Going to therapy for the first time - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

paris81 · 08-10-2010, 01:16 PM

So tomorrow, I'm going to see a therapist for the first time ever, and I'm nervous/scared/many different emotions...

I think that a lot of my fears come from not knowing at all what to expect. I'm going to talk about a variety of issues that all relate to self-confidence and self worth. I'm a grad student, and there's no positive reinforcement at all for my work, and I pretty much always feel incompete which is bad because I place a lot of my identity in my academic/career goals.

I'm also going to talk about issues with relationships, specifically with men, but also with friends, and of course, weight and eating.

I'm afraid I won't be able to open up the the therapist and tell her what she needs to know to help me.

If anyone has any words of wisdom or encouragement, I'd appreciate it! Or if you've gone to therapy, it would be great to hear about what to expect! I'm not expecting a mircale cure, I'm in fact not really sure what I want to get out of it!

dragonwoman64 · 08-10-2010, 02:06 PM

I think it's good you have a list of issues you want to discuss. I'd start off by telling him/her your fears and anxiousness, and maybe discuss what you want to get out of it.

Therapists are like doctors or any other health professional, they have their strengths and weaknesses. One doctor may be more in sync with a particular patient than another. So if this one does feel quite right, I wouldn't feel bad about trying out someone else.

I think a therapist can be a great way to vent, sort out what's going on in your life, get help with problems and find other ways to approach issues that may prove more productive.

Hope that helps!

kendra · 08-10-2010, 02:12 PM

Good Job for going to therapy! I went to therapy for a few years for a couple of different issues, life balance, relationship issues, and self-confidence issues. I think it was very beneficial and it changed me. It allowed me to really analyze my actions and reactions to certain things in my life. It was nice to get an outsider's perspective and not have to worry about what they thought of me.
It is common to feel nervous but it won't last long. You are there to talk about your issues and the therapist will guide you along to get you to really think. Don't be afraid to tell the therapist that you are nervous and afraid to open up too much. It will take alot of work on your part but I think you can do it.

paris81 · 08-10-2010, 02:56 PM

Thanks so much for your thoughts, both of you! It's all good to hear.

I think that talking about things with a third party, as you say, someone on the outside of my life, will help to give me some perspective, but not act like a friend who is telling me what I want to hear.

Eliana · 08-10-2010, 03:11 PM

I've been to many with my DH but none specifically for me. I can tell you from that point of view only to make sure you click. If you get a funny vibe from your therapist feel free to find another. We've had some good along with the bad...weird. I remember the first one was anxious to hypnotize us, not sure why. I can't type her words because you'd have to hear them to appreciate her tone of voice. Suffice it to say her voice made us feel like we were in a porn film. "That's goooood. That's REAL gooooood." Just didn't work for me.

But his current therapists, the whole darn medical facility, is amazing.

They all wait you out. That's a good thing to know. There may be awkward silences because often those silences will bring out more in you, which is a good thing. A good therapist knows not to put words in your mouth.

jennyplain · 08-10-2010, 03:25 PM

I've been seeing a therapist since September of last year about my food issues. It has been amazing, and I've made a lot of progress. Good luck with it!

Vixsin · 08-10-2010, 03:27 PM

I just recently started therapy about a month ago and I have to say that I LOVE it!! I love my therapist. She is great and so supportive.

I started therapy to help me with my self worth issues and just wanting to generally feel good about myself and my life around me. She is helping me get comfortable in my own skin.

My only piece of advice for you is to be 100% totally honest with yourself and your therapist. He/she may say things that you don't like. Be open to what they say and then really think about it. Chances are you will come to an amazing discovery about yourself in the process!

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you keep us updated on your progress and your feelings!

ubergirl · 08-10-2010, 03:48 PM

good for you! I used to think about it a lot but never actually did it. I'll bet I could have sorted out some of my food issues sooner with some outside help.

Just finding 3FC really helped me get out of my bubble.

paris81 · 08-10-2010, 05:52 PM

This is all so encouraging! Thank you so much everyone, I feel better and a bit more hopeful about the whole thing!

susiemartin · 08-10-2010, 08:07 PM

Trust me - it's hard work but you're going to love it

bright83 · 08-11-2010, 10:36 AM

I hope this catches you before your appointment today. I have gone through numerous therapists due to issues with depression, anxiety and my weight. Like a previous poster said, make sure you find a therapist that you can click with. I gave up on therapy alot of times because I just didn't feel comfortable with the person. I too found a therapist that wanted to hypnotise me and take me to my happy place! Another wanted to blame all my problems on my mothers!

I have finally found a person now that I can really open up to and feel comfortable with. If nothing else, the therapist will be a great sounding board for you. There were ways I thought about things that I never even realized were unhealthy till I said them to my therapist. Also if you are too nervous to really open up the first time, just talk to the therapist about your general problems. You do not need to spill your guts on the first visit...especially because sometimes you will figure out from that one appointment that this might not be the best therapist for you. I really cannot stress about how important it us for you to feel comfortable with your therapist. I wish I had figured that out much sooner than i did!

paris81 · 08-11-2010, 03:57 PM

I just got back from the therapists, and it went really well. She's very nice and open and I think she'll be a good fit. It felt really good to talk, and I felt that I was able to open up enough (although she just asked a lot of questions, and I answered them, so it was pretty easy). I think it might be more difficult in other sessions, but so far so good!

kendra · 08-11-2010, 05:23 PM

I am so glad that it went well. I was wondering about how it went.

EagleRiverDee · 08-11-2010, 05:56 PM

I went to therapy and it helped. One thing that might help is- there's nothing you can say that is going to shock this person. They aren't judging you. You're paying them to help you, so open up and be honest because it's the only way it will work.

Expect to cry. A lot. It's part of the process, and nothing to be ashamed of.

If you don't click with your therapist, try another one. It's not "one therapist fits all". When I went I had a lady psychologist and a male psychiatrist. The man I couldn't open up with. The woman I could.

dragonwoman64 · 08-11-2010, 07:31 PM

glad to hear it

It's been really helpful for me.