[happytobeamomof2]

I am so confused... I am feeling so weird these days... I am eating well, sleeping okay (i have two young kids and am a single mom with almost no visitation by their dad) so it is as good as can be expected. I have a great 'new' boyfriend too... so why am i "down" right now!?!?!?

I have been over 50 days without a binge... It is almost like I am missing it... like I am missing the 'drama' and self-loathing... like i am missing a good friend... "binge" ...

i guess i am just confused - i feel like i should be happy... i am happy actually... i just feel like i am going through the motions and am not so connected....

maybe if i set a mini-goal for myself... be it exercise or shopping spree or something... need to shake things up?

thanks for letting me vent!

[evoo]

Are there certain favorite foods you're missing? Maybe allow yourself a small treat and then get right back on track?

The mini-goals are a good idea too. I think sometimes we need that material (or tactile) acknowledgment of our efforts.

Whatever you do hang in there, it'll get better. This time of year just seems prime for putting people in a funk anyway.

[happytobeamomof2]

thank you!!

i am going out with the girls on fri night so maybe i will put aside a few calories to enjoy a dessert with them instead of just watching them eat them (for a change!)

i think it is the weather too... and maybe that i am just not sure how to be 'truly' happy? like if i dont have a challenge or goal or drama to deal with, i am at a loss to 'just be' ? like i am waiting for the axe to fall or somethign?!?!

oh well... what is important is that i am not turnign to food right now... and that there are fabulous ladies out there, like you, to help me remember that...and give me virtual hugs to make it all better!



thanks!!!

[evoo]

You're very welcome!

I think the dessert idea is a great idea. A little treat now and then won't hurt.

I'm in MI so our winters aren't quite canadian winters, but they're long and cold enough with just about zero sun so I get where you're coming from on the weather. I keep telling myself spring is just around the corner.... just around the corner... just around the corner...

[three herring]

Whoa....on the "little" treat. Ask yourself seriously if that is exactly the kind of thinking that led you right into being overweight, thinking that a "little" bite of this or that cannot hurt. Stir things up with something other than food.

Just my thought on it.

I feel the same way. I am nearly 6 months into my diet, and feel blah and weird and almost like a robot. I eat, I sleep, I play, and there is no "obesssion" to obsess about. lol. Dieting in some strange way is like mourning. I feel a loss of some sort that has nothing to do with weight. I think the whole diet/binge drama serves a purpose that keeps us feeling all kinds of emotions, but when a diet is well underway and routine, there isn't the highs and lows we so often fell into.

It's not about winter for me, I travel all over America so we are in all kinds of weather and temps. It's not about wanting treats, or wishing to eat more. It seems to hang on losing the "purpose" I hung on to for so long. I keep asking myself....now what? I am not even near goal and I am feeling lost when I should be excited that I weigh less than I did this time last year.

[saef]

This is just speculation. But maybe, with the drama of food out of the way, you're starting to feel sort of existential & lacking. Like, "What is my purpose? Is just to go through the day's tasks?"

Maybe food had become one of your great pleasures, and now you don't have as many diversions or moments that give you pleasure.

It means you need to enrich your life a little. Get some more content & action into your life. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Have you been getting out & doing anything with friends? Do you have any plans in the near term that you are excited about?

If the rest of your life is filled out a little more, maybe food will drop back into its proper place, in the background.

I don't know you, but I do know a lot of women who ask themselves about their purpose & how they are spending their time & whether the "fun meter" is running a little low.

[Papillion Mom]

I don't know why but I need something to obsess about. If I don't I automatically turn to a food obsession. Not always bad since it usually means I will be cooking more interesting food and such but still not something I enjoy obsessing about. Right now I am doing great (I have MANY things to obsess about). We are going to Disneyland in March, Disney World in May (yes, we love Disney) and Moving to a different state in June!

I find that even if I can't actually afford a vacation at the time (which is usual) dreaming about it helps my obsessive side. Or I will go and try to make a new budget (finding where I can save). I have to have something to keep me busy. If I don't I feel kind of numb or something (maybe stuck is a better word). I need something to look forward to (even if it is just a weekend trip to a lake or something).

Maybe try focusing on the future. Anything coming up you can get involved and excited about? That really helps me when I feel I am in a slump. Of course, I am one of those weirdos who LOVE change!

Hope you feel better soon!

[happytobeamomof2]

thank you all so much for the wonderful suggestions and inspiration.

having read all of this - i had kinda a light-bulb moment - i actually need to NOT have a plan, to NOT have a goal, to JUST BE. to let the emotional rollercoaster of the binges disappear and just live in a way that is more calm and constant and without a goal-post to aim for...

I guess that is why i am feeling unsettled and weird. I dont remember EVER not having a goal or goal post... is it possible i have met my goals? i have my boys, my career, i am a healthy weight and lifestyle, i am dating a great guy, what more is there? its about time i just accept that i am happy and enjoy it!

thank you ladies for helping me today...and every day for that matter!

[ThinkinThin]

I'm glad you're feeling better. I've experienced that weird feeling in the past after I've lost weight. Like, "now what?" And I agree you may be feeling unsettled because you may have decided that you've met your goals. Valerie Bertinelli said in a video blog I saw that there is no "a-ha" moment in the maintenance phase of weight loss. She said it's hard because there are no milestones to celebrate on the scale anymore. So, it might not be a bad idea to think about setting a new goal for yourself. Maybe take a class or learn a new hobby or a language, etc. Maybe you are the kind of person, and maybe we all are, who does need a goal and if you don't have one, there's the danger that food could become it again. Just a thought (for myself as well).

[Bellamack]

I think for me, food was (is) my drug of choice and I really do have "withdrawls" and cravings. Think about people who smoke and quit they tell me that 20 years later they still would love to have a cigarette, but know if they do, they will be right back at it. Unfortunately, we need food to survive, so I think it is harder than giving up other addictions because you don't need a portion control of beer, cocaine, nicotine to survive. You do need food, so I say get another habit, maybe make-up or shoes? lol

[happytobeamomof2]

Thank you ladies!!! Allll fantastic advice... I actually have quite a few hobbies, luckily most i can do at home (since it is hard to leave with the two boys at home all the time)... i am feeling a bit more connected today and will try to keep your positive reinforcement front-and-centre today... it rocks that i can come here and have this support...thank you!!!!!!!!!!

[Gold32]

Honestly, it sounds like you have a touch of depression going on, probably that seasonal effective disorder or whatever it's called. Like you kinda said, try to appreciate the things you do have, the things that make you happy. Sometimes I have to do that. Sit back and remind myself that I am happily married and in love, mostly healthy, I have a great family, an amazing best friend... etc.

Originally Posted by three herring

Dieting in some strange way is like mourning.

If that's true, we should be throwing binging a wake!

I know what you mean, I just couldn't resist.

[happytobeamomof2]

ah...that humor rocks!!! just what we all need - a good laugh!!!!!!