Good for you! "Rewarding" a small mistake with an extended binge just encourages small mistakes in the future!
When I eat too much, it's something I planned way, way in advance--like, right now I can tell you that I am having biscuits and gravy and bacon the evening of May 15th. I'll have 2 biscuits and like 5 pieces of bacon. I will probably go get a scoop of butter pecan ice cream afterwards.
I have other plans, for later months (I indulge once a month).
I don't feel guilty or weird at all when I do this because it's part of the plan, and in fact doesn't affect my weight loss at all. Knowing I have these "real" meals once a month allows me to much more easily control myself the other 29 days.
I was just having this conversation the other day. For most of my life the response was an astounding "eh, forget about it. Today is *fill in the day*, I'll get back on track on Monday." And then I proceeded to EAT!!! Get it all in! I have just begun a new journey and this site has afforded me the opportunity to talk about this stuff to people who know exactly how I feel and live. I am finding that when I write it down, I have more free space in the noggin to work out other things. So, I have stayed on track today and didn't beat myself up over the wonderful chocolate chip cookie my hubby made. It was good. Yes, it, not "they". I stopped at one and onto water.
Most of my overeating is from a binge about to happen, so I try to reason with myself that going full out binging will do way more damage than the handful of 'bad' food I've just had. It's hard because I really feel like I've blown everything in that handful.
I usually resolve to do better, and exercise more.
I tell myself not to let a small misstep turn into a catastrophe. I used to think that if I indulged in a high-calorie meal, that meant my day was "ruined" and I would just eat whatever I wanted. That lead to nothing but feeling gross and depressed about my lack of will power.
Today, I had a calzone for lunch. Not a healthy choice! But for dinner, I had a salad chocked full of fresh veggies. My old mindset would have gone out for mexican food!
I wouldn't say that I beat myself up, but I definitely feel *badly* about it. But I think that's a good thing. If I didn't feel badly about the poor choices that I make - I'd just go on making them over and over again and in a blink of an eye I'd be right back up to 287 lbs, of that I am certain.
Congratulations for being kinder to yourself and not letting a slip derail you!
I don't like to plan. I like being spontaneous. While I don't plan meals way ahead of time I have structured my eating for moments of abandon. My breakfasts are usually under 300 calories and my lunches are moderate. I don't normally have snacks but I do have healthy snacks on hand just in case I want one. Since I'm conservative during the day by the evening I have a nice calorie buffer. If I haven't had a snack during the day and I really feel like going out to eat then I do. I try to make good choices at the restaurant and recognize that even by doing so I'm going to be consuming far more calories than I would have if I had cooked at home. If I don't go out and I want a special treat at night I'll have a low calorie ice cream treat like skinny cow sandwiches.
I've been eating much healthier for about three months now and while I have an occasional "splurge" meal I don't feel as if I've fallen off the wagon yet. I think it is partially because I prepare, but I don't plan far ahead. So if have an 800 calorie meal at a restaurant on a Wednesday night I don't feel awful about it because Sunday is my splurge evening. (If that makes sense.) But when I'm deciding on any snacking or splurges I think about how I've been eating the days previous. I don't end up going out three nights in a row. It usually is about once a week. I'm carefully tracking my calories including the splurge meals so I know where I stand.
When I do end up eating something higher calorie than I usually would I don't feel anxious about it because I know that I can work it in. I believe because I don't have that anxiety I'm not overindulging. I'll just have and enjoy a much smaller portion of the food than I would have when I was packing on the pounds.
I also don't keep junk in my house and stock up on lots of good food that I can throw together at any time. Going out to eat isn't as tempting when I have so many nutritious foods I could use to have a hot meal on the table in short order.
Most of my life when I overate at a meal, I would think, "I am weak and just can't stick to a meal plan." Then I would give up.
Those days are over!
Now, my eating too much usually involves an extra helping of veggies or something that is not too bad. Occasionally, it will be something that is 200 or 300 calories over, but that is very rare. When that does happen, I tell myself that 2 or 3 hundred extra calories is not going to cause me to gain all my weight back, forgive myself and get right back on plan.
To mitigate the damage, I average my calories for a few days. I do that anyway, so any day that is over by a couple of hundred calories is balanced out by a few days of being under calories. This really works for me!
Today, I had a calzone for lunch. Not a healthy choice! But for dinner, I had a salad chocked full of fresh veggies. My old mindset would have gone out for mexican food!
LOL.
Yeah, that's what I'm aiming for. Food happens, but it's what I do afterwards that I try to focus on.
I'm harder on myself if it's just falling back on bad old habits. I just don't want to go back there, so I give myself a stern talking to. But when I'm out with friends (only a few times a months) I try to make good choices but I don't obsess about it. I'd rather focus on my friends than my food. But a fun lunch with my girlfriends does not translate to a (large) consolation pizza for dinner.
I calorie count, so if I eat a high calorie meal (usually restaurants trip me up) then I try and adjust down a bit for a few meals. I don't let it be anything other than what it is, a high calorie day. But this is very different than if I stopped counting, if I intentionally overate or tried to justify it somehow. If my old behaviours are tangled up in the eating, then there would be a problem to address. I stay on top of everything by blogging every day. When I am out of touch with my feelings, I lapse into binge behaviors. Been both overeating and binge free for over 8 months now. Yippie! Every single bite has been counted.
When I eat too much, I don't really berate myself or get mad at myself... I just feel EXTRA fat... waaayyyyy bloated... it's a disgusting feeling, really, sick even. I hate that feeling! And yet, from time to time, it still happens. Less so than used-to-be tho, since I read the Beck diet book; I learned how to be OK with throwing food out or not eating everything that happens to be on my plate, etc.
Usually, during "TOM", I get some wicked devilish cravings, and usually end up over-stuffing myself at least once. Bleh. But then I'm good for the rest of the month, so I guess it's not too bad!
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 05-04-2010 at 03:57 PM.
I worked an over night shift last night, and every time my work has the over nights, there is always pizza and wings and chips and candy. I intended last night to not give in at all. But when it came down to it i was tired and i was hungry and the pizza just smelled to good. Now i am beating my self up. The scales shows a 2 lb difference and i just feel so guilty about eating that stuff when i have been doing so well.
Usually i would continue to binge. I would start over on Sunday or something like that. But i have worked out every day for the past 9 days, and im going to make today 10. I am tired of starting over. I know this 2 lbs is probably water weight from the high levels of sodium i ate and . Instead I'm having a lower calorie day to day to make up for my mini binge and am going to hop on my bike in a few for a good 45 minutes.
I'm also a calorie counter. Yesterday I went to dinner and had a burger and a margarita. I felt a little guilty, but didn't beat myself up over it; I later went to the gym and worked out for an extra 45 minutes. I think we all need to indulge once in awhile in order to stay sane and on track for the rest of the days.
When you eat too much, ladies...
