Comments about your weight loss: what do you say? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

LiannaKole · 09-30-2010, 07:43 PM

So I recently hit the point where people I know are actually noticing my weight loss. It shocked me at first, because I think I had this illogical subconscious thought that I would lose weight, tell no one, and then only when I reached my goal they'd notice. I didn't realize I thought that until a couple weeks ago. I'd decided not to tell anyone about starting to lose weight, because I don't like the pressure - like if I stall or gain some, I don't want them thinking "Oh, I knew she wouldn't make it," like I know some people are thinking.

Anyway, I don't know what to say when people comment on my weight loss. It's only been about 35 lbs, and I want to lose 50 more, so I'm guessing they'll keep coming. At first I managed to stutter out weird reply that earned me odd looks, and once I even said, "No, I haven't lost any weight" when I clearly had. Stupid, but it was what came out.

Now I just kind of smile and nod and say, "Yeah, I've lost a little weight. Thanks for noticing!" But even that comes out weird. It's not like a shirt that gets me compliments where I can go, Yeah, I like it too!

Comments aren't flying left and right, but I'm still not sure how to handle them. I like them, I'm pleased people noticed, but it's still a little strange for me.

So what do you guys reply to comments about your weight loss? And for anyone who is close to or reached their goal, how do you respond to comments about a LOT of weight loss? (I haven't lost that much yet).

mandalinn82 · 09-30-2010, 07:51 PM

"Thank you". And then I change the topic, usually, since people tend to drag on and on about weight loss and sometimes I just don't want to talk about it.

Unless people ask, I don't get into details (since most people don't want to hear them) about how I did it. And I usually try to deflect to a less-personal topic as soon as I can.

ncuneo · 10-01-2010, 12:05 AM

I try to be humble, but honestly it makes me really uncomfortable. I say thank you and try to talk about something else.

AuntBea · 10-01-2010, 12:39 AM

I've felt awkward in the past when I've lost weight & people have commented. I think it's because I just don't want to get into a detailed discussion about weight loss since so many people are SO opinionated and don't seem to recognize how dogmatic they are. There's a woman at work like that. You put one grape in your mouth in the kitchen and she has a laundry list of reasons why it's wrong or whatever. And this makes me realize how awkward I feel when I see someone I know who has lost weight; I never know if I should compliment them or not, if they haven't brought it up to me.

The nicest comments I ever received were from two acquaintances who discreetly asked me if I'd lost some weight and said they hoped it was because I'd wanted to rather than because I'd been ill. I can't recall their exact words but they were so sensitive and so caring, it really had an impact on me. They didn't imply I needed to lose weight; they didn't bray about it in front of others. They just said they hoped I hadn't been ill.

Oboegal · 10-01-2010, 01:21 AM

I've been most comfortable saying "Yes, thanks for noticing" from the time when people *did* start noticing (which was when I had lost 40 or 50 pounds).

I'll be honest here--lately, some people have said things to the effect of, "Wow, you sure have lost a *lot* of weight", and I still say to acquaintances, "Yes, I have--thanks for noticing!", probably with a big smile. If it's someone who has previously noticed some weight loss, with whom I interact more than occasionally, sometimes I'll mention how many pounds I have lost and how many pounds I am from my goal.

While I'm a private person in some ways, I've always been open in talking about my age or some other things that "ladies" aren't supposed to discuss in public. Maybe if I were more ladylike I'd feel more uncomfortable about comments, but I can't help it--I'm extremely proud of what I've accomplished, and I'm not ashamed to take credit for it. I've been in my current job for over 16 years; I think I weighed about 210-215 at the beginning of that. Some people have seen me regularly as I yo-yoed up to my maximum weight of 260, and it's really cool having them see me now. I'll never be a babe, but at least I can leave people with the impression that "she takes care of herself".

krampus · 10-01-2010, 01:35 AM

"never be a babe" - PSHHH I'm sure that's not true at all!

Japanese people have no qualms about talking about weight and size. One of the trigger for me to lose weight was when the nice middle aged woman at the vintage shop asked me if I'd gained weight.

So it's not rare for people to comment "you've lost weight" or "you're looking slim." I just say "a little, thanks!" and look away shyly. I suck at taking compliments gracefully.

carter · 10-01-2010, 10:08 AM

I wish I had this problem. I have lost 50 pounds and not one person has commented, other than my partner and my mother who both know I've been working at it.

I can't say no one has noticed, I guess - I don't normally comment on other people's weight loss, so it's reasonable to suppose people have noticed but are keeping it to themselves.

Anyway, if it ever happens, I'll just say, "thanks for noticing, I've been working at it." And then change the subject as fast as I can!

Bombe · 10-01-2010, 02:19 PM

I like it when people comment because I like that they notice. Part of the reason I'm losing weight is because I want to look better so for me it's nice when people notice. I simply smile and say thank you. If they ask more I'll tell more, otherwise I just acknowledge their comment with a thank you.

carter · 10-01-2010, 02:42 PM

Just to update the above, I went to lunch with my group (from work) today and everyone was ooh-ing and aah-ing over the guy in my group who lost 50 pounds. Exactly the same amount as I've lost - but on me, no one notices.

pnkrckpixikat · 10-01-2010, 04:30 PM

ewww that sucks... i have noticed that many guys seem to carry the majority of the weight in their torso, mainly in the 'beer gut' and tends to lose there first. and, as guys tend to wear their belt line under their gut, as opposed to over it as women tend to, their gut is more noticeable as it gains and when it shrinks

RienQueNny · 10-01-2010, 05:22 PM

The same has been happening to me, I've been at the same weight for few months now, but back in June-July, literally everybody at my office was stopping me in my tracks saying "Wow, you've lost so much weight!"
And I'm like, "I did, thanks", and it IS embarrassing. But WHY? Haven't I wanted all my life to be thing? Haven't I wanted all my life for people to comment on how svelte I look? Haven't I dreamed about those "OMG YOU'RE SKINNY" comments??

Why yes I have. But every time someone comments on my weight, even when it's in a positive manner, I feel like they're saying "Good for you, I'm so glad you're trying to not eat yourself to death and it's working!"

Seriously. We all wanted to hear "you've lost weight!" when we started. Now that people are noticing our weight loss, we all want to be invisible. I'm still trying to put a positive spin on my response to those weight loss comment... yes I should be humble, but ******* I'm working hard to lose the weight, so why not take credit for it. People wear buttons that say "I MADE IT BECAUSE OF JENNY CRAIG" and stuff like that, well, I made it because of ME. So thank you for noticing, I've been working my butt off. And there's more coming.

Of course, that's not sound advice for everyone... we're all different.

Onederchic · 10-01-2010, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandalinn82

"Thank you". And then I change the topic, usually, since people tend to drag on and on about weight loss and sometimes I just don't want to talk about it.

Unless people ask, I don't get into details (since most people don't want to hear them) about how I did it. And I usually try to deflect to a less-personal topic as soon as I can.

This.

Cali Doll · 10-01-2010, 07:02 PM

I don't mind the "You look great" comments. I always respond with a simple "Thank you" (and I'm grateful for the compliment).

I can't say "Thank you" to the "Are you losing weight?" question so that is sometimes a bit awkward for me. I usually just say "Yes, I am trying". Sometimes I think people think that question (Are you losing weight) is a compliment. I never say "thank you" in response, though...I just answer the question.

Generally speaking, I'm very open about my weight loss. I tell people what I weigh and how much I've lost (and they do ask!).

I once got that, "You aren't sick, are you??" comment and I actually felt uncomfortable. I was wondering if I was looking sickly and if others were secretly wondering if I was ill.

AuntBea · 10-01-2010, 11:20 PM

Carter, I've had the same thing happen to me: no comment at all, and it was very obvious I'd lost. In one case it was sibling jealousy, I'm sorry to say.

By the same token, I honestly often don't notice when people lose weight. It kind of depends on their height, bone structure, how they dress, and how often I see them. A coworker is always bellowing (literally woo-hooing loudly throughout the office) how much she's lost, in a fun way, not obnoxious, but I wouldn't have that kind of nerve. Anyway, I feel bad because frankly I just don't see it. I do see that she dresses differently. Her face seems the same, though. However, I applaud her when she brings it up and claps for herself and I'm standing there. I just feel bad that I truthfully can't see the difference.

Krampus, why is that? I had a Japanese woman say to me, "Oh, I didn't even recognize you. You have gained a lot of weight, haven' you?" I said, "Yes, I have." Then she said, "And are you happy about it? I remember you used to be so small." And I said, "Are you effing nuts? Of course I'm not happy about it. Who would be??" She didn't have any response.

I have had other people, acquaintances, who I swear treat me differently since I have gained weight. Some of them do not speak to me anymore. They kind of seem to look down on me. They themselves are quite overweight. Then there are some people who I know for a fact take great pride in being slim and having always been slim, though they do not exercise and they have been just as nice to me no matter my weight gain. They have said nothing to me. They just seem glad to see me. So go figure. People are weird sometimes. And I think the whole topic of weight just brings every type of emotional "issue" out from the woodwork.

JessLess · 10-02-2010, 09:46 AM

I like it when people notice. My work is paying off. Taking a compliment is also something that I have worked on, so I just say thank you and smile. If they ask what I have been doing I say, "weight training, cardio, low carbs and low fat."