does your ideal weight change? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

mom4life · 11-05-2010, 02:52 PM

Had a question that's been bugging me for a while and now it came back to smack me in the face.
Does your ideal weight change after every child you have? I ask this cause a couple years ago my doctor told me this after I told her I was at 152 lbs. and wanted to get down to my ideal weight for my height and frame....which I might add that I was for many years....its 130 lbs. That was AFTER I had my FIRST child and before my 4 others came along. She told me that a woman's body changes after each childbirth so therefore your ideal weight also changes. According to her at the weight I was at (152) was my ideal weight after 4 children. She told me that if I continued to lose weight that she would nag me to death.
Well now fast forward and I've had my 5th child 3 months ago. My mom brings a similar thing up (mind you she lives 1,000 miles away and hasn't seen me since I had my 3 month old), saying that my body has changed...I've gotten older (almost 36) and had 5 children. So to pursue losing the weight till I get to my ideal weight is "Dangerous and stupid." This is the same lady that for years would nag me to lose weight. I got mad and I told her that 130 was not super thin....I was wearing a size 8-10 in jeans...I still own those jeans. LOL
With everything that the medical field shoves down our throat about BMI and ideal weight, why is it that all that is tossed out the window after you have children? If this is true then I can imagine what Mrs. Dugger's ideal weight should be after 20 kids. LOL

katy trail · 11-05-2010, 03:08 PM

i think having kids has a major effect on your bodies, obviously. i don't think you can't get lower than 150. my mom(somewhere around 50 now) has spent most of her life around 150. that's the weight she was when i was growing up, she's had 3 kids. i don't think it changes alot after each kid, although may need to reevalulate each time. i think the difference is mostly either having kids or not. your belly is already stretched, your hips are already wider, they aren't going to get alot wider with each kid, well in my opinion. that makes sense to me.

it sounds like they are just basing this on stereotypes. look at all the older women and men staying fit now? resistance training, weight training, healthy diet is really important of course. i think you can do it. don't worry about them.

ultimately, it's about being healthy. muscle tone. feeling great. not a size or weight. maybe get a new dr too.

mom4life · 11-05-2010, 03:17 PM

Haha yeah I'm in the process of looking for another doctor. She whipped out a dial thingy that she got her info on me based on my stats. I should've asked her where she got it from. Grr!
I told my mom that I had seen many women on this site that were older and are very healthy and have met their ideal weight regardless if they had kids or not. She just wouldn't believe it.
I'm sticking to my guns. Grant it I will be open to sticking to whatever weight I feel good at along the way so I may not hit 130...who knows. I would never go past it cause I did that many years ago and it wasn't pretty. LOL

thesame7lbs · 11-05-2010, 03:34 PM

I weigh less now than before I had my three children. But, my body has definitely changed. I have a dress I wore to rush in college, must have been the second week of freshman year. I probably weighed around what I weigh now. Then I gained weight and didn't fit in it forever. Then I wore it again when I weighed about 130, right before I got pregnant with my first child. Now, even at 121-122, it doesn't fit. My midsection is definitely thicker. I'm sure my hips are wider, too, but the dress isn't fitted through the hip so I can't tell.

I wouldn't believe anyone who says a mother can't be at an ideal weight. I have friends and neighbors with 2, 3, 4 and yes, 5 kids who look fantastic. And you should see the women at my gym!

SCraver · 11-05-2010, 03:50 PM

Sounds like made up stuff to me!! (I would get a second Dr.s opinion) After having my son, I can DEFINITELY tell a difference in my body. Things have shifted around in ways I don't think I care for... but to say you should weigh more because you've had children really doesn't make sense to me. You can still build muscle and lose fat. You don't need extra fat just because you have already had children. It makes no sense to me!

I have 170 listed as my goal... but who knows - maybe I will find that too ahrd to maintain and prefer 180. Or maybe I will get to 170 and decide to go for 160. I only plan on having one more child.

Petite Powerhouse · 11-05-2010, 04:08 PM

There are fitness models with children who have 13% body fat.

As for me, though I haven't had a child, I weigh what I did in college and yet a dress I made for myself then doesn't fit at all because I have completely changed my physique through weightlifting. I'm actually a smaller person now at 37 than I was at 18 and the same weight.

A lot of our notions about giving birth are based in a time when women were not nearly as in to physical fitness as they are now. Yes, we are the unhealthiest we have ever been, but ironically we are also the healthiest that we have ever been. Older athletes prove all the time that they don't have to be put out to pasture at 30 or even 40 and 50. And women prove that they can get their bodies back after childbirth.

I'm not suggesting for a moment that childbirth isn't hard on the body, and that it doesn't sometimes—often, in fact—lead to permanent changes in that body. But the fact is that there are women out there who do get back to the way they looked before. And there are women who get even fitter than they were before. And without question there are women who weigh what they did before. It is absolutely possible.

Personally, my mother was the fittest she ever was after giving birth to me and to my brother. She was running twelve miles several times a week and roller skating and doing all kinds of activities. She was fit in college, but based on pictures she was in even better shape at 30. She lost all the baby weight.

mom4life · 11-05-2010, 05:15 PM

exactly, without a doubt I know my hips are wider then they were when I was younger (after I had my first child). I had no hips then and thank God for the hips I have now. LOL I was pretty much a stick then...no shape and I was 26. The recorded measurements I did before this last pregnancy, I was at 141 and it was very obvious that my hips widened and my breasts were also a cup larger. I'm looking forward to what my body will look like when I pass the 141 mark.

stacygee · 11-05-2010, 05:29 PM

sounds like an excuse that someone came up with...

I think it gets HARDER to lose the weight... but I don't think your ideal weight changes. Your BONE FRAME didn't get bigger. Go for it and get a new doctor.

ncuneo · 11-05-2010, 08:43 PM

I have no idea, but I'm 3 lbs away from what I weighed when I was 18 years old and I had a child when I was 29, so I think it just depends on the person.

Honestly, I'd just focus on how you feel and what is sustainable for you.

sacha · 11-05-2010, 08:47 PM

Nope, my ideal doesn't change - but I do think I give myself a little more slack. I got very bad stretchmrks and my belly button is saggy (even at just 130ish) but that's nothing I can control.

The scale # can be the same but childbirth can really scar your figure. I had a 9lb 3 oz baby at 41 weeks and I carried him very far in front - even working out on a daily basis (up to the day I went in for an induction) doesn't change the scars the pregnancy left.

Sometimes, it can be impossible.