I certainly don't think any of you that are maintainers have a obligation to stick around, but know that once I get there, I will. Just like someone with substance abuse problems benefits from attending meetings regularly, even when they are sober, coming to this forum and talking to other like-minded people will only help me stay on my path. There are so many people in my life that are just unhealthy in general, either not eating in a healthy way, or not exercising, or both. Its nice to have a place to come where I don't feel so extraordinary, if that makes sense - somewhere that reminds me that this is what people are SUPPOSED to be doing.
The way I see it is, this web site has been up and running successfully long before I came on board, and I'm sure it will continue to be successful if for some reason I leave, (or banned lol ).
I stick around because when I first started here a big losing, long time maintainer welcomed me with open arms. She was my mentor in a sence and I wanted to be like her... (as in a big losing, long time maintainer). I really can't say for sure if I would be where I am today without her, (even though she no longer posts here). I miss her posts terribly. I kind of feel like if I can help one morbidly obese fat chick...even one, onto the right path than my mission is accomplished.
I'm not an 'official' maintainer because I am (again) working on losing weight I've been on these boards for 10 years? I've been maintaining my current weight for 3 years and the 3 years prior to that I was losing to get where I'm at now.
Personally, I've seen a lot of threads and yes themes repeat, especially during the new year which is where we are at now. I would say though that if anyone stays out of some feeling of obligation, then they are staying for the wrong reasons.
I have stayed because it is good for me and I have a lot of friends here. I also know the struggle that those who have been where I am at and want to encourage those that feel helpless and hopeless. So that is why I am here.
Absolutely not!! BUT it really helps us who are not there yet.
I look at you guys in awe and envy...you did it. -- I am just at the beginning of my journey, and coming here, and reading posts and asking silly questions help me stay away from the pantry and fridge. -- My ex neighbor had a drinking problem, and she went to rehab and later on she maintained her course at home; what helped her...AA meetings, early on she would go to a meeting up to 10 times a day. Now 10 years later, she is still sober.
So I look at this place as my food AA. I know I am not alone. This is far easier than getting into my car and finding over eaters anonymous. Every time I feel like slipping, I sit down by my computer and read posts and gives me strength to go on.
I think there's a separate post to talk about what a maintainer is -- I've been taught here at 3fc that if you've lost a pound and kept it off, you're a maintainer! I also believe that having the attitude of a maintainer while losing is very helpful...
But as to the question of the thread, I don't stick around because of obligation either. Being here helps remind me of all kinds of things about this journey that help me. So I guess there's a selfish motivation there!! But I also enjoy (selectlvely) responding to threads that catch my eye. Some days I have a lot of time, others not so much, so I do what I can when I can.
I also get a lot of pleasure on the mod side of things as well!
I don't think there is any obligation to post. Do it if you want to, don't do it if you don't want to.
Personally, I no longer post anywhere except the Living Maintenance forum. The support forum was great when I was losing, but now it's just all old hat. I admit I do get a bit peeved when the same questions are posted over and over here on the maintainers forum too (which is why I suggested stickying one of the "how many calories do you maintainers eat?" threads, which we get every couple months). I think if we can sticky all the common questions, maybe it will help reduce the burden of answering the same questions over and over.
I keep posting because it keeps me thinking about my weight. If I stopped posting, I'd stop thinking about it so much, and I'd probably gain. I also feel like I have a lot of friends here and I really like the community. If I can help someone out it's a bonus, but I spend enough time just replying to threads here so I'm not going to take up more hours of my day just to say "You can do it!" to every person who says, "I'm scared, I can't do this." I'm glad there are other people out there who are willing to make those posts, because I do think they need to be made.
There's nothing new under the sun and there definitely are themes that are posted over and over. No one person at 3FC is obligated to respond to every or even most posts. Like Saef, I respond to the ones that catch my eye for some reason or another. Lots of people have valuable things to say, and honestly some of the people who inspire me the most on 3FC are not "official" maintainers. In fact, they may or may not have even lost a significant amount of weight. But they are here, trying, everyday. We can learn from each other at all stages.
There is a season to everything. Lots of people come and go here at 3FC. There is no obligation. Take what makes sense to you, leave the rest. Reply to something if it is interesting or meaningful.
Like others have said, I don't know about 'obligation' -- but I think it's good for everybody. I haven't been here in too long. I thought I didn't have time and then once you get out of the habit ... but see, coming here was so linked to my losing the last 50+% of the weight I lost, and I don't want to get out of any other habits, either. I think it's good for me to take the time to come here more, keep the issues close at hand.
After I work out, when I'm eating my Chobani yogurt, that used to be my definite time to come on here, as well as whenever else I had a little bit of time. The people who are losing, I don't 'know' most of you, especially newer ones of the last few months, if you're reading this ... but in a way you are close to my heart.
For the record, I personally like to pay it forward in every aspect of my life. If I saw a thirsty person and I had water, I would share it. When I came here, I had been eating Lean Cuisines for several months and was ready to chew my arm off. The knowledge 3FC'ers changed my life. I love sharing what I know and even now, I will read about something I didn't know on a somewhat regular basis.
p.s. Beyond that, coming back to the boards is similar to my exercise or nutrition. It helps me stay focused and on track. Statistically, people that are surrounded by a support system, fair better in weightloss than others who are not.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 01-25-2011 at 02:14 PM.
I hate the word obligation...to me, it implies drudgery. I stick with 3FC, continue welcoming newbies, and continue answering a lot of the same questions because I really enjoy it. Also, there is a definite element of paying it forward...3FC is and was so helpful to me, and I want it to be helpful to everyone else. In fact, I so enjoy and respect this place that I devote quite a few hours on the mod-side, keeping it clean, spam-free, and supportive. The fact that it keeps me on track is a great bonus, too.
I don't have enough time and energy to respond to every post, but I'm reading A WHOLE LOT to ensure posts are within the rules and that questions are being answered. I remember what it was like when I joined, and how I was immediately welcomed and my questions answered (by my now co-mod, Junebug!). It got me to stick around, and we all see where that led. So I don't mind the repetitive questions, the January intro floods, etc. I'm just grateful that people found us, and hopeful that they can use this place to achieve their goals.
I love this response!!
Yes hearing from maintainers keep alot of us around b/c it is definitely motivating to see others who have done it and able to maintain what they've lost.
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I've been on these boards for 10 years? I've been maintaining my current weight for 3 years and the 3 years prior to that I was losing to get where I'm at now.
