy go lucky puppy in an 8 year old dogs body. He's always doing crazy things and making us laugh.

[fatferretfanatic]

A warm ferret or four! Knowing I'm smaller, losing weight, seeing friends are all things that make me happy

[sisypheanme]

snuggling with my weenie dog makes me happy!

[ilidawn]

Wow, that's so much to be going through right now. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much and I know how hard it is to see your mom starving to death (my mom had an unexplainable tumor in her jaw and she lost over a 100lbs before her heart failed in hospice)...it's a terrible thing to see *hugs*.

On the topic of what makes me happy..hmm, I'd have to say my pets even though it seems like they spend all day annoying the **** out of me lol. I wish I got happy with the idea of working out (I get wiped out just thinking of it most days lol).

[XLMuffnTop]

I also am sad you're going through all of this. Sometimes you have to go through a serious hard, dark spell before it finally starts to turn in your favor. Maybe better times are just around the corner.

Things that make me happy:
1. Random hugs from my kids
2. Smell of a book (although lately I've been favoring the Kindle)
3. A glass of wine on the patio with my feet propped up - usually with #2
4. A good soak in a bath, then painted toenails, wax, exfoliate, etc. I'm not overly girlie but when I'm down, being fufu picks me up.

I hope things get better. Just keep hanging on and enjoy the little things.

[JoJoJo2]

I'm just happy to be alive. . . . .

Life is good, enjoy!!!

[fattymcfatty]

My 2 year old daughter.
My husband.
My parents.
My pets.
A clean house! A good movie! A good book!
Wine! (Although I don't drink as much due to the calories, but indulge now and then)

[VermontMom]

(ilidawn and Eliana, I just lost my mom on the 15th, she had starved herself almost to death because she could not eat but didn't go to a doctor)

Eliana, you have a unheard-of bunch of bad, sad things happening around you now!! if you are usually a happy person then I am SURE with time (a few days?) you will feel a little better.

may I tell you that you inspired me to stick to OP eating for weeks now, with your 'commitment' thread?

And when I am not 'down' due to seasonable depression, things that make me happy are - riding my motorcycle; sitting on the deck, looking at and smelling the freshly mown lawn; clothesline-dried sheets; thinking of Simpsons references at the same time as my husband; getting compliments about my work. Oh and agree with Aunty Jam watching our dog being silly

[supergir111]

A clear night sky and a full moon
The ocean, I wish I could live by it
Greenery, landscapes, trees. I love the countryside and things like ancient ruins covered in plant life.
I think nature really makes me happy and being outside.
Sorry mine is kind of weird, going to the cinema also makes me happy