How to respond to spouse when he says something negative about appearance
Hi all,
So every once in awhile, my hubby will say something bad about my *ahem* aging face like: this lighting is bad for you, you're starting to get your granny's lower jaw, blah,blah, wrinkles, blah, blah, sagging skin, etc.
I just want to tell him to stfu , but I should handle it better than that, right?
Is he trying to be funny, making off-handed remarks, etc? Is he normally dense about social interactions (like it's inappropriate to make certain comments)? Or is he trying to be mean/a jerk? How he's saying it changes my answer.
If he's normally socially dense go with the above "that hurts my feelings." If he's joking, I personally am an eye for an eye type of girl, and would make a "joke" about something he is particularly sensitive about. Then ask how he likes it? If he's doing it in a hurtful manner...there are bigger issues to deal with.
A punch in the face would be appropriate to me...lol
Two ways, go about it saying he hurt your feelings and he needs to STFU, or make a rude remake back about his looks and see how much he likes it.
I don't think you need to handle it better, I think you need to be just as blunt and rude as he is to you to get the hint...but that's just me.
Maybe tell him that you are both aging at the same speed and you still love him with the huge bags under his eyes LOL. On a serious note just tell him that he is hurting your feeling and that aging is a natural process that we all go throught. Then tell him to stuff it
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
I don't know him. So I would repeat what I heard and verify.
"I just heard you call me old and ugly. Is that really what you meant to say?"
If that's what he meant to say, then you can go right ahead with STFU!
If he's trying to say "You are so cute! All the women in your family are cute! Even up to your granny!" then teach him to say it the way you want to hear it. Not in this bungled fashion.
"gee, it's nice to hear you still find me attractive, dear. how's that hemmroid? remember when you used to be able to go all night? those were the good old days."
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
I like this response too.
He's your husband, not your enemy. Tell
him how his comments make you feel.
oohh..let me tell you, making sure other guys *notice* you is an absolutely EXCELLENT plan of action..I wouldn't tell him about other guys..I would just make sure he sees other guys having a look your way time to time...and be sure to be oblivious to the attention! With your stats it really shouldn't be hard!
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 02-01-2011 at 07:29 PM.