Nancy - Yes, I have read most, if not all, of the Geneen Roth books. I think they are great. I definitely have emotional eating issues. Any sort of negative feeling makes me want to head straight for the food...mostly sweets. I also have realized I have an issue with hunger in general. I realized it about a year ago. When I get hungry I actually start to feel mildly panicked. And when I try to think of what to eat so that won't be hungry anymore nothing seems like it will be enough. And so sometimes I eat up buying loads and loads of different things at the store because nothing I put in the cart seems like it will be enough. I am not totally sure where the panic comes from. Sometimes I think it might be coming from some experiences I had in my mid 20's when I was at my thinnest, exercising heavily, eating zero fat (when I say zero, I mean zero...if it had fat, i wouldn't eat it....not even a chicken breast because even that has a little bit of fat), my hair was falling out and I had what I called "spells". In the mornings I often would feel faint in the shower to the point where I would have to get out and fall dripping wet onto my bed to avoid falling in the shower and busting my head open. It was a horrible feeling. Funnily enough I didn't equate the faintness with my eating and exercise habits. I really thought I had some dreadful fatal illness that was going to kill me. Gosh, I am making myself sound really nutso! Anyway, those days I was hungry pretty much all the time and so I have to wonder if my little panics now when I get to feeling a little too hungry don't go back to that time when I would have my "spells". Whatever the reason, I do feel like I am trying to be more in touch with my triggers. I often don't win the battle with the food demons, but I continue to try to understand myself better so that I can improve. Well, that was probably TMI. Sorry to ramble.....


teahoney - I am glad to hear you are down 3 pounds. I wish you the best on South Beach and breaking your carb/sugar addiction. :hug:

kayley - I can't wait to hear what you thought of "The Breakup". I loved that movie. But, I am biased because Vince Vaughn is my imaginary boyfriend. ;)

Melissa - Having pink eye really stinks. I hope you will heal from it soon!


Not much to report for me. My pedicure was nice and I bought a couple little things at the scrapbook store. Just a boring old Sunday afternoon....but nice. Back to work tomorrow though. :devil:

Oh no you don't Xena. Vince is mine. lol I love that man.

TEAHONEY, I started on SB and did GREAT, felt "normal" for the first time in my life once the sugar & startch was out of my system, but when I went to Phase II I had problems getting carried away with any bread at all. I still stuck to little or no sugars, potatoes, rice or pasta and lost the rest of the weight. I know it works and makes me feel great, I just haven't been able to stick with it for more than a day or two at a time. THIS time I will again. Bought both the books today to make sure I don't cheat by accident.

AMMI - Go go go you Gazelle girl!

KAYLEY! Dear baby girl, I just can't IMAGINE what sort of NSV you might have had... and I probably shouldn't! =O

XENA & folks I missed, consider yourselves hugged! Less than an hour until departure time, and I still have to get dressed and grab the last clothes out of the dryer. Did my shopping, including picking up my S.B. books, so I'm armed and ready for the trip!!!

ADIOS for now :D

I have no time to read and post here it seems, but Ammi, I am so so so glad to hear you are not only losing AND exercising but you also have all this energy to do other things! I am SO SO SO happy for you!!!!!!! :carrot:

Sometimes I think this is like pushing a rock down a hill... it can take tremendous energy to get it going, but once you do things get a bit easier. I just fear that I'll get hung up on some other piece of rock and not get moving again... ah well.

Nancy -- glad you are recovering well from surgery

Annie -- Good luck house hunting!

Val -- GOOD LUCK ON THE TRUCK!!!! Keep us posted!!!!!

I weigh in tomorrow and don't think I'll see a loss again. I am getting really close to ONEderland and am starting to get a little antsy to get there!! I know I will though -- at some point! It's been great reading about so many people making it to the 200s!

Well said! That is how I am feeling right now too, having gone two weeks on Tuesday with no weight loss. Sure my brain knows it is normal to have plateaus but the rest of me wants it off! :) I am feeling sooooooooooooooooo fat and it seems that I am just kidding myself that I am losing weight; yet I know and the facts bear out that I am. Also, I am keeping right on with healthful eating and have even been doing a LOT more exercises than before.

I can't even say I am tired of the process... actually I am enjoying the healthful food and exercise (once I "make" myself get out and do it)... I just want to see real progress! :?: And I want it NOW!!! :)

Ammi – Lunch was nice, but I definitely felt it. I will need to be really careful over the next week or so. I felt I overexerted myself a bit and had to lay down a bit when I got home.

Xena – I can imagine that your time of being so hardcore really caused some deep trust issues with yourself about food – which I guess is partially why you get that panicked response when you start to get hungry. For me it was definitely a trust issue with myself – I didn’t trust myself around food at all. I didn’t think I could be around food and not consume it if I didn’t restrain myself all the time. I felt like I had an unending hunger that if I dared let go would devour everything I came in contact with. I had to learn to trust in myself that that was not the case. It sounds like you also have to start to trust yourself that you will make good choices. (I am going to go with this supposition, so I am going to state this as fact whereas I know it is just a theory – it is just easier to write it that way. This may not be the case, but work with me for now :) ) Some part of you is so scared that with this diet thing you will become overzealous and possibly go back to the unhealthy state you were in when you were younger. You are scared of yourself and your relationship with food. What you talked about was definitely an eating disorder – to regulate yourself so harshly that you became physically ill. You need to work with yourself to restore the trust. “I know I am hungry now, but I promise you (my body) that I will find you healthy and nourishing food as soon as I can. You have no reason to worry. I am not denying you, I am only in a temporarily difficult situation where healthy food is not available. I will remedy this as soon as possible. I promise you that you will not be undernourished.” Then – do what you say. Go find yourself something good to eat at the next possible time. Teach yourself that you can trust yourself. If you overeat on healthy food for a bit while you regain that trust, so be it. Once your body sees that it doesn’t have to be on the defensive, you will be more comfortable with being hungry and won’t have to run and grab the first high calorie thing you can think of. I don’t know if that helps at all.

Valerie – We are all rooting for you while you are on the road. Sorry you didn’t get a chance to ride when you were home.

We had a nice lunch out and my BF also made a really nice dinner tonight. I actually haven’t been counting calories this last week but am back to it starting tomorrow. I felt I needed to let myself feed myself as my body needed and not from my habits I had been in. The amazing thing was mostly I ate fruit and grains – almost no meat or dairy. I fell pretty much back to normal now in the digestive sense, so back to routine it is, except that I managed to make my lunch for tomorrow! I am very pleased with myself about that. It will be weird going back to work, but as it turns out because of the holiday next week will be really short anyway. I plan to take the 3rd off and Andrew and I will probably head down to see his parents for the long weekend, as long as I feel up to it. Well, I best get to bed early tonight. I’m not ready to go back, but I should at least be as rested as possible.