[MindiV]

At what age did you START having children?

My husband and I are still in the "not sure if we want to" stage. We've been married just over three years. I'm 29 and think 2/3 of the time I DO want to have kids, but sometimes I question it. He's 50/50 right now. I'd set a "deadline" of the age of 30 but I'm considering pushing it back. His mom had his youngest brother at around 35 and had problems with blood pressure, etc., and my mom had me at 35 and also had trouble. His sister had her little boy at 31 and had issues with swelling, tension and blood pressure that lasted FOREVER after he was born. It just scares me that pregnancy after 30 might be harder on my body.

So just wondering...when did you all become first time parents, and how did it go for you?

[froggydawgy]

Had twins at 29 and a singleton at 33. No problems.

[nelie]

I'm not a mom but I know a lot of people with pregnancies in their late 30s/early 40s.

My mom had her first pregnancy at the age of 18 but was filled with problems and eventually was stillborn. So I'd say that you can be younger with problems, you can be older with problems.

My aunt had her first (and only) at age 35, I know another lady who had a pregnancy at 35 and then another at 41, neither of them had problems. I had another aunt who had a pregnancy in her early 40s and also didn't have problems.

[Stripes]

I sometimes wish i had my boys later, I had my eldest at 17, the next at 18 and the youngest at 22/23

[sacha]

I was 24 when I got pregnant and 25 when I had the baby. I think if you want one 2/3 of the time but hesitate, it is more of a hesitation of the unknown rather than "I do not want kids", especially at 29. It IS a frightening prospect (I was very nervous too). Have you considered a pre-conception checkup with the doctor? Individual health is much more a factor than any pre-determined age.

And lastly... pregnancy is such a short time, it passes quickly! The mom stage will last until the day you die, so if you are older and feel more equipped for that part, the better.

[1bighog]

I was 20, 25, 27, and 29 when I had children. While I had more energy when I was 20, there were really no differences in my first pregnancy and my fourth, health-wise (plus when I was 29 I had all those other kids to keep up with, lol.)

[Matilda08]

I was 20 and 26 now im 30 and I dont want no more lol

[MindiV]

I think it's BEING pregnant that scares me the most! I think once a baby is here, our main problems would be support. I've got no family where we live, and his family isn't very hands-on or helpful. Also, childcare is non-existent in my town, and I'd have to keep working.

One of my biggest fears stopping me from being a 100% YES right now, and also one of the reasons I don't want to wait too long, is my mom.

My mom was 55 when she died several years ago, and I was NOT ready for her to go! I was in my early 20s, confused, in college and still needed her a lot (still do!). I know she didn't take care of herself very well and all - but I'm just terrified I'll have a child in my 30s and die before they're grown and on their own. Kinda stupid fear I guess, but that's a lot of it...

[WardHog]

I was 37 when I had my first, and 39 when I had my second. Both were healthy, routine pregnancies. You have plenty of time.

[Fressca]

I got pregnant at 34, and was 35 when my son was born. The timing was good for me - I don't think I was mature enough to be a mother any earlier than that!!

ETA: And it was an easy pregnancy, healthy baby. My body bounced right back - I was 140 when I got pregnant, gained about 25lbs, and was 140 six weeks after the birth. I give breast feeding a lot of the credit for that...

[klambeth82]

my husband and I had our first child when I was 21, he was 22. Our 2nd child when I was 25, he was 26. There is really no right age to have a baby, it's just when you are ready.

[Amy9]

I was 16 with my first pregnancy. Lots of issues with blood pressure, swelling, huge weight gain, Gestational Diabetes.. 23 with my 2nd child - Lots of issues with that pregnancy also. Breastfeeding helps you bounce back and lose weight really quickly. So many benefits I am a huge advocate. I dont think my body likes being pregnant. I know my mind didnt. I was so uncomfortable during my pregnancies.

I am 35 now... no health issues so far and I want to keep it that way hence I must lose this weight.

[sept15lija]

I had my son when I just turned 30, and my daughter when I was 32 (this past Jan). I loved being pregnant....I feel wonderful and just adore that time. I am sad that we are probably done with babies, I feel kind of done but I would love to be pregnant again anyways!

I'm sorry you lost your mom so early, that's got to be hard. There's no reason to think it would happen to your children though, if you want kids go for it! Everyone doubts whether they're ready or not, and no timing is perfect. Everything works out somehow though. If there's no childcare in your town, maybe you could make a killing setting up a daycare!

[jigglefree]

I was 43 when I had my daughter. I only wanted one child so we're done. Unless there's some freak accident like the Mirena quits working or something like that. I was 247 when I got pregnant and had NO PROBLEMS whatsoever. No swelling, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, nothing. Not even bizarre cravings, I just cried all the time for the first 6 months. I actually lost about 15 pounds while pregnant...not trying just eating healthy and not eating for two. Just made I had my necessary nutrients and took my vitamins. The delivery was perfect as well.

Don't be scared.

[Wild Vulpix]

Have you and your husband considered adoption?