[Ciao]

"You're beautiful." Simple two letter words, yet it can have such a major impact on people.
I'm doing a project on beauty. Who defines beauty? Webster? No.

My friend today got called fat. Flat out - straight to her face. My heart aches for her.
She's such a beautiful girl, no matter what any jerk has to say to her.
I wish I had the right words to say to her. I wish I could make her feel better.

So to anyone who's been mistaken to be pregnant, or called fat, or called ugly, or even thinks themselves as being big...
I just wanted to tell you you're beautiful. I know we're all here to lose weight and feel great.
But us women are always beautiful throughout our journey. Don't EVER forget that.

I hope you all reach your goal weight someday and I hope you have the BIGGEST smile on your face when you do!
And for those of you who have met your goal, congrats!

[bex]

I'll say it back to you. You're beautiful!

Thank you so much, you really have no idea how much I needed that.

[Asherdoodles87]

Lately, I just can't think of myself as beautiful. I am not sure if I ever can again.

[Ciao]

@ bex; Thank you so much.

@ asher; Just keep your chin up. You've lost 50 pounds already, and you should be celebrating about that. I do hope things get better for you.

[Dippy Chip]

Yeah, but what about those of us who just plain aren't beautiful?

For those of us not blessed (or cursed?) with beauty, telling ourselves that we're beautiful is simply a form of self-denial and self-delusion. Words alone can't alter the fact that there are some women who are beautiful and some women who aren't, and no amount of positive self-reinforcement or self-esteem will change that fundamental fact.

I'm all for being self-confident, self-loving, and proud of who you are regardless of whether you fit some cultural definition of beauty, but I'm also all for being honest and not shying away from truths, regardless of how painful they are. Why should facing truths - even unpalatable ones - be such a bad thing?

I'd love someone to convince me otherwise, but I really can't see the benefit to be gained in telling myself I'm beautiful when by all objective measures, it simply isn't true. Seems to me I'd just be setting myself up for disappointment!

Just my opinion, and I'd be interested in hearing what other folks have to say on the subject.

[Ciao]

Who said beauty had to be external? Even inner beauty is STILL beauty.
I've met plenty of people who are - for the sake of argument - "plain janes" on the outside,
but on the inside they're much much more.

I don't find it at all self-denial to tell yourself you're beautiful.
Because, quite frankly, who's right is it to tell you you aren't beautiful?
Who's right is it to tell you what beauty is anyways?

EDIT: I didn't mean for this at all to be a debating issue.
It was suppose to just encourage and inspire women, ya know?
I'm sorry if anyone took this the wrong way.

[kaplods]

Originally Posted by Dippy Chip

I really can't see the benefit to be gained in telling myself I'm beautiful when by all objective measures, it simply isn't true. Seems to me I'd just be setting myself up for disappointment!

Just my opinion, and I'd be interested in hearing what other folks have to say on the subject.

There are no "objective measures" of beauty. Beauty is subjective and truly is in the eye of the beholder. Not only the eyes of the majority in a culture but in the eye of the individual as well.

Standards of beauty change over time, and they don't just "poof" change (one day you're beautiful and the next you're ugly). They change because people (one at a time) disagree with the cultural standard, until the uncommon opinion becomes the new standard.

I wouldn't have called my husband attractive or sexy before I got to know him. He wasn't repulsive, but he wasn't a stud, either. Now he's my favorite person to look at. His face is my favorite face. Looking at him makes me happy - it fills me with joy. What is beauty if it isn't that?

[midwife]

Mmmm.....I have the privilege of seeing lots of women in lots of situations. You know how there are people who say all newborns are cute? I say all women are beautiful. To the OP, thank you! Reading "you're beautiful" made me smile.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

[Airforcechick07]

Originally Posted by Dippy Chip

Yeah, but what about those of us who just plain aren't beautiful?

For those of us not blessed (or cursed?) with beauty, telling ourselves that we're beautiful is simply a form of self-denial and self-delusion. Words alone can't alter the fact that there are some women who are beautiful and some women who aren't, and no amount of positive self-reinforcement or self-esteem will change that fundamental fact..

As bad as this is I agree with her.....Yes you can argue with external and internal beauty....but strictly on an external beauty......you are gonna have beautiful women, plain janes, and ugly women....its a fact of life. You can embrace who you are flaught your best features and go out into the world with a big smile but the fact still remains we live in a material world where beauty has standards and molds.....so the best we can do is embrace who we are make the best of what we have and be happy cause there is always someone who looks worse then you......

[goodforme]

I will never be beautiful by society's cookie-cutter standards. I am too big. Too loud. Too obnoxious. Too socially stunted. My hair is a nice mousy brown with ample gray running through it, that I refuse to do anything with. My eyes are pretty (hazel), but they are attached to this face which has acne scars and moles and large pores and wrinkles and I don't wear makeup to hide or enhance any part of it. As skinny as I ever get I will still be a large, tall, bumbling woman, what my grandmother might have called a "handsome" woman. I will never be pretty in the sense that models are pretty, but believe you me:

I AM beautiful.

And I bet when everyone's beauty fades, as physical things are wont to do, I will still be beautiful. From my heart and soul out of my eyes.

Thank you for the compliment OP!

[Airforcechick07]

You probably cant tell from my picture but alot of the same complaints you have, I also have....Ance and scars yea I had to be put on accutane and still have acne somewhat, but I have mastered makeup and making it look good. My hair is also just a moussy brown but I try to keep it highlighted and fresh looking.....I think there are tons of things we can do to enhance what we have to the fullest!!!

[AnnieDrews]

Originally Posted by goodforme

I will never be beautiful by society's cookie-cutter standards. I am too big. Too loud. Too obnoxious. Too socially stunted. My hair is a nice mousy brown with ample gray running through it, that I refuse to do anything with. My eyes are pretty (hazel), but they are attached to this face which has acne scars and moles and large pores and wrinkles and I don't wear makeup to hide or enhance any part of it. As skinny as I ever get I will still be a large, tall, bumbling woman, what my grandmother might have called a "handsome" woman. I will never be pretty in the sense that models are pretty, but believe you me:

I AM beautiful.

And I bet when everyone's beauty fades, as physical things are wont to do, I will still be beautiful. From my heart and soul out of my eyes.

Thank you for the compliment OP!

Amen, amen, amen sistah!!!! Thanks for this thread because I'm beautiful, too.

[Alicia87]

Thank you!! What a wonderful thread to start

and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that poem by Maya Angelou

[LovebirdsFlying]

Everyone who has posted in this thread (including meeeeee--forcing myself to say it) is beautiful.

For those who don't have finely chiseled facial features, I'm sure there is something else that is beautiful on you. Your hands? Feet? Eyes? Belly button? Appendix? You have to be beautiful somewhere.

I was asked by the author to pass this poem along.

"A Poem to the Reader"
Stephen Rodriguez

Oh, you! You precious being, look at you!
You gift, you touch of color, did you know
how much you mean to me? I’d gladly go
through tangled forests, I would gladly do
whatever it could take to make it through,
so I could hold you close and feel you glow.
I’d swim a million rivers just to throw
my tired arms around your light, oh you!

And if you said you didn’t know my name,
I’d say that names are worthless, anyway,
And if you didn’t know my face, I’d say
that that’s the only reason that I came.
And if you said you love me just the same,
the sun would set and life would drift away.


-This is a poem to humanity-
-Please, know and love yourself-
-Share your love with others-

[ddc]

This thread made me teary eyed.

Yes, we are all beautiful-dammit