[katy trail]

ok so i've been posting alot about how excited i am about moving into our first house. we have picked out our house, just need the ok from the bank for the loan. i think it will go through. assuming it will, and getting ready to move now. if the deal falls through, we'll be moving to another house soon.

so today i was trying to figure out why i was feeling so moody. what is wrong? as i said, new car(new to us), new body i've lost almost 50#. at my lowest weight in close to 10 years. new house- it even looks new inside with lots of updates: new carpet, fresh paint, new flooring, huge backyard....on and on. almost everything we want in a house and a real deal for the price it is. but....
why do i hear myself telling myself i don't deserve THAT nice of a house? i think this is that same mentality that kept me in the same very limited wardrobe. because i don't deserve to buy new clothes untill i've lost alot of weight. now i feel like i can buy clothes, but i guess sometimes i'm still dealing with the low self-esteem. at the same time, i'm very excited to move. the apt we are living in feels more and more like a hole in the wall. the same apt i was so happy to move IN to 4 years ago. it's really all in my head, and relative.

i wonder if others are having issues adjusting to your new life after weightloss, a move etc?

[vdander24]

I am no where near my goal weight, but I have a similar "script" that my brain likes to run through. I say script, for me, it takes on the same tone everytime. You would think that after all these years, I would tire of it and deal with it, but have been fighting mine for quite some time.
Hang in there, because YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!!!!

[katy trail]

thanks for the support. i'm sure i just need to continue working on my self-esteem, and i'll be fine.

[GreenTeaYum]

That is a whole heck of a lot of change to take in all at once. But they are all such good and positive things! Still though, it can be stressful to have so much in your life changing- it may bring up a lot of emotion and anxiety you didn't even realize. There is a lot of work involved in all those things as well. Moving, loans with the house and car, and weight loss... that's a daily struggle. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do.

It certainly doesn't sound like you are splurging or living beyond your means and you absolutely deserve it!!! Congrats on everything you have accomplished- and don't for a single second believe you don't deserve it. You have worked hard for everything that is happening, now is the time to sit back and enjoy it!

[katy trail]

well, we always pay cash for cars. so the only loan is the house. it's mostly the house i think, that makes me feel like that. or when i combine my new 'skinny' body in that house. i guess it kinda doesn't seem real? i guess i thought we would have to move in to a house that needed to be fixed up. also, we just got preapproved for a larger loan. i guess in my head thats a bit of a 'splurge'. but even though we don't make much, it will still be affordable.
yea it's just going to take time. i CAN be that wife with the great house, rocking body, great mom. i'm still working on where i expect goal wt to be. i'm close to the just overweight bmi's. now i want to look good naked haha.