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Old 02-17-2011, 07:48 PM   #1
Big Miss Sunshine
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Outside Onederland
Posts: 489

S/C/G: 280/See Ticker/175

Height: 72.5"

Default I'm scared and don't know if it's okay to ask for help

I'm starting a new job next week. I'm thrilled because it is a big upwards move from my previous position. Here's the problem:

My main office is in a lovely building on the first floor with a window (again, I'm thrilled). While I am in the orientation period I will be shadowing someone in another facility. It is much further away, but I can stand the longer drive for a month. The thing is . . . it is a very old, tall building and there is a creaky, dark elevator I have to use. I am SCARED TO DEATH of elevators and I can't ride in one alone. I can't even ride in one unless there is someone I trust with me (that is because with panic attacks there is the fear one may "go crazy" or pass out). I asked about the stairwell and was told it is for emergency egress (what, no ingress?).

I want to tell the person I'll be working with that I have pretty bad claustrophobia and I'd just like her to help me out by coming with me in the morning and evening from the office to the lobby. I did this for years when I worked in a very tall building in my 20s (the security guard was a sweet guy and after a week I didn't have to ask - he'd see me coming and ask if I wanted company!)

I have a lot of shame in this phobia. I say to myself "what is wrong with you! You're abnormal and fat and why would anyone want to help you!" I don't know - if someone asked me for that kind of help I wouldn't think twice. I would do it.

Is it possible to be a professional, competent woman and still need to ask someone for help like this? I am so torn. I have been living with panic attacks (living in spite of them, actually) and I have overcome a lot in my life. I went from being pretty much home bound to graduating college and getting (and keeping) pretty good jobs.

Any advice or opinions welcomed and appreciated.

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