Lately, I've been feeling like I never learned some things that all other women know.
Some of these may be weight-related, but not all. For example, I finally broke down and had a bra fitting recently, and was unsurprised to have drastically changed sizes. But, because I'm still losing weight, I told the clerk helping me that I only wanted 2 bras at this point, a black one and a white one. She immediately corrected me, telling me I really should get a nude/flesh-toned bra instead of white, because white shows under clothes, but nude doesn't.
Huh? I'm 32, have been wearing bras since I was 10, and never knew that. Whn I mentioned this to some girlfriends, expecting them to be amazed by this little factoid, they all just looked at me with a "Duh, everyone knows that" expression on their faces.
In the more weight-related realm, I've also had to learn how to get in and out of cars in knee-length skirts. I'm NOT naturally graceful, but you'd think I would have learned this before now.
We won't even start discussing how little I know about flirting.
Sometimes I look at other women and wonder HOW they know things about style and fashion and femininity (um, please don't tell me to get a subscription to Cosmo! ).
Anyone else feel that they must have missed the special assembly in middle school where all the other girls were taught these things?
Anyone else feel that they must have missed the special assembly in middle school where all the other girls were taught these things?
Every day of every week!
I'm 40 and have been self educating myself in femininity for the last few years, but I always wonder how other women make it seem so easy. I can't do a thing with my hair, I can spend an hour applying makeup and it vanishes within an hour, if I polish my nails it looks like a 5 year old did it, I'm anything but dainty in a skirt, I don't know how to cross my legs, I just had my first bra fitting 2 weeks ago, and I've never had a subscription to Cosmo!
Today I was told I'm a tomboy. I can't disagree with the statement. I've been trying to get more girly recently (I realize that guys actually like this). So I'm playing with makeup. But hair? Forget it! And I just recently learned how to walk in heels and got used to wearing them for prolonged periods of time. I wear cheap bras right now (bc I'm 90% sure I'll have to buy a smaller size soon) and they're incredibly loud colors and prints. As a result you normally can see them under clothing. So I wear a white sports bra over the other bra. Haha. It actually works out well for me because it gives me more cleavage .
And I've also noticed I think like a boy. By that I mean: I hate PDA, I don't understand talking about my emotions (don't like to either), I don't ever think to give people hugs (it makes me uncomfortable actually), I don't like to show emotions in front of others. Haha..so yes, I feel like I missed that class too!
if there was a class for that gross stuff- i'm glad i missed it. haha.
you guys - erm i mean gals- are not alone! frankly i don't even want to learn most of this stuff. i shave my legs and sometimes put on make up. i get rid of stray wandering hairs. good enough!
so what if my dress shoes are Doc Martens and i am using make up i bought when i got married in 2002!? pfft.
Absolutely! I'm slowly getting better, but I'm still pretty clueless.
I don't know what makeup to buy, I don't know how to put it on, I don't know how to make my hair pretty, I don't know which clothes are "cute"...nevermind the fact that I'm too cheap to buy any of this stuff.
Even when I do spend time to make myself pretty, I just don't look as polished and "girly" as the other girls. That's not a weight thing, it's a clothes, shoes, makeup, hair thing.
I wouldn't really consider myself a tomboy, because i unfortunately LIKE to look pretty. I LIKE wearing dresses and make up and pretty shoes. I love when my hair looks good, but lord knows I can't make it pretty myself. I like shopping and chick flicks and girly stuff. So it's not that I don't care about my appearance or am totally void of femininity...I just never learned how to be girly properly.
I find myself being more girly lately. I even bought a strapless dress (granted I won't wear it out without a shrug/blouse/scarf over it). I think with losing the weight the confidence amps up a bit at least for me. I own more dresses now, than I have since I was a little girl and my mom still had control over what I wore. I like being able to fit into every situation, be it jeans and a t-shirt or blouse, dressy, or formal. I find I am a lot more able to now. I'm a trained in esthetics and I can tell what will look good on other people as far as makeup, but not so much myself. I don't own a hairdryer or a curling iron. I try to keep my nails polished, even with just clear or pale. I wear at least mascara and lipgloss when I go out or I look too tired.
Btw, I would never suggest cosmo to anyone. The "tips and tricks" and 10 ways to drive your man wild articles are the same old, same old, and down right stupid for the most part. (sorry I hate cosmo)
For me... it's not as much a lack of "girly" ability as much as a lack of "social" ability.
I can't flirt. I have no idea what flirting is, or anything.
I rarely react to teasing or pranks. Especially pranks. At work, pranks are constantly being pulled. Since starting there (a week and a half ago) I've had two pranks pulled on me. The first one, I just kind of smiled and stared at the person who jumped out at me, and went on with my business, and the second time, I screwed the spout on the water back tight before anything even happened, just thinking that it was randomly loose, not realizing until everyone went "aww, you ruined it" that it was done on purpose. >.<
I just can't react to people.
I never know what to wear. I dress... weird. I have no style. It's whatever I feel like wearing today. Who cares? They're clothes. If I want to look nice... I'll look nice. If I don't... too bad.
Completely!!!! I grew up in an extremely conservative, religious household and NONE of that was taught to me and now that I am not conservative or religious - I know a lot about those teachings but nothing about painting my nails!
I didn't wear a shred of make up until I was 20, had very little idea of hair care, shaving, waxing, etc... ****, I was 22 before I started to wear clear deodorant! Even now, just figuring out fashion is a big effort. Why can't I wear flip flops, jeans and a tank top all the time??
Around 21 years old, I started buying magazines to look for advice and basic examples to follow. I even started keeping a list of products that I saw advertised to try out.
I wish I knew how to style my hair. Everyone else seems to know how to do it without blinking..but I'm totally clueless at it. I just use a flat iron, and leave it at that. Whenever I try to curl it, the front looks pretty, but the back is a horrid mess.
I've been told I behave like Eliza Dolittle (before the makeover) I'm clumsy, clueless, have NO style whatsoever. Getting me in a dress makes the rain come down in my town. And how the heck do you do "charming?" I keep hearing this word, how girls are "charming" I've already accepted the fact that I'm considered more "cute" rather than "sexy" from a previous thread I did, but NOPE, never got girl 101. Glad I'm not alone.
See, with me, I finally feel I'm within my element. Now I can speak the same language as all the women around me.
I watched them expressing themselves in all kinds of clothing & grooming & gestures, and it was like I was only comfortable using a few of the words, here & there. Sometimes, if I tried something that looked good on them, it looked wrong on me. There are a lot of looks that don't translate well into plus-size. (And sometimes I wish they wouldn't even try.)
Now I've got the whole language at my command. And I find my tastes are very decided & emphatic. All along, I had an idea of what I was supposed to look like, and what I was supposed to be wearing, but I never achieved anything near my ideal. It's like: Look, I'm speaking their language now. Finally, I can pass as one of them; strangers will take me as a native of girl country. Well, not girl country exactly. My look & demeanor is not girly. Womanly. In the best way.
I always felt like a clod, so I made it a project to 'fix' myself. I always felt like I never learned what everyone else seemed to just know
What Not to Wear helped me a ton! Now I wear long, flared jeans, v-neck shirts, jewel tones, invest in shoes, better purses. If it wasnt right, I didnt buy it. I took my H and some GF's to help me shop, at first. Now it's easier w/o them. I also buy things AND RETURN them! This was a new thing for me, if I got it home and didnt like it I returned it w/o guilt!
I got several free make up demos at various department stores. Watch shows on make up, YOU TUBE has everything, now. WNtW also has a makeup segment that helped.
I asked around and found a great hair stylist and had him show me how to do my hair.
Research, then trial and error. It did not come naturally for me, but it did come! It took an investment of time and money! It can be done!
I think I missed Girl 101 - anyone else?
). 
