This question is for rockinrobin - or any of the big losers that I have come to admire!
I have been thinking A LOT all week. It has been a rough week for me. I have really come A LONG way from where I once was in my eating habits. And I am proud of my acomplishments... but this week has been rough and I STILL battle with the evenings. I have some ideas I want to try in order to over come this last big obstacle (like setting up an exercise room so I can do a short walk in the evenings or some yoga) and I have been really focusing on WHY I have had a hard time this week. WHY I let myself over eat in the evenings. And, rockinrobin, I could just picture you responding with: "make a plan for the evening and stick to it. Period. Quit screwing around" (although, you would word it better, and then I would pout upon reading it, only to realize you were right).
Ok - getting on with it. I get the impression from your posts that one day, you made a plan and that was that. You have stuck with it and have been successful ever since. I was wondering if you might be willing to share any final obsticles that you may have had to over come that took a few trys before you got it right. OR - have you really just been able to stick with your plan all along?
This was not my experience. I did struggle, a lot, including a 6 month plateau that was at least half self-induced (wedding had happened, and I was simply less motivated to kick my own butt for a while). I still sometimes struggle. It took me a lot of tries to figure out eating out at restaurants (since I do it so rarely, I always approached it as a "treat", then hit a month where I had a LOT of restaurants, which did not go so well), and business travel (which I am STILL trying to work out..I actually eat way too little on business trips or when I'm really busy, which has at least once resulted in me passing out in the shower after a 6am workout from a combination of low blood sugar and exhaustion).
It took three separate major injuries to stop medicating physical pain with food, and I really only worked it out when I had an injury lasting FOREVER (18 months and counting). My instinct is "I had to get cortisone shots and they hurt, therefore and ergo, I deserve lots of ice cream", and I still sometimes fall into that trap.
I have definitely not been able to stick with my plan all along, and I still do fall off even now. It may not be everyone's experience, but it is mine.
Well, SCraver, I am not Robin, or even come close but your post touched me. I feel like I am succeeding this time. I still have a long way to go, but I have lost over 100 pounds. There have been times when my plan and weight loss went smoothly, even was easy. There were other times that I struggled. Night time eating is one of my struggles too. I think that persistence is more important than perfection. Keep working on those problem areas. Don't give up and you will succeed!
I agree with Mandalinn. She made some great points! For me it was trial and error. The first half of my weight was lost by working out, and loosely watching what I ate, the rest of it was by calorie counting. There were times when I was TOO hard on myself, and there were times when I was too loose with myself. Here's the kicker, I still go through that.
In maintenance, I'm still trying to adjust to the new lifestyle. I "try" to plan, but like lots of things, plans change. To make it more challenging, I'm 31 weeks pregnant, so at first I almost went back to old habits, but then I realized I couldn't. I've done very well thus far by eating healthy, and of course I still allow cheat days, what pregnant woman doesn't crave doritos and cream cheese from time to time, but in the end, I remember how hard I worked to get here, and I don't want to go back.
I do get the impression that some people here have been able to figure out what works for them and stick with it, which is great!
But for me it has been a completely different story. From 240lbs+ to my current 127lbs it has been over 10 years, with many many ups and downs.
The big key for me in lessening the sense of struggle, was that 2 years ago I basically decided I didnt need to figure it all out - that I could be ok even if I didnt ever have some magical silver bullet fix. And also that I didnt need to be a certain size anymore, I need to be strong and healthy and have a good quality of life!
So my new plan is adaptation and trying to stay one-step ahead of what I will need to do to adapt. More specifically what I mean is that:
- as my body composition changes, so do my caloric/protein/fiber/fat needs...I adapt to that rather than having one eating plan
- as my body habituates to one exercise I both get bored and it gets less effective, I try to figure out what else I like and can do in the right season so I have something queued up
- as I go thru phases of less motivation I see what are keys for keeping me on plan, stick with those keys always..and also figure out what helps get me back on plan
Things are easier these days. I dont feel like "Im screwing up", I just feel like I might be still figuring it out.
I think it's VERY important to be aware of where your *issues* are and find a way around them. But you know what, your issues will change. They won't remain the same. You've got to be open to seeing and recognizing this - and adjust accordingly.
Night time eating?
I've changed that up over the years and I think I am ready to do it again.
I started out making a cut off time for the evenings. And yes - I stuck to it like glue. Like glue. But a few months in (not sure how long exactly), I was *wanting* something in the evenings. Soooo, I shifted my calories around and placed some calories there.
For me, my eating is almost a ritual. I rely heavily on repeating the same things over and over again. I know exactly what I'm eating and it's just - easier. It is incredibly automatic to me. I don't have to think about it. I'm eating this, this and this and there's nothing to think about.
I spoke about changing my nighttime up. Well, it's come to be that I've saved a lot of calories for the night, but lately I've been a little not hungry, but *nudge-y* during the day.... soooo, I'm afraid I'll have to take some calories from the evening and place them into the day. And I've been reluctant to do so, because I'm not used to it. And I'm afraid that I won't be able to stick with it. I'm afraid that I'll add in those calories during the day and then my nighttime ritual will have to change - and what if I can't do it. What if I eat add in those calories during the day, have not as much left for the night and wind up eating the usual night stuff.. So, I've remained *nudge-y* during the day.
I suppose I will just have to suck it up, add in those calories to the day and CHANGE my night time routine and eventually THAT will become my ritual.
And really, I DO believe it's just a matter of what you get used to. But you have to get to the point where you're used to it! You've got to push yourself. And I'm fairly certain that I CAN get used to my new idea. But I'm struggling with even the THOUGHT of doing it.
I don't know if I answered your question or not, but I did want to bring up the fact that I too struggle. And more importantly - that it's okay to not have it all figured out from the start, but please, please, please be open to changing things up.
Another thing. Yes, do make a plan, but make it easier to stick to that plan. Lay some road blocks for yourself. The best one in my opinion - don't put it in your mouth till it's written down on paper FIRST. Commit to doing this no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. HAve the right foods on hand - the wrong ones OUT OF THE HOUSE. Have your food mapped out, each and every bite, lick, taste, crumb and sip. Much easier to stay on plan, when you've got one.
You've made some great changes. You are a work in progress, as we all are. We just need to keep on progressing.
Edited to add: I just wanted to add here, that there ARE going to be some uncomfortable moments. You have to realize that and be willing to push through it. Ending a lifetime of unhealthy behaviors is going to involve more than a few episodes of telling yourself no and that's not so *pleasant* shall we say - initially. You do get used to it. And of course, you then no longer *want* as much. Your priorities shift. You LEARN how to deal with it. But you do have to push yourself in order to grow, in order to better yourself, in order to prosper.
There will be times when you'll be riding high and this will all seem so easy breezy and then out of no where - smack - you're struggling again. But it passes. It passes. And ahhhh, what a relief when it does.
Can you say *roller coaster*????
Last edited by rockinrobin; 10-21-2010 at 06:04 PM.
I've lost over 170 pounds. The first year? Pretty much went awesome. I had my gall bladder taken out and stayed on plan. Things were great! Lost 155 lbs in that year. The first half of the second year? Awesome! Stuck to plan and lost 25 more pounds!
Then... depression happened. I took a "maintenance" break for the summer and gained back 15 pounds. I realized that I HAVE TO deal with the mental part of me gaining weight. I HAVE TO deal with my depression while moving forward.
So yah. i made a plan. I stuck to it. Until big scary stuff got in the way. So now I'm back on plan. And sticking to it. And I know that with counseling, medication, my chickies and ME that I can finally get to my goal weight.
Sometimes you are going to have hard weeks, that is normal. You aren't failing if you have a hard week, you just have to adjust to find what works for you and keep the idea that a slip is not a failure, it is a blip.
My main thing is "I AM WORTH THIS". No one or nothing can make this happen except me.
My hardest thing has been eating out. The other night my Mom, My Sister and her friend and I went to watch my nephew at a band concert. On the way they wanted to stop and eat. So we stopped. It was the southern belle. Doesn't the name just tell you what they serve....homemade southern food well I sat down and ordered a water. Then when they ordered their food, I was asked what I wanted and I said "NOTHING" they couldn't believe it. My Mom said well she hasnt lost 105lbs eating stuff like this... Yea me!!!
I put my before picture on the fridge when I started this journey. SO when I get to craving and head to the fridge I have to look at that picture. I then realize I am not that hungry.
That has really helped me to.
Coming here daily has helped tons. Joining the challenges also keep me accountable.
It's hard....really hard at times. Easy most of the time. This is a life style so you need to find where you are comfortable and stay there. If its really low calories for breakfast and lunch then a better dinner to make you feel like you are satisfied then by all means.....calories are calories.
I don't know if I qualify as a "big loser" YET, as I am at 99 pounds gone. BUT, it has taken me over 3 years to do that. I had a lot of stuff to work through mentally and emotionally AND I had to tweak my plan every time I had a long plateau. But the main thing is DO NOT GIVE UP. Yes, make a plan and stick with it but be willing to change when necessary. Try new things to see what works. And if you find yourself gaining or not losing, dig deep and get to the root of the mental/emotional reasons. Because I did all that work, I feel like I have a whole new attitude and relationship with food that I hope will last me forever.
For me, I think it was really important that I started with a high calorie limit the first few months--like 2500 for a few weeks, and then down to 2000. At 300 lbs, I still lost weight and I was still hungry, but I wasn't starving. Every other diet I'd started, I started at 1200 calories, and that meant that pretty much all my willpower went into NOT EATING. I didn't have any mind left for planning, or experimenting, or just sitting around thinking about how things were working out and what tweaks might be a good idea.
Once I had my routines in place, it was really pretty simple to cut back a hundred calories or so a week--and then, as my capacity for exercise increased, they went back up!
I've always been horrible with night time eating, or at least I used to be..... I'm still nowhere near where I ultimately want to be, and have other totally separate issues, but a combination of two things worked for the night time eating for me:
I researched about fat cells, and about how you always have the same number, they just shrink (they get less fatty too!). That your fat cells realize when they begin to shrink and send false hunger signals. So when it was night time and I knew I wasn't really hungry, I'd just tell my fat cells to shut up.
Also, I eventually had to have my husband physically restrain me from food at night for about a month. One night I was grumpy and sarcastic and really mean, and it made me realize how powerful those urges are. I still have urges to eat when I'm not hungry, but they're more spread out throughout the day. Also I've found if I almost overeat during dinner, I REALLY don't feel hungry at night, and for a while that helped. I stayed within calorie type of things, but saved it up and that seemed to help. I can handle being hungry during the day, but the night is the worst.
I've lost 160 pounds and though I try to stay strict, I haven't the entire time. I falter but I don't let it keep me down and that is what I am proud of.
Thank you all SO MUCH! I am going to print this thread and read it whenever I feel like I did this week. When I feel like I have a mountain that I don't know how to get over. It is a relief to know that no one is perfect. And that this journey is hard for everyone. To remember that there will be easy days, too.
I am sitting on my couch right now... catching up on Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. I ate my PLANNED dinner and now I am munching on my PLANNED snack and that. is. it. If I feel like I want to eat everything in the house - I will just go to bed!
I feel like I can do this... NO - I KNOW I can do this.
I'm into my 4th year now on this episode of weight loss. It has been a series of victories and setbacks. There was a period of time when I was in a month long slide (into the second year of this) that I gained back significant amounts of weight. I had, at that point, given up and was back into the old routines when by chance a friend of mine started talking about wanting to lose weight and be healthier and she basically remotivated me to start again.
Robin is so right when she talks about the "ritual". It is so much easier when you make food choices by routine. You know what you are going to eat and you don't have to think about it.
Its a struggle and it isn't easy, but most of the good things in life and things you have to work for. The good news is everyone has the ability to do it.
rockinrobin (and other big losers)
well I sat down and ordered a water. Then when they ordered their food, I was asked what I wanted and I said "NOTHING" they couldn't believe it. My Mom said well she hasnt lost 105lbs eating stuff like this... Yea me!!!
