[Cali Doll]

So, I'm battling my latest 10 pound gain (actually 11 pounds as of this morning - I hate you scale).

I was in class for work during the month of January. I went into the class at about 161 or 162 pounds and feeling fantastic. I ended the class at 170 pounds and feeling like crap.

I didn't prepare my meals for class and I went crazy like a kid in a candy store during the entire month. Each lunch during class was straight high-caloric garbage and all my doing. Then I became addicted to eating that way...and I'm just now finding the strength to wean myself off of those crappy foods.

Lesson Learned: I can't play with fire w/o getting burned.

Anyway, I'm working out regularly again and I've just recently recommitted. I KNOW this weight will come off. It has to. I feel horrible at this weight.

The reason for this thread, though, is to talk about a feeling I had last night. I tried on a pair of jeans at home (size 12 - my 160 pound size is size 10...so yeah.) and they were tight. They were fresh out of the wash but still it was crushing to me. My fat pants were tight!! Then my immediate thought was, "OMG, this is so depressing! I want to eat." I actually had to stop myself from going to the kitchen.

I couldn't believe how immediately my mind went to food in order to soothe the pain I felt from my jeans being tight. It was scary!

But, I'm happy for the realization so I can be aware the next time.

The scale said 171.8 this morning but it's pre-TOM and I'm extremely sore from 30 Day Shred. Even though I felt that depression when I stepped on the scale this morning, I CANNOT give up. I know for certain that if I stay on plan, I can get to 160 again.

Thanks for listening!

[AZ Sunrises]

Think about the willpower and determination it's taking to stop at a 10 lb gain. I personally find that absolutely amazing.

[luckymommy]

Hi Cali Doll. Thank you so much for your support on my thread from the other day. I also wanted to tell you how much I can relate. I feel extremely bad. I ended up binge eating again last night. I was doing so well all day long and then at night, something in my brain snapped. It's amazing how different I look after just a few days of binge eating. Yesterday was the third day. I want to do this. I hope you and I can reach our goals. I haven't had the nerve to weigh myself, but I really should. You are so brave for weighing and so amazing to realize that you don't want to comfort yourself with food. I remember last night, I had this little pause moment. I could have made a choice. I chose to binge. As I was doing it, I remember not understanding. There was the initial binge. Then, there was the post binge binge. It's where I feel terribly guilty for a terrible binge and I stuff my feelings with more and more food. I'm so sick in the head when it comes to food. People just don't understand....they ask me why I can't just eat in moderation. I try to explain that it's like asking an alcoholic to drink in moderation. It just doesn't work for me. I'm so glad you posted and that you've recommitted yourself. I'm semi-hijacking your thread to say that I will do the same. I'll think of you today and know that you and I are doing this together. Getting into the low 160's so that we can reach our goals.

[newbieblogger3]

Luckymommy - been where you're at many times -please check out the "chicks in control" thread -there's lots of recently posted threads about ways to curb bingeing (some of which I added some tips that have really helped me).

Hope you find the strength to "slay the bingemonster!" Good luck Cali and LM

[stacygee]

I can relate too. As a mother and a wife I am always trying to make others feel better. I am lost in the shuffle and would use food as my reward to help mee feel better... gaining so much weight only made me feel worse though. Nothing has felt better then feeling like I am gaining control of my body again. The only problem is when those "automatic" eating habits come around...especially when needing comfort.

Thanks for the forum to share those feelings.

[Cali Doll]

Thanks everyone! I love the support on this forum...you all are wonderful!

Luckymommy, your post made me tear up. :-) I'm thinking of you today, too. I completely understand what you are going through. If we find ourselves being tempted today, lets just try to think about how we'll feel afterward...let's focus on that crappy post-binge feeling before we take that first bite. Maybe that'll help.

**HUGS**

[30 Fat Still Awesome]

You can do it!! Look at what you've already done - wow that's amazing! Keep it up girlie!