Hey All,
I hope this is this right place to post this. If not, um, let me know!
This has been a REALLY hard week. Ugg.
I have been fairly gentle with myself as I go into this process. I spent the last couple of weeks of August and the first few weeks of September just really observing and recording what I eat, when I eat and drink. And then I started to slowly shift that into eating the way that I want to be eating (homemade healthy yummy food!) and trying to cut down on my alcohol intake. I found I was consistently eating well 4 days out of 7 and the other 3,well, not so good!
This week has been TERRIBLE!!!!
I think it's a combination of being super busy at work and feeling a bit lonely and a bit frustrated with everything.
On Friday I went out and had some drinks with a friend and on my way home at like 1 in the morning, thought a couple of slices of dollar pizza would be a really good idea. BAD PLAN. I woke up feeling gross and kind of in pain and I thought, I am abusing myself-like physically! Just kind of from the inside out. And I wouldn't physically abuse myself on the outside, so why would I do it with food.
It was kind of an epiphany for me.
But then I went on to do basically the same thing last night.
Argggg!!!!!
So here I am, Sunday morning, drinking my coffee and putting this out there.
Does anyone else find that the harder they try to succeed in establishing a healthy lifestyle, the harder the push back from these habits and comforts that we have developed over years?
I suspect I am not alone in this-but this morning, I feel pretty darn alone with it.
Sometimes I feel so discouraged as well. I had a bad week/weekend too - from THURSDAY to Sunday! Because I am generally pretty strict and very aware of what I eat, when I fall... I fall HARD. I'm a huge victim of the "well, this one bad thing has ruined my whole day (or weekend), so I'm just going to eat crappy" mentality. I just need to get back on the horse when I fall off!
The worst part is how I feel about it afterward though - and I'm sure you can relate - but I feel so embarrassed, ashamed, and angry, even if it's only me who knows what happened. I hate it : (
Same to you! It's so hard. I'm at college as well, so for me, it makes it that much harder - I now I can do it, but I wish I had the support/food of my mother and my own kitchen : P
I find myself wanting to let frustration, anger, etc. derail my motivation but I know I can't do that. I am tougher than those tough emotions. Besides, why should I let someone's ****ty comments (or anything for that matter) wreck my own personal progress? I know eating a bunch of comfort foods apparently doesn't do anything but make me gain weight. I am trying to get into journaling my feelings to get them out and then sitting with the feelings until I work through them. When all else fails, I turn on upbeat music and lose myself in it for a while. Music has always been a great pick-me-up, it's a huge stress-buster for me.
the last 4 days, i have been feeling lonely and not great,also i've been a bot broke, so I haven't been going out at all. And I've just been trying-like you said, to just sit with it, instead of doing any of the normal things I so when I'm feeling this way, like eating or drinking or like, obsessively socializing, which is the other thing I find I do when I'm feeling like this. It's been tough, but kind of good. And even though I feel sort of sad, I feel really clear and focused.
Also, I like what you said about being tougher then those tough emotions. So true!!!
I really wasn't expecting to have to confront that much emotion so it was surprising to me but GOOD all at the same time. I finally realized that I have a really hard time being upset with people and will try to circumvent those feelings. You really can't though b/c you're human and have those emotions for a reason, to preserve and defend yourself. It's really better for me to acknowledge those feelings, appreciate them for what they are and then work to move past them on my own.
Push Back
