[spixiet]

I started my weight loss journey at the end of August by cutting calories and going to the gym on occasion. Over the next month or two, my food choices shifted so that I was largely eating only meals I'd prepared myself with huge amounts of fruits and veggies, at least compared to how I was previously eating. Most days I was eating between 1100-1300 calories, and I was fine with that. However, I stopped working out from the end of October until this week. I started the C25K running program this week and started adding in bits of easy yoga, and I realized that I needed to up my calories in order to have the energy to workout, so I've been eating 1400-1600 for the past 5 days. I'm still eating tons of fruits and veggies, and I'm eating a lot of small meals each day. I feel full all the time. At the beginning of my dieting, this would have been a joyous thing, but now it's actually a bit of problem. Feeling full makes me feel like binging It's weird and counter-intuitive, but for me, the sensation of fullness seems to make me want more in order to reach that feeling of numbness that binging provides... especially if I'm feeling less than ecstatic about anything else in my life.

To make matters more confusing for myself, I've put my scale away until January 3rd. I really, really want to be able to jog/run for 30-45 minutes straight. My hope is to reach this goal by June. However, whenever I start exercising, my weight loss tends to stall for at least a week, if not longer. I kept using this as an excuse to procrastinate on starting C25K, so I decided to track my calories meticulously (seriously, I weigh pretty much every tiny thing I put in my mouth) and put the scale out of reach for at least two weeks, giving my body time to adjust to the changes before I weigh in again. I figure that the scale is just another tool in this journey, and if it's not helping me reach all my goals, then maybe it needs to take a little vacation. Feeling full all day, eating more calories (although I should still lose on this amount), feeling sore, feeling like binging, and not having any reassurance from the scale - as well as a bit of loneliness exacerbated by the holiday season - well, it's making me feel a little bit crazy... Although, on slightly odd side note, it does make me bizarrely happy when I log my foods into nutritiondata.com, and I can see the huge amounts of vitamins, minerals, fiber, etc that I'm consuming each day -

Anyways, I'm just putting this out there - a way to journal my thoughts. If any of you happen to have any words of wisdom or reassurance, I'd love to hear them. I'm definitely committed to pushing through my current ennui, and hopefully, come January 3rd, I'll get a little reassurance that I'm doing well...or I'll have made some progress towards my fitness goals at least

p.s. for some reason, using the word ennui in this post made me smile...I know, I'm a freak

[lottie63]

If I eat over 1500 I'm pretty much guaranteed to binge.



You are eating a lot of 'food' stuff, maybe add your cals in different ways (peanut butter, oil, nuts, seeds) it's high cal but you aren't actually eating a bunch.

[The Last Noel]

Ok I'm very new here so maybe this is a stupid question but what is C25k?

Despite the problems you are having, at this point in MY journey you sound like an inspiration to me!

[spixiet]

Noel - C25K is short hand for Couch to 5K. It's a program you can find online that basically lays out 9 suggested weeks of "running" workouts...starting with short intervals of jogging vs. walking and then gradually increasing running time. You can spend more than one week at each level if you need to.
And thanks Honestly, with the exception of the emotional confusion the last couple days, this is the first time in my life that I feel like I'm doing this right, as in, I'm doing this in a way that is sure to lead to success~

Lottie63- thanks for the suggestion. I didn't even think of it I stopped eating peanut butter, and only ate nuts and seeds in very limited quantities when I was aiming for 1100-1300 or so because it was so calorie dense, it never helped me feel full. Now that I'm having the reverse problem, it's incredibly logical to incorporate more nuts and seeds to avoid the "full" trigger response~

[PinkHoodie]

Are you eating a lot of salt? Are you drinking LOTS of water? Are you having regular trips to the bathroom? I wonder if you have bigger meals and no snacks if that would help. Also eating dinner earlier in the evening. This is kind of weird though! I usually only feel full all the time if I am eating a lot of horrible food....especially salty foods. I just wanted to throw some suggestions out there, I'm not sure if you are doing any of these or not.
I have the same goal as you. I would love to be able to run for 30-45 minutes straight. I have had to move back to week 2 of C25K because I haven't worked out very much for about 2 weeks. :P But Monday officially starts us training for a 5K in May!
Anyways, I hope someone else can offer suggestions! I'm not always the best at advice LOL.

[Trazey34]

I don't have much to offer but a cyber hug - you seem to have a clear understanding of what's happening to you and that's amazing!

I laughed out loud at your ps. because before i read it i said to myself "people should say ennui way more" LOL

[4xcharm]

When you practice running for length of time, do you actually have to cover a significant distance? I find that if I just take little mini steps, almost like a jazzy cadence march, I can keep going and going.

[JenMusic]

Spixiet, first of all, I love the word "ennui."

You seem pretty self-aware in your post, and I think your strategy of removing the scale for a preset period of time is a good one. No rea advice to offer there, and I wish you luck on the running!

My only other suggestions are olive oil and avocado. One tablespoon of EVOO is 120 calories, and it's what I use when I need a calorie boost for a particular day for whatever reason. It makes my sauteed veggies taste amazingly rich and adds lots of good fat.

Avocado is great in salads, omelets, and sandwiches, and also adds good fat.

I do eat PB and nuts a couple of times of week, but for me, those can be trigger foods so I need to limit them. Whenever I've used avocado or EVOO, I haven't had an increased desire to go back for more, you know? I'm perfectly happy with one weighed-out portion. Not always the case with nuts and nut butters.