[PeaceNLove]

Hey guys,

I need some real motivation here I was initially at my highest weight of 254 lbs over a year ago. I got down to 215 and pretty much stayed there until about 3 months ago when I moved back into my mom's house. I weighed myself today and I am 248!!! 248 lbs. Granted it's my TOM, but still I gained back over 30 lbs. All my hard work has pretty much dissolved Today I'm even more frustrated because of my body. I went shoe shopping with my boyfriend tonight because my feet are always killing me in whatever shoes I wear, because shoes never fit! I have never seen a pair of wider feet than mine. No, a 10 W does not suffice, neither a 10 WW most of the time (which are hard to find in a normal store rather than for 80 dollars on zappos.com anyway.) My feet are just SO wide, I can't usually fit any show on them and forget wearing sandals or flats! They're not long, just wide. My ring size is also an 11 and the most embarrassing thing happened on my birthday a few weeks ago. My boyfriends family had a joint birthday party for me and my boyfriends two sister in laws (we're all October babies) and my boyfriends mother bought me a bracelet. My heart sank when I saw it because I knew it would not fit. My wrist is just too big. Everything about me is TOO big. I wanted to cry. She told me, "try it on" and 20 pairs of eyes are looking at me as I said, "no it's okay." Then she says, oh well maybe we can get it extended. I feel like a giant. I'm only about 5'5 and I carry my weight decently well surprisingly but my feet, hands, wrists, UGH they kill me. I have heard of people dropping ring/shoe sizes as they lost weight but i'm so discouraged that even if i get down to my goal weight of 140 I'll still never be able to find shoes. I'm uncomfortable all the time! I simply can NOT take this anymore...

[RoseRodent]

I'm not sure you are going to like this reply much, but do try to stay with me. Let's leave for a moment the question of whether or not your body will change - it might, it might not. But first is to love yourself, invest in yourself. How can you justify effort in yourself if you are putting yourself down? Your body deserves health, your body deserves good food. I think it's very unhelpful for us to think of parts of ourselves as revolting, disgusting, etc. even if those parts are big flabby bits, they aren't revolting, they are just fat/large/heavy, and feeling disgusted with yourself really doesn't help your frame of mind.

But what may be very helpful about the weight loss is that you can let go of any guilt that you might be carrying about having caused this. You may get slimmer feet, you may not, but at least at goal weight you'll know you didn't cause yourself to have wide feet, they'll just be part of your overall shape. I think that's probably more the issue here, that you feel everyone is looking down at you when you try on the bracelet not because it's too small but because you fear they are all thinking OMG she's too fat for it. I don't think it will be helpful to be too invested in whether or not these parts of your body will change - they may, they may not, but you can certainly reduce your feelings of inadequacy that stem from those body parts if you know it's just part of the way God (or whatever you believe in) made you. Do your parents have wide feet? Any brothers and sisters? It will not only give you a clue as to whether or not these things will probably change but if the bracelet situation comes up again you can just say thank-you, say you'll get it extended and joke that you blame your mother for your big wrists (if mum can take a joke!) and it disperses the feelings of being inadequate because you don't fit the stuff.

I have huge wide feet because I have two dropped arches, and that's not weight related (sometimes you can squash the arches in your feet by being heavy*) it's part of an overall connective tissue disorder that I have, and as much as I've raged against having to pay more money for wide shoes over the years I've had to decide I can make myself unhappy about the situation or I can suck it up and buy the big shoes, there really is nowhere else to go with this one when you think about it logically!

I guess what I am saying is that maybe your body will change, maybe it won't, but you can definitely change your mindset.

* Do get someone to show you exercises for the feet as you get lighter because if you have weight-related dropped arches you have a good shot at making your feet smaller and more healthy by raising the arches, but this is rarely something anyone shows you in a workout, if the gym doesn't know how to do it then try the specialist shoe shops.

[jigglefree]

I so know how you feel. I felt the same way last year. For Christmas my director at work bought the other ladies in the office all these cute clothes and I got a leather wallet. I needed it but I know it was because she had NO idea what to buy me or what size. I felt horrible. Then I went home for Christmas and I was the biggest person there. I decided on Christmas Day that it would not be the same this year. I was wearing a size 24 and have worked my way to a size 14. I can't remember when I was this small. I couldn't have imagined my body changing but it has. My wedding set is too big so I wear it on my right hand but it almost too big for that hand. I don't wear bracelets but my wrists are almost small enough for me to fit my thumb and forefinger around them. I have been hoping for the shrinking feet because I'm a size 10 and they are wide as well. I can't wear pumps because my toes are too wide and feel cramped in narrow toe shoes. I wasn't sure the fat rolls on my back and side would go away but they are going away. Some people have either rolls on their side or on their back but mine were inner tubes that went all the way around my body. Now they are just on my back and getting smaller. What I'm fighting right now is my stomach and upper inner thighs. It's where the fat goes first but it is an all out WAR.

So don't be discouraged. The first two months I would read the goal and mini goal stories to stay on task. Then I started having my small successes. I'm looking forward to hearing you have your small success too. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

[Eliana]

I can tell you my feet have narrowed dramatically and that my rings have gone down two sizes. My best friend, who has also lost 75 pounds lost two ring sizes as well. I've lost maybe and inch (or less) off my wrist.

It is definitely possible to lose in these areas. But I think these areas are also indicative of bone structure. There's nothing wrong with it at all.

I like what Rose said quite a lot. You need to love the parts about you that you can not change. We all have those couple areas, you know? They're just different on each of us.

[Linsy]

I hate to tell you this, but even when I was about 130-140lbs when I was younger (and I'm talking young, about 13-14) my feet were still really wide. I wore a size 7 shoe then, and now that I'm older I wear about an 8 or a 9. I was ordering some heels off of Zappos a couple of weeks ago, so I went to get my feet professionally measured, and apparently my feet are so short that I should wear a 6WW. I feel like my feet are almost as wide as they are long! . They're not very pretty either! My ring size is also a 10 or 11.

But listen, you should lose the weight for your health and happiness, not shoes and rings. Most likely your feet WILL slim down, maybe not as dramatically as you'd like but they probably will. Same with your fingers. Get back on plan and stay motivated. You'll be happier in the long run.

[sweetnlow28]

Aww, I know how you feel hun I always felt so huge compared to everyone else, and I am only 5' 3" I always needed that wide or extra wide shoe and my rings were almost a size 10. I used to avoid jewelry stores because I knew nothing there would fit me. I went to look at a bracelet once and they said they could make me one out of a necklace, it was embarrassing. I am also built like a line backer with wide shoulders..that part didn't change but we learn to live with what we have right lol.

Take heart that things will most definitely change with weight loss, at least a little bit . As you lose weight, you will take fat off your fingers and your ring size will decrease. I went from a size 9.75 to a 6.75. I am not saying you will drop several sizes for sure, but you may. Just think, wherever you have fat that adds a size to your body, taking away the fat will decrease the size..makes sense right lol. My feet are no longer a wide width, in most shoes. Feet depend more on bone structure but again, where there is fat to lose, there is a chance to decrease the size. Please don't be discouraged. Go into your weight loss wanting to lose for a chance to be the healthiest person you can be. Getting smaller is just a bonus along the way

[matt_H]

I used to wear tripple E shoes...the widest width. No more. I can't wear my class ring from high school anymore, it falls off.

Your feet, fingers, and wrist will shrink!

[Shmead]

I went through a phase in my weight loss where my forearms thinned dramatically and it actually freaked me out: I kept looking down and seeing strange arms--they weren't mine! Certainly I've lost a couple inches on my wrist.

My rings are falling off and I've taken to wearing my wedding ring on my middle finger. I need to find a way to get it sized (it's stainless steel) because I got asked out the other day!

I lost a full shoe size, and my feet are definitely more narrow. They have veins in them--it's cool!

One other really shocking change--my shoulders are TINY. I didn't know I had fat in my shoulders, but they have gotten so small. It's freaky.

The process of watching my body transform was mesmerizing. Look forward to it!