I feel so dumb for posting a lot lately, so sorry about that.
But I went to see family on Sunday. They are a very food-y side. They had a bbq, which wasn't bad I actually had small portions of everything I wanted and then came dessert. My uncle (whom I think I'll mention elsewhere in this post) piled on a crap load of strawberry shortcake. I ate it all. Twice, once after lunch and once for dessert. And I had a crap load of chips and dip and then today, today was AWFUL. I had a massive pancake with yogurt for breakfast, the butteriest grilled cheese and soggiest french fries I've ever had and then I came home and ate and ate and ate until there was nothing of my interest left. A lot. More than a lot, like a weeks worth of calories all in like today and yesterday. I just want to curl up and die because I feel so awful. I mean I get that just have to "keep going" and I can. I mean I can "keep going" but the MENTAL scar of this binge, of what I've done, and worrying about how it's affected me is going to stay there and bug me. And the family? I mean they always say "how skinny" my baby cousin is (she's three so I know this is going to sound ridiculous) but then they always imply how big everyone else is and I'm kind of being included in there. And my uncle and his wife well they've been trying to "get healthier" and that's great, it really is, but tbh it bugs me to no end. Like they talk about how long they've walked and how long they haven't eaten white bread for and things like that but I feel so...angry sometimes when they talk about it. They are still under the impression that I do absolutely nothing. Like yesterday they were planning on going for a walk today and they were like "Hey Rachel you want to go with us? Oh haha probably not you wouldn't want to either get up early or hike". ***** I am active. It makes me unbelievably angry to hear that, I mean I've been counting for like three months and it's been really hard for me to stay on track. I think that maybe part of the reason I've let myself get this far off is because of comments like that...if they can't see any progress why should I continue? You know? That's how I felt. I'm crying because I'm so angry and upset, I really am. I've blown the whole week on one day and...I'm just so upset. I'm so sorry for being so annoying in posting but....I just...I don't know...
Last edited by bunnythesAINT; 04-19-2010 at 05:12 PM.
Hey you have lost almost 30 lbs- that is nothing to sneeze at!
I say this with love and respect- screw your family. (No really screw them)
Okay you "messed up"- now it's time to brush off those crumbs and go get back to business. Take your walk, run your mile, and at your next meal eat on plan again. Drink lots of water and you SHOW THEM that you aren't lazy and don't you dare give up!
I messed up this weekend, and I told myself yesterday- oh no bee- you aren't going to do this to yourself! So I made an ON PLAN meal, and decided to back to my phase 1 of south beach for a week. I gave in to some cravings after going to a friend's bday and the rest of the weekend was full of stuff I am NOT supposed to eat! But it's okay- I stopped it before too much damage was done and now I'm on back track. Remember, it's all about progress, you'll make mistakes, learn from them. Even if that includes at the next family gathering saying NO to dessert. Specially if that is your trigger.
Chin up- you are doing well- just remember don't give up- don't let "them" win!
i understand how you feel but you've already lost 28 pounds!! that is a huge accomplishement! maybe revise your goal for the week to break even, it's not to late! hit the gym to make up for calories eaten and please don't give up on yourself! You can get back on track and expect a negative number for next week. and even if your family can't see a difference yet (or they're too ignorant to acknowledge it) I bet that you can see/feel a difference in yourself! don't give up! you are too important!! do this for YOU first!! Also, if your family doesn't respect your journey maybe eat alone then go to visit.. just a thought, i know it's easier said than done ~hugs~
i also gained weight this week. 1 lbs! i'm blaming it on the wine in indulged in this weekend and you know what, i'm back on track and don't regret it one bit! it was delicous!
First of all, don't feel dumb for posting a lot- that's what this place is for!
Why is it family can be the best at derailing a diet and making you want to head for the food as fast as you can? You might have had a pretty bad binge, but you didn't blow the week! You have lost a great amount of weight so far and honestly, I bet your family noticed and were just jealous. Next time your aunt and uncle talk about how freakin healthy they are- one up them! Tell them how much you have lost or how much you exercise. Or if they make smart*** comments about you not wanting to hike with them- tell them no, they probably couldn't keep up with you! I know it's easier said then done, but my family can be the same way a lot of the time.
I have three aunts that are overweight and I am convinced they try to fatten me up because they are jealous I'm young and single. They know I'm a vegetarian and they know I don't like rich food- and that's somehow always what is on deck when I visit. I refuse to eat when I visit them (partially just to spite them) because they make the most unhealthy and fattening food.
I digress- prove your family wrong about you. You are doing this for you- but think about in a few months how much more your weightloss is going to show. It's not worth it to throw it all away. Would that make you happy? Or would losing weight make you happy? Bingeing sucks and it takes me a few days to forgive myself for it also. You can do it- start tomorrow.
Okay, chick, get a grip. You blew it. Yesterday and today. And now it's over. And it is YOUR choice whether to let it happen again or not. And whether or not to let your family have so much control over your life that you would sabotage your own health. NO CAN DO!
You've done really well prior to this. You know how to lose the weight, watch what you eat and exercise. Even though you feel bad now, there's nothing you can do to fix what's already happened. But you CAN change the furutre by your actions and behavior. Just get back on plan. Figure out how you could have done things differently (don't beat yourself up, just try to come up with an alternate ending in case you are in the same situation again). Forewarned is forearmed and you will be in a better position to make good choices next time. You can let this be a horrible crisis and continue down a path of destruction, or you can use it as an opportunity to learn from. I know you will use it as an opportunity becuase you've already demonstrated your ability to choose a healthy direction.
You will be okay. And the sooner you get back on track, the sooner you can put this experience behind you and get on with living the way you want to.
Barb
Last edited by angelskeep; 04-19-2010 at 06:39 PM.
I find I'm lousy at giving advice about dealing with family because I have family issues of my own, but I just wanted to say that you can post ANY time and as MANY times as you want! It's going to be okay! You feel like crap now and you might feel that way for the next few days, but if you stick to your plan, exercise, and drink lots of water (all things you know to do!) then you'll start feeling better. Just keep going! 28lbs down is AMAZING and you should be proud of yourself.
And to offer a little more support, I too, get mad when family members go on and on about being healthier but then do the exact opposite of what they're preaching! That kind of hypocrisy would bug anyone. You can be better by showing with actions rather than words how to be healthy!
Just like one bad quiz doesn't mean you cannot ever graduate from school... One crazy day doesn't mean you cannot ever meet your healthy goals.
Shake this off, grit your teeth, harness the anger toward something positive, and step out on track again! "Success" is not about never getting knocked down. It's about always getting back up. So get up again! You can do this!
Don't ever apologize for posting here - that's why this board exists! There are so many people here who have gone through and are STILL going through the exact same issues and emotions. We understand, we care and we want to help!
Please don't let your weekend ruin one more moment of your day. You really do have to move on. You can not continue to torture yourself for the things you ate on Saturday and Sunday. It's over, it's gone - it's done. Each eating decision you make is brand new, so do your best to make it a good one! Let go of the past. If you can, pretend it didn't even happen! You've already mentally punished yourself enough for the weekend indulgence. The longer you think on and linger on your "mistakes", the more it will damage you. Let it go. Eat an apple, walk a mile and forget about the weekend!
This is coming from my inner-most thoughts because I do the EXACT same thing you are doing, and it hurts me. We are human, we're going to make mistakes and go off plan, but we can't torture ourselves for it. You had a little break in your plan, that's all. Now just get back on track and SMILE because you know deep down that you WILL be successful! :-)
Don't bet that you family couldn't see your progress!!!! When a lot of family members are overweight and one family member starts losing weight, it is very intimidating to the others.
I take it that the uncle that's trying to get healthy and talks nonstop about it, is the one that gave you the strawberry shortcake? If so, it sounds to me like he was intimidated by your weight loss. Your weight loss could be stealing from his glory. Families can be a very jealous bunch. If he ever asks you to go for a walk with them again, maybe you should say, "sure" and when you guys start walking, get a head of them, stop, turn around and say, "oh, am I walking to fast for you to keep up?"
Hang in there. Posting here was a great idea! Why hold it all in?? Go to your mirror and say to that gorgeous person in the mirror: "I forgive you." Say it over and over. You made some mis-steps. SO?? We ALL do. Make a plan for tomorrow. then the next... take a deep breath, plan & move forward.
We've all got relatives like this. They've got their own emotional baggage full of stink. They play the "I'm superior" attitude and try to trip you up. Bounce right back up to the top of your game! The best comeback is to be back on track immediately, and not let them keep you from winning your race.
If they had asked you to stay fat so they would feel good, would you? Of course not. That would make no sense, especially if they care for you at all. So how much less should you empower their meanness to hurt you? This is definitely the time to say "I'll show you I can do it!"
Turn your anger into thrust to send you soaring like a rocket toward your goal!
Posting often keeps our thoughts focused on making right choices. It helps! That and sharing info are the main purpose of this site. Even a hard time like this, when shared, helps us all strengthen our resolve. We can be your friends who surround you when you run to us to escape the playground bully. If you come over to our corner, you'll feel strong again. So come post often.
Whew okay. I calmed down last night and after reading all of this this morning I feel so much better. I had a nice, on plan breakfast, and I will exercise today and all that. I really needed this and thank you for all the support. I had a nice long think yesterday and I realized a lot of what you guys said to me is true and I just lost sight of it being angry like I was.
Good job! Remember whenever you are angry you can use it to accomplish something. Don't let it make you stop; use it to propel yourself towards something good. God gave us our emotions, right? So when we are feeling them, find the good it can do for you.
Yeah, week=blown. Weekends are soo hard. I don't know what to do like I know what I'm suppose to do, I know what I should do, but I can't do it. I feel soo...confused. Every bite I eat I feel like I'm getting bigger and bigger and the worse I feel the more I want to eat. I'm so angry. Again. I tried keeping a food journal, tried occupying myself but my eating schedule was thrown out of whack. I know it's all me, I know that in the end I have to find reasons not to eat and not to binge but I can't find any. I just feel like this is worthless, like there are days where I wonder what the nuts am I doing? My friend's mom said I lost weight, I think that may have been a reason. That someone noticed, I don't know why but I don't want anyone to notice. I mean I want to lose the weight, if I didn't I wouldn't be here trying, but I don't want people looking at ME. I'm not comfortable with me, I can't stand to look at me. I honestly have never had a week like this since before I started trying to lose weight, I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused.
Last edited by bunnythesAINT; 04-25-2010 at 06:13 PM.
I am miserable.
~hugs~
