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tlujan1 08-03-2006 10:59 PM

Hey girls here's the dish. We met the Wiggles. Talk about a bunch of hotties, and the nicest group of guys too. They went down to Camdon's level and kept talking to him. Camdon had a melt down...he couldn't say a word. Poor guy was in shock. After hanging with them for about 30 mins. we went to the concert. They traded in our tickets for better seats and a free one for my sister. I think she had more fun then some of the kids. We were right on the floor in the center. They guys were great, and would jump off stage and walk around the stadium. Murry and Anthony (Camdons favorate wiggle) kept coming up to him during the concert and tickling him and talking to him. It was great. When we left the Concert, with Camdon holding my hand he looked up to me and said, "Mama, I love da Wiggies." That was worth it all.

He had such a rough day, the day before, when we went to Dallas. So it was great for him to come home and have a blast like that. I have been getting all of Camdons doctors to send me release forms, just finished filling them all out. I only got half his doctors, It would take way too long to get all of them. So I am hoping they will send Dr. Genecov all the records before Monday. Monday is the big day they have a conference and decide when surgery is. Camdon has been doing something new, he has been poking his eyes like they hurt him, so Iam a bit concerned his optic nerve is being squished. I am sure they have some big scientific unpronouncible word for it.

Well, I am up 4 something pounds. I am cracking my own whip (Kinky!) and counting points and well, counting points. I am going to really work on things this week. I feel like a blob...Like the show that came out in the '70's, the big blob that rolled around town and swallowed up people. My stomach (we call her torpedo) she is happy these days because I have been feeding her junk...so back to the colon friendly health food.

I am a bit tired, and I need some sleep...Dang!!! just looked at the time and it is not even 10pm yet, I am getting old, If I think it is getting late.

I am so happy to see everybody here, especially the new comers.

Hey Vicki, I have looked at you Myspace, haven't been there in a while.


tlujan1 08-05-2006 01:19 AM

Okay girls the whip is out and I am kicking butt!!!! I have been staying on track so far. I had plain yogurt for breakfast and salad for lunch, dinner I went and had chinese, but stayed with in my points. Doing good and feeling better about things. I really hope I go down this week. I am tired of going up. I know I do not change my trackers...I choose not to. I change them only when I lose. My rules.

Okay hope you all are doing good. Took my husband shopping today to get him clothes. He had to quit his job this week and got a new one today. We are trying our hardest to keep Camdon's Medicaid. We can't afford to pay for the surgeries. I think once every thing is done with, finally my hubby can get a job and get paid what he is worth. I am going to start doing my stuff too...photography and graphic design, see if I can sell it on ebay.

I have been in a better place and have been painting. I hadn't painted in over 3 years. I was super depressed. I will post a picture of my work some day.

Dusty: I saw a book the other day it was "Poems of a young brother" Everybody has some sort of twist to sell their work. Maybe you can publish a book called "Poety of a big girl." I would buy it. There needs to be more liberating stuff out their for us big girls. Hey you were saying that your brother is disabled. What is his disablity? Is it the same brother that was trached? Why did he need his trach in the first place? You could email me if you do not want to put that kind of detail on here.

Has anybody talked to Nightowl?

Have a great saturday, especially you Alison...Happy Birthday again girl!!! Have fun.


youwin67 08-07-2006 12:49 AM


You are right, poems of a big girl would be a pretty good seller. I had a prof my freshman year who called me aside to his office and told me I had to get rid of my negative image and stop writing poetry that wasn’t nice to myself. I tried not to be negative about it. I think for a book of big girl poems to work, I would have to make it real empowering! As you can imagine, it is a little difficult for me not to be a smart ***.

Sounds like Cammy had a great time! How nice of them to be so great with the kids!! My heart goes out to you and your husband and of course little Cammy for all you are going through. Keep us all updated on his progress!

My brother is the one who was trached. He had a brain bleed at 15. It was really unexplained—which is the scary part. Now he is 21 and ready to leave the nest! He walks with a cane and has really bad balance, and of course a few other little things. His speech isn’t quite the same, he switched from right to left handed, and he still writes with a shaky terrible handwriting. He is nervous, we all are. I really hope he can do this!

Here is a sample of some of my old writing. I know, it is not the real uplifting stuff you are supposed to post on here, but I think it speaks a little to people who are in the same boat like we are. I hope no one is offended!! :

Diet Diet Revolution!
I hesitate in the parking lot, as I often do. Staring at the building before climbing out of my car and walking in as briskly as possible. Weight Watchers is in bold red letters in the middle of the strip mall, right between Radio Shack and that all-you-can-eat buffet. I figure when people see me walking up, they probably make bets on which door I’ll go through, I am sure no one ever guesses it will be Radio Shack.

Once inside the building the thin employees greet me, I have been coming long enough that they all know my name; I can’t remember theirs for the life of me. In order to work at weight watchers, you need to reach your goal weight and maintain it. I wonder how they check, I mean, do they weigh in as they punch in for work. If they indulge one weekend and gain that extra pound…are they fired?

I walk up to the counter after getting past the greeter and fill out a little nametag, even the nametag says weight watchers. I find my card and stand in line to get ‘weighed in’ by one of the overly cheerful spokespersons. This time it is a bird-like woman who I know probably joined twelve years ago to lose the extra eight pounds she put on after having her first and only child. She acts as if she has been there before, and I smile at her sweetly because strangling her would be impolite. “How was your week?” She asks, a parrot. I smile and say good. I listen to the other women around me responding to the same situation by going into a twenty-minute speech about their eating and exercise habits. No wonder this process takes so long.

I take off my shoes, because you weigh less without your shoes, and then I remove my wallet, keys, cell phone and any loose change in my pockets for the same reason. I didn’t wear earrings today on purpose. “Good job!” the bird-woman squeaks and claps her hands, as if she really cares, “You are down 1.6 pounds this week!” I smile and try to seem excited about the miniscule loss. I hand her the twelve-dollar weekly fee and try not to think about how much I could be saving if I stopped coming to these God-awful events.

If you have never been to a Weight Watchers location, you probably don’t know that they keep the meeting room hidden behind a wall. I am sure all those chairs filled with overweight people is not the image they want to portray to the public eye. The meeting starts when the leader comes in and greets everyone like it is a cheerleader reunion. I glance around the room filled with fellow pathetic souls and realize I am at least twenty years younger than everyone else here. Great.

First the leader claps her hands and asks everyone in the room how their week went. We all share our stories of triumph and failure, clap our hands some more—there seems to be a lot of that, perhaps it burns calories. Then the product placement begins. Did you know AppleBee’s now has a Weight Watchers menu? Have you tried our 2-point bars? Only $1.50 a piece! Don’t forget the twenty-three dollar ‘getting started’ pack that has everything you need to be successful in your weight loss journey. If you have trouble using the paper journal you get every week with your membership, try buying the monthly journals right here in our lobby. Smoothies, candies, cookbooks, food scales, exercise tapes, planners, carrying cases, pedometers, jump ropes, bracelets, the official magazine, and anything else one needs to lose weight successfully.

After half an hour of talking, trading ideas and recipes, and learning the weekly lesson, we all waddle out, a newfound sense of ability. I get in my car and drive home, another week, another meeting. I could have joined the Atkins revolution, or Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss Center, South Beach Diet, Dr. Phil, E-diets, Hydroxicut, Slim Fast, The Zone, or good old Bulimia, but they’re all the same. My leader tells us to visualize our goal and it will help us make the right choices throughout the week. When I close my eyes, I imagine a Monday night where I don’t have to walk through that door.

Ok back to the bump and grind,

tlujan1 08-07-2006 01:08 PM

Dusty, I love it. My thoughts in your words.

I want more, please!!! I am telling you, a book. You rock. I know that so many of us big girls go through all this....skinny women weighing you in, and all they origianlly had to lose is 5 pounds. I can gain that is 1/2 a week and lose it in three with WW.

I am home watching Camdon distroy room after room. I have no motivation to run after him and clean it up. I found fire ants in his room. We had a rain here in SA and now the bugs want to make my home theirs. Maybe if I cleaned this damn house it wouldn't be so tempting. Got to go...I need to clean.

I would love to say WW is going good but the thing is much of the time I can eat the right stuff but still gain weight, so we will see on Thurs.


Nightkatt 08-07-2006 08:47 PM

Dusty you definitely have a talent for sure! I think your writing is fantastic .. as for your professor or whatever telling you that you need to change direction .. DONT! You have an amazing talent to be able to put into words what a lot of women (and Im sure men too!) think but cannot express ... and although there are millions of self help books out there, they are all these positive vibe things that dont take you on the full journey, it tells you to think positive and express yourself in a non-negative fashion so that when you do think negatively you feel like you have failed or done something wrong!

On the other hand .. when you read your words you stop and think and realise that those sorts of thoughts are what is REALLY going on inside you, but you just never knew how to give a voice to them .. that is where your words are amazing. Hunny, if you ever get a chance ... bind them up and go to somewhere that can publish them ... heck .. make it a serial in a magazine even ...

Im so sick of reading all these positive stories (great that people have achieved them so please dont take offence) .. but they are usually the end of the journey, not the whirlwind of emotions that buzz round like a rollercoaster ... its making it clear what we larger than life people really think and feel, how we see the world and that no .. we arent all jolly fat people and our insecurities arent made any easier by the way society looks at us either.

Keep up the fantastic work .. and dont let anyone tell you to change it .. its raw and its honest .. and we need more reading like that to wake us up and get us thinking and expressing ourselves :)


youwin67 08-10-2006 07:33 PM

Thanks for the encouragement guys!! it's nice to have some readers who appreciate. I will put more up eventually. For now, I am off to Florida, and we are driving all the way. Unloading the 17 foot truck in the florida heat....NO THANKS! But also no choice! Uhg! Everybody do a sexy fat lady rain dance for me. Thankfully--fat dancers always get the attention of the gods! Someone should have told those men who always sacrafice the tiny hot virgins eh? ok enough of this discourse! I am off. Hope to see you all in a few days!! I will update you on my life as soon as I have a keyboard at my ready steady go!

A lit bit off from the bump and grind, but gyrating nonetheless.

tlujan1 08-11-2006 01:09 PM

Hi you all, I am finally back down to 346. I have a thing, I am not going to change my ticker when I go up, I refuse to. I lost 6.4 lbs this week. I was really hoping that I went down, I was sick of gaining. I will keep tracking and see what happens.

Camdon has another appointment on the 28th in Dallas. Fun. I hate the drive, but I think we are finally getting somewhere with his problems.

Dusty, stay away from the gattors...they bite. Best wishes in Florida, you might meet some fine hot Latino there. Best wishes for your brother...coming from a mom that has a child with special needs....YOU GO GET THEM AND SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU CAN DO!!!! Society tries to hold them back, I hate it. I have a friend who has a son who has to use a computer to write with speaking, and she said it was so hard to find a college that would accomidate his needs. It sucks. I know there were a few times I had to be in a wheel chair...no fun. I have a bad back and sometimes it is so bad my legs give out and I can't walk. My spinal cord get swollen. Thank God it only happens every once in a while, and not all the time. I can take drugs to bring down the swelling.

Enough about me. I hope you all are doing good. See you in a couple of days, off to the beach this weekend for a get away.

I will do my little rain dance for you Dusty.


Nightkatt 08-11-2006 11:59 PM

Great work Tanya .. keep up the great positive work :)

Sevryn 08-12-2006 03:32 PM

Hey gals... um, can I come in? I'm not in my 30s yet, but my 30th birthday is in less than four months now. :yikes: :fr:

ryanmi72 08-12-2006 05:26 PM

Hello Gals,

I actually was posting here a few months ago, but fell off a bit, now I'm back-OK if I join you once again? I'm Michelle. I'm 33 and work in Higher Ed. I am looking to lose about 120 lbs-I probably should lose more, but my goal is to be healthier and feel better more so than a specific number...

Looks like there are lots of new faces here since May...very exciting!

Nightkatt 08-12-2006 07:32 PM

SabrinaFaire & Ryanmi WELCOME BACK AND IN!!! Great to see you on the boards and Sabrina you are more than welcome to join in as really you ARE in your 30th year of life :)

Hope to see you both posting and letting us know how things are and what you are doing (which plan if any) .. highs and lows etc.


tlujan1 08-14-2006 02:34 PM

Hey girls, back from the beach. Had a great time. Went up with some friends of ours and had a great time. It was really cool there for a change. Got a little more tanned but my legs and butt are still as white as a ghost. We ate dinner early and then took a strole on the beach. The water was warm...so nice. I think it was the nicest time we ever had there on the coast.

I have been doing good on WW. Been tracking. My new doctor started me on Byetta, and it has helped me so much. My sugar levels have been really good. The main problem that I have is the dropping of my sugar, it gets really low and then I eat and then it spikes up again. By the end of the day you are so tired. With Byetta, it keeps you level. You get slight ups and downs, but not drastic ones. I was sweating like I was going through menipause...now that has stopped. Hopefully this is all I needed. It is also supposed to help me lose weight. We will see.

Welcome back Michelle, and welcome Sabrina. You do not need to be 30 to be part of our rockin group. Feel free to post and have fun.

Well, my schedule it packed with doctor appt. for Camdon. I have been trying to get Camdon in to see a Neuro-opthamologist, because he is losing his sight because of the stroke he had and because of innercranio pressure from the fused sutures. Really frustrating, because they just are not as urgent as I want them to be. This poor kid has gone through so much. I have to remember to fill out the paper work for his service dog. The rate things are going he is going to need the dog for his sight and seizures. But, he is still the cutest boy you will ever know. He is so cute...not just because he is my kid, of coarce not.

Well, until later...take care.


tlujan1 08-17-2006 12:06 PM

DOWN 4.8 POUNDS!!!!!! I am finally over this hump, or going back and forth. The true test is when I go out of town next week. I need to stick to it.

Just wanted to post that.


tlujan1 08-25-2006 05:41 PM

Where is everybody????

Sevryn 08-25-2006 09:44 PM

I'm at my computer ;)

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