[Sunshine73]

Doh! I just had a major Homer Simpson moment.

This Friday is my birthday. I've been completely, 100% on plan for over a month and I really want to go out for a special meal for my birthday and not be so concerned about calories, carbs, etc. Not that I want to go crazy and eat everything in sight but just to be able to eat a "normal" enjoyable meal if that makes any sense.

However, there is a big meal at the church where I work on Sunday and I know that I can't splurge a bit on Friday and then go to the meal on Sunday where I'll definitely be splurging because I have no control over what's made, no idea how it's made and have no way of determining the calorie content. It's been seriously stressing me out - even more than dealing with Thanksgiving dinner (because I'll be cooking that and I'll know how things were made, etc. and what I can have and still be on plan).

So, after fussing and worrying myself almost sick over the whole thing (who gets that fussed over food anyway?) it suddenly occurred to me: I don't have to go to the church thing. If I'm going to have something slightly off plan then I can choose what and when. I know that seems pretty obvious but at some point I've obviously become such a "pleaser" that it never even dawned on me that I could opt out of doing something that I would find entirely too stressful for many reasons.

So, I'm going to call this a small NSV!

[Shmead]

No eating to please other people is one of my big rules. I feel exactly the same way: treats are few and far between, I am going to make them be the exact thing I want, not food that I am only eating to be nice.

I've become a master at just going places and not eating at all. It's like my whole life I'd freak out over food choices and trying to pick the least damaging thing, and the whole world opened up when I noticed "none of the above".

[Ame]

Happy early birthday!

Planning out every bit of what to eat sounds difficult! I'm a people pleaser too though and do the same thing. I get myself involved in so many things and make obligations all the time that I don't have time for which just gets me too stressed. For example, my plans to start eating better will soon be foiled this Thanksgiving when my mom loads up my plate with her traditional fixin's and takes insult when I don't finish it.

I wish I could be like you, Shmead. I can't say no to a food offering, I guess it was just my upbringing and also because I grew up kinda poor. I guess it's something I will have to get used to!

Food is stressful!

[stacygee]

Do what you think is necessary. For me I have decided to not eat anything off my program until I get to my goal weight. Every once in a while I eat more then my allotted 1200 calories but at least it is always with my accepted food. I have been staying home from some functions and such because I know it would be too hard.

[Sunshine73]

Shmead : That's exactly how I felt - trying to figure out what would be the least damaging thing to eat - how to balance everything. It was just too much. Ugh! Opening the option of not having to eat just to please someone is liberating. Difficult maybe but liberating.

Ame: Thanks! And yes, food is stressful. I grew up poor too and I do really think that shaped a lot of my unhealthy attitudes toward food. You're right - it is stressful!

stacygee I think that it is sometimes just easier to avoid those situations all together. Some stuff is just too tempting.

[Rana]

I think one of the best gifts I gave myself was the ability to tell people "no!" to food AND to feel okay throwing food away.

YAY for your NSV!!!!!

[Onederchic]

Happy early birthday!!

[KenzideRhae]

Happy birthday and good job with your NSV