What a great post! I was almost crying when I read it. I've developed a real unkindness towards myself. I wish that weren't so. I'm petrified of excuses. Even the valid ones. So sometimes I fail before I start, because I'm too strict, and too self-hating.
Where does that hatred come from? Well.. duh.. it comes from society sometimes. Let's not forget how we worship the slim. As someone who suffered both ends of the stick, and in-between.. I can say that I was *listened to*.. much much more, when I was slim, than when I'm fat. People automatically assumed I was stronger, kinder, more self-disciplined, and less slovenly, when I was slimmer. In fact.. that's not necessarily true. I was.. when it came to food.. but not anything else.
I was treated with more respect when I was slimmer. I was appreciated more when I was slimmer.
I wonder why it's hard to keep up a healthy self-esteem???
Sandie
|