Dealing with people who don't know what they're talking about
gets me pretty irritated, so I try to avoid talking to anyone about what I do. But lately a few people have noticed I've lost weight, and asked how I did it. They asked what I ate. I said I ate whatever I wanted, I just count calories,to which they replied "cutting calories won't make you lose weight."
Because I haven't lost anything lately, I forgot, how silly of me.
Then she went into a long-winded, in-depth story about why it just didn't work, why it COULDN'T work, and what I SHOULD be doing; telling me that I SHOULD be exercising, etc... To which I replied: "I am. Calorie counting is fine." Cue long awkward silence.
I should have bit my tongue, but I didn't. We didn't "argue" per say, but neither one of us was willing to budge. Needless to say the rest of the time spent together was awkward.
So do you guys tend to hold your tongue around others, or do you just tell them what they want to hear? I'm usually really good about keeping my personal things to myself, but I was in such a good mood since I've lost so much I just lost my head.
I find it really isn't worth the argument either. They think what they want to think; they do what they want to do. I used to TRY to push my friends in what I thought were positive directions. If they mention to me that they'd like to lose weight, I drop some hints, telling them what works for me, and they usually have some snappy, sarcastic rejoinder, or they say "That's too much work. I think I'll eat a burger" (no seriously, they do) so when it comes to talking about my weight loss program I usually just say "It's going well for me" or "I'm eating more fruits and veggies and working out". One of my friends told me that her idea of a good workout was doing an abs DVD and then eating a bowl of popcorn with some soda. Ha XD
Sounds to me like you were the polite one. Another person telling you you're wrong, giving unsolicited advice, and refusing to listen in spite of your obvious success (and the fact that you are absolutely right on top of that) easily deserved worse than a somewhat curt response, if you could even call it that.
Personally, I do tend to keep my weight loss methods, successes, failures, etc., very private (except for on these boards), but if someone were to blatantly contradict me after asking very personal questions, I would imagine I would pull out a response I have used sparingly in the past. "You may think that, but you would be wrong."
i've been lucky that my family is happy for me. As far as i can tell. They do their best to listen to me go on and on about my fav. instructor. and recamend certain w/o that they might 'like' or rather would be effective. since when i 'like' a cathe w/o it's bc i got results or it gave me doms. not exactly everyone's cup of tea. i have noticed they do lose interest if i go on too much past generalizations. I guess in a way it's a nice change from me going on constantly about eating healthy. even if i was obese and still am. most of that side of the family is in good shape.
i guess the ones that aren't ready to change can't really listen untill they are ready. i have family members that i want to help, but i don't know how to help them.
At work I just let the other person be right. I just don't really care. With people I do care about, I just say it's obviously working for me; I can't speak for everyone.
When asked, I keep my answer very neutral. I say I've been making better food choices and have increased my exercise. That gives absolutely no room for the discussion and critiques which seem to always follow. If someone really presses me to know more I let them know I'd be happy to sit down with them some time and that they could give me a call. What I've found, is that most people who inquire would "like" to lose weight but just aren't willing to make the commitment. For my personal weight loss successes, it really is in my best interest to not get into disagreements about my choice of weight loss plan. When I get upset, I'm far more likely to engage in emotional and unplanned eating.
i try to go for the smile and nod.. but the smart alleck in me just always seems to come out. "hmm... i didn't realize you were a nutritionist"
"gee, i guess i lost all that weight by magic then"
"well whatever you're doing seems to be working, please enlighten me oh wise one"
I completely understand how you feel. For me, it's not just the unsolicited critique...it's the constant watchful eyes, assessing, evaluating my methods. I don't enjoy being watched and analyzed. As far as your question, it just depends on my mood. Usually, I just say, "oh, you know....it's what the experts always say: I take less calories in than I put out." Then, if they say anything, I"ll usually say, "to each their own." If I'm really feeling catty, I'll say, "how much weight have you lost?" But, usually, I just let it go.
i've been lucky that my family is happy for me. As far as i can tell. They do their best to listen to me go on and on about my fav. instructor. and recamend certain w/o that they might 'like' or rather would be effective. since when i 'like' a cathe w/o it's bc i got results or it gave me doms. not exactly everyone's cup of tea. i have noticed they do lose interest if i go on too much past generalizations. I guess in a way it's a nice change from me going on constantly about eating healthy. even if i was obese and still am. most of that side of the family is in good shape.
i guess the ones that aren't ready to change can't really listen untill they are ready. i have family members that i want to help, but i don't know how to help them.
I have lost and gained weight time and time again. I try not to be the person who is successful with weight loss and then becomes a know it all and tells everyone else what to do. In turn, I would like people to be respectful of me and not try to tell me what to do. Everyone wants to make comments or give advice.
I grew tired of people being in my business, especially at work, so if they notice I have lost weight, I just say, "Oh, really. Thank you."
If they want to know what I am doing, I say nothing in particular.
Counting calories does work! I have used several methods for weight loss including counting calories. I sometimes think other people want to discourage people from my successes....weight loss or other. You know it works--who cares what she thinks!
So do you guys tend to hold your tongue around others, or do you just tell them what they want to hear?
I try just not to go there. If they force it upon me, I try to keep the focus off me and change topic soon.
They want to blab about whatever, go right ahead. My stock answer doesn't change "I'm glad that works for you. So what about..." and change the subject.
Dealing with people who don't know what they're talking about
