I've been a binger since I was 7 years old (19 now, so 12 years). That being said, I've come a long way and would no longer eat an entire pizza in one sitting.
However, when I've lost weight in the past (I was never a yo-yo dieter but my weight has fluctuated a good 10-15 pounds in the last 4-5 years due to my inability to get a handle on external/internal life pressures and etc... nothing to do with healthy eating, just coping.)
ANYWHOO. In the past, I have lost weight quite easily...even with a binge here and there. Like, every few weeks I'd overeat and I'd feel so guility but I'd still always lose weight as long as I made an effort. So you could say that the binges were planned in a sense..I'd think to myself "It's been a few weeks, I've been good, I'll eat whatever I want tonight."
So last night I was kind of in this mentality and went into the kitchen around 11pm after a day of healthy eating and exercising. I fixed myself some peanut butter and jelly on toast and a good sized bowl of tortilla chips and melted cheese.
I didn't enjoy it. Not one bit. I wasn't trying to make myself stop - I still have not been able to walk away from a binge - but it wasn't "fun", (Is it weird that I consider binging fun?) and it wasn't satisfying.
So I went to bed and today I went right back on track with healthy eating and exercising again - with almost no guilt..usually the next day I stumble a bit and resent myself but today..nope.
Point of this thread: Does this constitute as progress? At what point did you realize you had really begun to get a handle on your eating?
Last edited by summerlove; 03-01-2011 at 11:19 PM.
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I have never had much to loose...its always been 10-20 lbs. and until I got it in my head (recently) that itsthose last 20 that bother me...I haven't really stuck to any diet. I would come home after a perfect day and just pick up stuff to put in my mouth for no reason at all. I didn't enjoy it either and felt guilty afterwards. People have been ellig me all my life that I don't need to lose weight and I think my unconscious beleived that...so everytime I had small successes...I sabotaged them. It's the small goals that will get me through this and possibly at major goal for the end. Also, I have learned not to listen to people and what they say about my weight. I don't go tothem for reinforcement ...I use this site to get me through my bad times. Only people like us really understand what we go thru everyday. hang in there..yes success to realize that you want to change. Just do it!!!
First of all, it's ok that you sometimes consider binges fun. I used to, too. I would plan and look forward to them. However, at the end of the binge, I realized they were not so fun. But what's important now is that you keep going. Yes, it's a relapse in my book, anyway. Try to journal what leads up to the binge. For me, I saw patterns in that I was lonely, hadn't been eating so well in the last few days, was arguing with someone, etc. Finding patterns in how I approached a binge helped to steer clear of it. Hope this helps!
That was an awakening. Progress comes when you remind yourself each time you are tempted EXACTLY how you thought and felt when this awakening occurred. When these dots are connected, you will find that you have learned to make choices that are truly your own and not a "should" thing.
I'd like to caution that this urge to binge may never completely dissapear. Weight loss does not cure it, better eating habits don't cure it...only taking the time to acknowledge it, see it for what it is and making a choice about it, does it dwindle in power.
That was an awakening. Progress comes when you remind yourself each time you are tempted EXACTLY how you thought and felt when this awakening occurred. When these dots are connected, you will find that you have learned to make choices that are truly your own and not a "should" thing.
I'd like to caution that this urge to binge may never completely dissapear. Weight loss does not cure it, better eating habits don't cure it...only taking the time to acknowledge it, see it for what it is and making a choice about it, does it dwindle in power.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom Martinimouse.. i can relate
I'd like to caution that this urge to binge may never completely dissapear. Weight loss does not cure it, better eating habits don't cure it...only taking the time to acknowledge it, see it for what it is and making a choice about it, does it dwindle in power.
I was going to say the exact same thing!!!
I've been a binger for most of my life. I have only recently stopped binging completely (146 days ago. lol) With that came many feelings of strength but like Martinimouse said, the feelings don't ever completely go away. They are right there bubbling under the surface. BUT when I have those feelings, I FEEL them now instead of trying to bury them with food and by allowing myself to feel the feelings, I am able to talk myself back to reality and realize that binging will not solve what I am upset/stressed about.
It's not easy but as any learned behavior, it gets easier.
Get yourself some protein shakes and drink them when you are in the need to bing, fill it up with fruit so that you are so darn full that nothing else could fit. Having only healthy things around like fruits and veggies helps. If you don't have the chips and pbj around you can't get to it so easy. Clean house of all the things that will add to the high calories. Keep a journal and look for the trigger signs and have a hmr shake before or when it happens so that you have that as your comfort item.
That was an awakening. Progress comes when you remind yourself each time you are tempted EXACTLY how you thought and felt when this awakening occurred. When these dots are connected, you will find that you have learned to make choices that are truly your own and not a "should" thing.
I'd like to caution that this urge to binge may never completely dissapear. Weight loss does not cure it, better eating habits don't cure it...only taking the time to acknowledge it, see it for what it is and making a choice about it, does it dwindle in power.
What a fantastic response. I always expect a magical solution, or may even hae weeks of being mindful, but if I ever get too complacent it always catches me out when a trigger ie stress boredom depression comes along!
summerlove: Thanks for starting this thread & drawing out the insightful posts! Congratulations on moving forward without self-reproach. My 2 cents is that you ARE making progress. One thing I would offer from the other side of 30 yrs old (I'm 60) is that it won't always be easy to lose weight. As the years add, our metabolism naturally slows and it takes more time & effort to lose. So you are extra smart to be tackling this early in the game!
summerlove, I am in awe of your maturity and candor. I read so much of myself in your post and yet when I was your age I didn't even a fraction of the insight that you have. I'm now in my late 30s and just now coming around to getting a handle on my binge eating disorder but I am confident that if you continue to be self aware that you will overcome this painful disease faster that all of us.
my weight has fluctuated a good 10-15 pounds in the last 4-5 years due to my inability to get a handle on external/internal life pressures and etc... nothing to do with healthy eating, just coping.) That is indeed a revelation. Furthermore I urge you not to think of binging as a disgusting compulsion, instead think of it indeed as the loving actions of a person who is trying to take care of themselves in the only way they know how to. Using food to cope with stress or to make yourself feel better is not a BAD thing, it's just the wrong thing to do. It's like applying peanut butter to a broken arm - peanut butter is nice and all but it will probably do nothing to heal your broken arm. Don't hate the peanut butter is all I'm saying, food will not destroy you, you have just have to find a better way to cope with stress.
I'd think to myself "It's been a few weeks, I've been good, I'll eat whatever I want tonight." Typical behavior caused by dieting. Dieting can be so restrictive sometimes that it kind of winds up to crave a release form all the restriction. Even if you chain yourself to Brad Pitt at some point you'll want to wack those chains off lol. Restrictions also rely on willpower, which is the most unreliable source of energy I can imagine.
I didn't enjoy it... it wasn't "fun", (Is it weird that I consider binging fun?) and it wasn't satisfying. Because ultimately it doesn't make the problems go away. It's just transferring the problems over to food. Not it's not weird, binging can have the same effect on a person as alcohol or drugs of any kind.
So I went to bed and today I went right back on track with healthy eating and exercising again - with almost no guilt..usually the next day I stumble a bit and resent myself but today..nope.
Point of this thread: Does this constitute as progress? At what point did you realize you had really begun to get a handle on your eating? Anytime we evaluate our actions and see them for what they are constitutes progress. I'm oldish, and I'm only just beginning to enjoy eating.
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"Disappointing" binge
