I'm going to be blunt here
Quote:
Originally Posted by nelie
|
I also recommend this thread. I have a post in there that makes the recommendation, but I'm going to repeat it here.
The Amplestuff website or the ones MariaMaria mentions. You can find hygiene and other personal care items, designed for people with mobility and reach issues, including very obese folk. A website is going to be a more palatable choice than a way,way too-personal gift from mom.
I would tell your son that you noticed the problem, and I would give him the website addresses for the personal care resources, but under no circumstances would I suggest that you make the washcloths youself. I can't imagine anyone considering that a "thoughtful gift." Special-use, intimate personal hygiene supplies are far too personal and mortifying a gift to receive from anyone and doubly so (and creepy to boot) to receive from Mom.
I wasn't at all offended when someone recommended the site to me, but I would have been offended as **** if someone (and doubly so if it was Mom) had decided to make personal care products for me. It sends the message "I don't consider you adult enough to handle the responsibility of personal hygeine without assistance." Double and triple "Ewww."
When someone recommended Amplestuff to me (another large person). I was grateful, but if the person had bought me soap or special washing aids, as if I couldn't be trusted to find a solution for myself - yeah, that would cross a line and I'd be as offended as **** (and creeped out for life if it was my Mom or Dad).
At my most disabled, I did have to make a washing cloth, but I just cut a beach towel lengthwise into three wide strips. Those were my new washcloths.
I had sewing skills and could have finished the edges, but I didn't. I just used scissors. They worked fine, and no one but me needed to know.
Your son will figure it out for himself as well. Seeing the catalog's supplies, he'll either order them, or fashion some for himself.
To use the "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink," analogy - making him washcloths unrequested, is a bit like pouring water down the poor horse's throat.
It will be embarassing enough without having to add another layer of shame. Tell him about the problem, but let him come up with the solutions for it. It's what you'd do for an adult child in any other problem situation (I would hope).
Offer input, but let the solution be in his control.