300+ And Ready To Try Again.. #868
 

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We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.

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Motivational Monday
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Thankful Thursday
FUN Friday ... don't wait until you lose your weight.
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we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us.

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Garnet - i TOTALLY agree with you about the sodium!! it sucks!

here is one of my makeup pics. this was a full face, natural makeup

this is one that i did. this is a more high fashion/runway look

ammi - my friend Kelly is planning everything, but i told her to look up Katoomba. hopefully we will get to see it

Okay all, I should NOT be here...I'm at work - at 6:45 on Saturday Night! All because I spend too much time on-line and not enough working. But I had to drop in!

I've had a fattening day today and know I now have no flex points left...but I had Indian food for the first time today. LOVED IT! (Like there's ever been a type of food I don't!:p ) On the up side...no dinner for me, 'cause I'm at work!

I did 11+ minutes on the :devil: eliptical last night. A personal best! :lol:

Garnet: I really am only posting to tell you I LOVED the Bay City Rollers as a kid! I had all their albums - even the imports! I even went to a concert when I was 15. (Derek was my favorite! :lol: ) I didn't think that anyone else would admit to liking them! Boy, are we showing our age!

There's been so many posts since yesterday I only skimmed the reading...hope no one minds, but I doubt I'll catch up. If anyone asked me anything important...PM me - otherwise I'll assume no one care's what I think! HA!

Got to run. It's CREEPY all alone in an office building at night! (They make scary movies that start like this - don't they? Brrrr!)

I just want to quickly post this message before getting back to my Word document of replies. I have the address for the pic copied and want to get it on here before I copy something else. I posted the pic and message on the Maintainers board, thinking they may have had some experience with the problem. I also wondered if some of you wonderful ladies may have some input here as well.

OK... I had hubby take this photo of me yesterday (poor baby is often asked to do this now),

http://zelma.neilknobbe.com/zelma002.jpg

... and I was wondering why I still can't 'see' myself as this picture shows me. If I saw this body with a different head I would think "Hey, this person looks quite slim." But all I see of myself (especially when undressed - AAAHHH!!) is the flabby bits and parts of me spreading out when I sit down. Now, I know that this type of thing just happens as we get older (44th birthday is approaching very soon), but I think I perhaps see MORE of it than could actually be there. I really don't know, but it seems weird that I wouldn't consider myself anywhere NEAR 'slim' at the moment, but that body in the photo looks OK to me.

I'm not sure what I am thinking about this really (you know me... it could simply be my hormones messing with my mind again) but it just seems weird. I know something similar has been mentioned before about seeing yourself still as the big person you used to be, so perhaps that is the problem. Not sure really, as usual.

I am wondering whether I still have it in my subconscious mind that I have to reach my original weight goal to actually be 'slim'. I thought I had come to grips with that and was happy with where I was at. Oh well... I will keep pondering the situation. Keeps me on my toes I suppose.

Back to the replies...

Take care,:hug:

Zelma

Zelma -- I'll just say that I think you look slim and GREAT!!

Lilion - I liked Derek and Woody...loved the hair! S A T U R D A Y NIGHT!

Luan - you are so pretty! and the makeup is nice too.

Zelma - you look marvelous! Maybe you could look into some body image counselling if it is really bothering you.

I am 43 and was in the 300s for about 6 years and I was wondering if you have much loose skin. I am especially concerned about my upper arms and my belly flap and under my chin. It looks like under your chin it is smooth and firm, it looks great. How long did you take to lose your weight? Did you do much strength training or toning?
I know you only recently got a home gym type thing, right? is that when you began the toning???

Please forgive me my invasive questions but you are a role model to me on this weight loss trip and I really want to know something of what to expect. As it is I am worried about needing plastic surgery to firm up the flesh. Also, what about your breasts?? Do they shrink up as you lose????

Thanks!!


YOu look just great and so happy too.

The rest of this was a post I accidently made after the last thread closed I cut and pasted it here in case everyone missed it because I did not want the people who had said things to me to think I did not respond.

Kayley and Valerie - NO FAIR!

I am 271 and still wearing 3x. How tall are you all???I am 5'2". Totally unfair<stomps feet and pouts>

But I am very happy for both of you !!!

Okay, I just dug out a pair of 22 pants my mom got me by mistake at an estate sale.

THEY FIT!! I am SITTING down in them!! it is a MIRACLE! Thanks for making me try them on!!

Amy - I am glad you are amused! I will let my son know about the Echinacea and Vit. C. We both believe in supplements. I had not thought about it but I bet he doesnt have any vitamins because he is not working he is going to school. I dont know if his wife is into supplements or not but I doubt it. I will have to check into that.

It was a bit worse I have been having cokes again. Ive had two today and Had one yesterday....but I think I am about over that too. congratulations on not taking the whole weekend off to eat a "bunch of crap" and just using some flex points at the BK. That is a really good thing, Im proud of ya!

Valerie - Thanks. I did not see 20/20 but I appreciate he information for sure! Mom and I made a special trip to Applebees to eat (I had never been to one and was curious) just to eat off their WW menu. So much for
that! I had the tilapia with mixed vegetables instead of rice and apparantly their vegetables were not mixing that day because I got a double serving of steamed broccoli tips. It was good but I never ate so much broccoli in my life! It was the prettiest color green.

I dont understand why everyone puts so much sodium in everything???!! I hate it. I never add any to my food. I think my mom uses too much salt when she cooks too but I cant do anything about that either. Although
lately I have not been eating her cooking. I have been zapping a frozen mesquite grilled chicken breast (big package from sam's club) and eating that with some salad or vegetables. Of course it is probably full of sodium too. Cant get away from it.

Resistance is futile!

Amber - sounds like you are really doing great on your eating, keep it up!

I hear you on the beach. Carolyn and I are supposed to go sometime before school lets out. If we can manage to both have a little money at the same time it would help!

nuthinfanci - Another Curves woman...there are quite a few of y'all on here.

Catharine - as usual you are right on the money. I like your boxing analogy. It seems like I eat off about one day a week or so. Maybe it does kick up the metabolism...hope so, I would hate to think I could have lost an extra pound except for that one off day. ha ha Very glad you had a good birthday and got an intrigueing secret cant say online birthday gift...that sounds super cool!

Crock - when do you get your grade on your paper you did?

Kayley - ive been doing the magazine thing too. There are SO MANY magazines on health and fitness, it is unreal and they are expensive (to me). But I get one here and there anyway. Ive taken some diet books out of the library too. Before I order a book or bid on one I always check the local library catalogue online to see if I can get it from the library for free to read.

Ammi - thanks for the carrot...I guess I am doing better than I think I am.
yeah, I grew up with Barry Manilow and Leif Garrett and Shawn Cassidy and the Bay City Rollers...remember them?? I dont think anyone admits to liking any of them anymore.

Dogpal - I agree you and kayley are going to break thru into the next phase very soon, I can feel it. Kayley will hit the 200s with a bang and you will hit the 300s running! There will be no stopping you two!

Ive been wondering if Kayley had a big off program day if it would kickstart her metabolism and get her moving down again. I have a book about carb cycling, I think I will read that one next.

Shawn is the only June baby we have in our family to my knowlege...Lets see count nine months backwards...must be sports season or something everyone otherwise occupied. ha ha
__________________
Exercise Goal for March: 800 minutes (495 done)
01/01/06=306 #lost=20
02/01/06=286 #lost=0
03/01/06=286 #lost=10 so far
One Hundred Pounds in a Year 65# left to go
306/271/135 136# left to go

Originally Posted by kayleystar:
Tonight was horrid. I got spit on, punched, pinched, yelled at, and I'm just TIRED OF IT! And the kicker? They didn't even schedule me ANY hours the entire month of April!

Kayley -- taken out of context, it sounds like you're upset you won't get abused in April, though I know that's not what you mean. :) I hope you manage to get some hours for April!!

Garnetfairy -- I know what you mean about feeling like other people are much smaller than you at your weight. I'm 5'5" and currently weight 223 -- I'm in 20s mostly (and now a few 18s, mostly tops). We really are all different!

Oh, a flurry of posts suddenly!

Luan - I'm still waiting to hear from my sis about my Ghana niece, but I haven't forgotten. ** You look great in that photo! And the makeup really does look beautifully natural. I like your "runway" look, too!

Poor Lilion, working on the weekend! I don't know about Indian food, but I'm TOTALLY into Thai food & Mongolian grills on the rare occasion I can get them. I loved the Thai curry I had, but I think Indian curry is much hotter??

Dear Zelma, you look absolutely lovely to me! (Where's the whistle smiley?) I'm still at a stage where every time I see myself in the mirror I can't believe I'm that FAT, so I can understand that we see what we expect to see and don't judge ourselves fairly. I'm glad you can at least imagine what you'd think of your body if you saw it on someone else, so to speak. Recall the best reactions of your friends and students who haven't seen you for a while. Please be assured that others see you as slim and lovely! I wish I knew what to say to make you feel that way too, but perhaps you still just need a little more time to get used to your new body. NONE of us will ever be a hard-bodied 16 year old nymph again... but look at the bright side, we get to keep our hardearned wisdom!:D Garnet & I probably aren't alone in our concern about extra skin, but you look so great you give me hope! Personally I'd like to have a neck again - but the double D's could vanish ANY time! I'd hate to have to duct tape 'em down to go horseback riding without flopping!

Garnet, That is SO WAY COOL that you got into those 22's and didn't expect to! You've gotta feel fantastic about that. What a great surprise. I'm only 5'3" and I'm still in a 2X most of the time. I already bought a pair of 20's, so I better get into them before I wear out my only pair of 22's!

The pups have been squeezed & it's an early day tomorrow, so I'm off for that much needed beauty rest. Nighty-night my friends!

It's late and can't stay on long but I have to say, Zelma, you are one hot mamacita. You look absolutely fabulous. Believe that!!

First of all… please don’t all feel obliged to answer these messages. I am over my ‘sensitivity’ and will not mind one little bit. I don’t feel anywhere NEAR as ‘blah’ as I did during the week, so hopefully things are settling down… just in time for TOM at the end of the week. Great huh?????lol

Catherine – Happy Belated Birthday!!!!!! Sorry I didn’t post earlier, but I have just had enough time to read posts, but not enough to answer them. Although that is a pretty pathetic excuse for not wishing you a quick happy birthday I suppose. It is wonderful that your hubby was able to buy you some clothing for your birthday. I’m not sure my hubby would be game enough to do that. I am a little too fussy I think. Although, he has been in enough clothing stores to know what I like by now I would imagine. Poor baby.

Kayley – Congratulations on fitting into the 20 pants!!!!! That feeling of being able to do up pants that would hardly go up the legs earlier is simply wonderful. I have been very lucky to have a few pairs of jeans and other pants passed down to me, as I have nothing of the next size down, and some of them I can JUST do up, but I wouldn’t want to even TRY sitting, and perhaps breathing would have to be kept to a minimum as well.
I was looking at your tracker and seeing that 50lbs… isn’t that a wonderful achievement? Well done!!!
Do you find that having no butt gets uncomfortable at times? I am definitely not used to not having a butt and I find that some seats get very uncomfortable with a boney butt. I also have to buy a mat for doing sit-ups as I don’t have enough padding to do it on the carpet.
Thank you for the compliment about the picture. You are right about us always seeing imperfections that others don’t.
Sorry you had such a rough time at work. How will you go with no hours in April? Don’t you have a minimum amount of time that they have to have you working, or is it just at their discretion? That isn’t too good. I know that the money is needed.

Nancy – It is great that you were able to see the definition in your calves. I remember the first time I noticed my calf muscles I actually thought it was ‘flab’, and had to actually feel it to believe it was the muscle definition showing through. You’ll have to check out other places to look for more changes now.

Luan – I wish I was on the East coast! Then I could plan to meet you. I kinda mentioned to hubby that we could try to get over to Sydney or Melbourne just before Christmas, but I don’t think we could afford it. It is more expensive to fly interstate than internationally at times.
I also can’t help you much with the concerts as we don’t go to any concerts and we often have different people over here to the eastern states. I know you can often get tickets through something called BOCS office, but I’m not sure if they have a site where you can find out about concerts as well. If I can find out anything I’ll let you know. And if you and your friend decide to add Western Australia to your itinerary we have beds here! I would love to show you around. We don’t have much to look at compared to Sydney and Melbourne, but I love it over here. Perth is kinda like a large country town still although our population is about 1.2 million.

Ammi – Australia has the same drinking ages as the UK obviously, but sometimes I wish that they would make them a little higher, so that ‘kids’ got their driver’s licenses at 17, then had a few years to get used to being behind the wheel before they could drink.
I managed to watch some of the diving at the Commonwealth Games yesterday. I do enjoy that event. They are just so amazing, when they make such a little splash. I saw the young Australian girl who looks and sounds about 9! Not a bad little diver huh?
Oh, and you are SO right about the only way being UP when you are so down. I didn't think I would get out of my 'slump' but I am almost totally out of it now and feeling SO much better.

Garnetfairy – You are doing SO well with your workouts at the gym! I sometimes wish I was a gym person, but I like having my equipment at home as well, so I can’t really complain.
I don’t have much positive to tell you about loose skin I’m afraid. I have quite a bit of it on the tops of my arms and thighs and my stomach. I was VERY lucky and my face/neck area has ‘recovered’ very well. I am happy about that because that is the hardest to hide. I tend to look on the rest as my ‘badges of honour’ and I don’t intend having anything done about them at the moment. If they ever become a medical problem I may have to look at surgery, but for now I’ll just keep it all covered up. Mind you, I think I have lots more than many people as I was obese for close on 30 years (getting bigger and bigger over that time), and didn’t lose the weight until my early 40s, which means that my skin wasn’t as elastic as someone younger. Many people won’t have quite the same problem I don’t believe. I have only been doing weight training quite recently (I wish I’d started earlier) and am hoping that things will tighten up a little, but I think I’ll be OK with it if it doesn’t. Oh… and the boobs???? Well, I heard someone describe theirs as ‘socks’ and that seems quite an apt description I think. Luckily a good bra can disguise that and hubby says he doesn’t mind in the least and still finds me ‘sexy’, so I can live with that as well.

Amy – It is interesting to hear you talk about ‘naps’. I thought that once I lost a lot of weight that I wouldn’t be wanting my naps, but I still love taking an afternoon nap when I can. I’m not sure I NEED them as much anymore, but I definitely enjoy them. Some afternoons after work I definitely need them!
I know we probably won’t see you for a couple of days as you spend time with Nat, but I look forward to hearing how your weekend went… without TOO many details… as I’m sure you will have a wonderful time.

Valerie – I’m glad you explained to Ammi what a ‘jumper’ is over there, because ours here is a knitted long-sleeved top, like I would presume Ammi’s is. I always wondered what you guys called a jumper as I didn’t think it was the same as ours. Oh, and I agree wholeheartedly about drink-driving being attempted murder. We have a problem over here where too many drink-drivers get off with a slap on the wrist, then kill someone a little while later under the same offence. I don’t think our laws are as tough as the eastern states. You do lose points off your license, but it takes a while for that to happen, so you can drive around until the points are taken off your license. We have had people who should have had their license revoked, but drive around for months until the last points are removed. It kind of defeats the purpose I think. It makes me SO angry. I didn’t realize that your ages for drinking vary from state to state. Over here, you can drink ANYTHING at 18 years. You can get your driver’s license at 17.
Thank you for the lovely comments about the picture. You are right! I didn’t really think about it at the time, but I need to remember what I actually said about the picture – “If that was someone else’s body I would think it was slim” – and perhaps keep repeating that to myself. It is weird, but I made that statement and didn’t really let it sink in thoroughly. I suppose that basically I am saying that I am ‘slim’. Weird… but something for me to think about.

MsCrockett – It sounds as though your winter is lasting a little longer than you would like. We are having some very cold weather here at the moment. Well… it feels very cold to me because I have lost my ‘insulation’. I am still getting used to actually feeling the cold a lot more than I used to. I was SO looking forward to summer, but we had a very cold summer, then we had a couple of weeks where it actually looked as though it might be warming up, and it is now cold again. It was just teasing us! So, if that is summer, it was the coldest I have ever been through. Not good! I hope your warmer weather gets to you soon.

Nancy - I really should look into the hormone/weight loss concept a little more closely, as I am sure that is the cause of my 'weird' emotions these past few months. I truly feel that my body is trying to catch up in some way. I just wish I knew what it was doing and what to expect. It might make life a little easier.

Wyllen – Thank you for the lovely compliment. I love hearing that sort of thing. I’m hoping that I will believe it 100% soon, instead of looking at what’s ‘wrong’ with my body.

Teahoney – Thank you for the terrific boost! It is always great to hear and after a lot of deep thinking after reading what you guys have to say I truly think I may actually end up believing that. I feel better already and I think I am going to wear that outfit to school tomorrow and ‘knock some socks off!’

As for me, I have had a lovely weekend. It is Sunday afternoon and the only plans I have are to get this post finished, look around the site a little more, then do some exercise. Then dinner, a little TV, reading and maybe a little school work. Not sure about that. I have been getting a little ‘slack’ with school work on a Sunday because I have THREE planning periods on Monday and I leave a lot for then. I should do more on a Sunday though. Perhaps I should do housework instead.

Yesterday we went shopping then wandered around the local festival. We walked to and from the festival for the first time ever and it was a great feeling to be able to do that so easily. We even walked up the ‘hilly’ route and I didn’t have any problems. I got another early birthday present yesterday (we are SO naughty with money) which was a heart monitor. It is the kind where you strap a monitor across your chest and read the results on a watch. It does SO much and we are only a little way through the book so far. We know how to get it to tell the time and let me know my heart rate. I also got it to tell me the calories burned while I was on the treadmill which was great to know. I plan on wearing it all day for a while to see how I go. So I wore it for the first time on our walk to the festival.

Today we got out early for hubby to have a practice hit of golf, then off to the markets. Then I had a problem with my ‘bladder’ and had to go to the bathroom HEAPS, so we didn’t know if we would be able to do anything else for the day. It got better though, so we went into the city this afternoon for a wander. It is a beautiful sunny day, although it was FREEZING while hubby was hitting his little white balls at 6:45 this morning.

I did a fitness test with my heart monitor this morning and I am VERY pleased with the result. I was a little worried about my resting heart rate, but this tells me that I am at a VERY GOOD level of fitness, which is very nice to know. I am only one point off ELITE. I don’t know if I’ll ever reach that, but it is something to aim for I suppose. My resting heart rate is still very low 40s but when I am standing or moving even slowly it moves up to the 60/70s, so that is fine.

Well, that is probably all my ‘gossip’ for the moment. We have less than 3 weeks left of term 1 left before we get two weeks off, which will be VERY nice. I may catch up with some family that I have seen for a couple of years over the holidays and it will be lovely to ‘surprise’ them with the new me. I never get tired of that.

Sorry if I missed people, but I only went back a couple of threads or it would have confused my poor already addled brain.

I hope you are all having wonderful weekends. I know that I am feeling SO much better than I was during the week. Like I mentioned somewhere earlier, I am feeling better just in time for TOM later this week. Good timing huh???

Take care all,:hug:

Zelma

OH!!! Just remembered a little news! We are getting a Borders here!!!!!!! I loved shopping there while we were in the US and have always wanted one here and when we were in the city this afternoon we saw that one is opening. Not sure when, but the sooner the better. You can NEVER have too many books! I think that is another reason why I like that picture I posted. I am in front of two of my favourite things – books and teddies! Oh… and of course I am in front my absolute favourite person holding the camera… but you can’t see him.

Hello All,

Happy Mothers day to all the ladies celebrating it today. I am, and I have had a lovely breakfast in bed, some lovely cards and gifts. My fave gift being the DVD of The Sound of music, it's a sing a long version, you can watch the film, or you can just watch the songs with subtitles lol. I have loved the film and it's music since I was about 7 :D

Right now I am watching the closing of the Commonwealth Games. I am going to miss watching all the sports, oh well, I can catch up on lots of missed sleep this week.

Julee - I suspected it might be Leo's baby, how sad that he is engaged and she hasn't told him about the baby. He didn't take long to get over her did he! Thanks for letting me know.

Annie - wow that is so cool that your niece is in some classes and the same choir as Lisa (thank you for reminding me of her name). It's a shame that you niece won't audition for American Idol. She shouldn't let Simon put her off, like I said, I think he secretly LOVES the bigger woman. That guy you like, his name is Elliot, he can sing brillantly especially as he is partially deaf.

Valerie - I am glad to hear you like Neil Diamond too. He has so many songs that I love, it's hard to pick a favourite.

Garnetfairy - oh wasn't Leif Garret just gorgeous, I can't even tell you a song he sang, but I remember how gorgeous I thought he was. Yes I remember the Bay City Rollers, but I wasn't into them.

Luan - I loved the photos of the make up you did. I remember reading once that it is far more difficult doing a face of the 'natural' look rather than doing some full on make up. Is that true?

I am glad you told your friend about Katoomba, I hope she fits it into your Australian itinerary.

Lilion - You had me in stitches when you said about being in the office after hours and how they make scary movies starting like that. I sure do hope you got home safely :D

Zelma - You look PERFECT in that photo. I can understand that you aren't happy with yourself undressed, I don't think anybody, not even super models are happy in the nuddy. Would you consider having a tummy tuck etc, that would probably go a long way towards making you feel as great as you look in that photo.

I am glad you got to see some of the diving, and that you know the little Aussie girl diver I mentioned. There was also a little Malaysian boy diver. They start so young don't they? My fave of the diving is the synchronised dives from the 3 metre board. The closing ceremony just finished, John Farnham stuffed up singing You're The Voice. Oh well, it was still great. It's a shame Kath and Kim didn't take part in the ceremony, I think they are great :D

Oh and yes, a jumper here is the same as a jumper there, a long sleeved knitted top.

I am feeling a bit under the weather, I have had a sore throat for a while, and now I am feeling bunged up. I think a cold is well and truly taking hold. Rats. But good news, a night of resting up has helped my back and it's not too bad today. Well time to get some emails written and then I might have a sleep, I was up watching the games late again last night. No more though, sob, early night tonight then. Bye for now,

Hugs,

Ammi :grouphug:

Weighed in this Morning, I lost 3 lbs..

Zelma~ Yep, I am over Winter, Ready to be out and about doing something, I so hear ya on the "insulation" comment, When I had lost weight the last time, I remember being colder....

Garnet~ I made an A on my paper,, Are you talking about the one I did on , Challenging Lethal Injection, In Humane or stalling?..... I got some, much expected reaction from it, however, I was up for the challenge. Thanks For asking.

Princesspuffypants~~ Loved the pics, and the make-up you did,, keep me up to date.. You seem to be really enjoying yourself.
Take Care All

Zelma-It wasn’t that my husband was game enough to buy me clothes, he was simply a bachelor so long that he didn’t know any better. He sure is trying hard though. I promised him that I would never make him wait while I tried on clothes, or drag him to the fabric store. He’s a nerdy geographer, and has his limits. I also have a hard time picturing myself as I am. I was large for so long that I just can’t visualize anything different. I still turn sideways to go through doorways that I don’t have to out of habit.

Princess-I have high blood pressure, and although my doctor never actually told me to go on a low sodium diet, it was only common sense. One teaspoon is 2400. I am shocked sometimes by the amount of sodium in ordinary canned stuff. I did learn something the other day on the food network. Sea salt is “saltier” than other salt, so you can use less to get the same level of seasoning. My mom was a beautician, and she often would do wedding hair, and often got asked to do the make-up also. That was 30 years ago. I’m told that it really cost a lot to have wedding make-up now.

Lilion-I actually had a pair of those roll down the top converse high tops. I also have the best of Bay City Rollers CD. I play it when I am in a cleaning mood. It makes the cleaning go faster.

Garnet-the skin under my chin tightened up perfectly. My upper arm looks like an ordinary middle-aged woman’s. I have lost from the top down. I have too much flabby skin and fat on the bottom to tell yet what is going to happen there, but it is something that is constantly in the back of my mind. I have lost over 10 inches in my bust, but they are actually very firm. The funniest thing is that my gall bladder scar which is 25 years old is now 3 inches lower than it used to be. My new doctor thought it was a really big appendix scar.

As for me, I’m making a couple of trays of whole wheat biscuits for the after church crowd. The low-cal fare hasn’t chased anyone off yet.

Dogpal – That is so cool about your family. I really hope they can make the trip for your birthday. Definitely keep us posted.

Ammi – I am really enjoying Dr. Who – it is a lot of fun. However, my BF refuses to watch because of the fact that Christopher Eccelston leaves at the end of the season. It was disappointing to find that out, but it isn’t a reason not to watch it for me. Happy Mother's Day!

I have been watching American Idol, and was really impressed with all the performances last week – well most of them. At first I thought Lisa was amazing, and she does have a good voice, but for some reason she doesn’t seem to be bringing the emotion or whatever. She is so young though – maybe just a little too young for right now. Mandisa and Chris are definitely my favorites too. I like Katherine and Elliott and Taylor is fun. I went from thinking that this was going to be one of the worst years to now thinking it will be one of the best. It really does say something about Barry Manilow’s musical talent that he got everyone to sing as well as they did last week.

Garnet – Isn’t it strange the way our minds work? You brought home some cookies and only gave one to your mother knowing she was dieting but you gave four to yourself? Why are you watching out more for your mother than you are for you? I know that always thinking of others is something that has gotten me in trouble myself on many occasions. I think with “dieting” one of the things we need to learn is a certain level of selfishness. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the ones you did eat.

Also, I know what you mean about the sodium. I try and keep it down, but I almost never have a day under 4000mg. I guess if I completely cut out processed foods I could do it, but I haven’t found my love of cooking yet. Maybe later when standing for long periods is easier.

Amy – I didn’t have cable until I moved in with my BF an now I can’t imagine not having it. Mostly because I am addicted to several sci-fi shows such as Stargate and Battlestar Gallactica. One thing I would suggest which I love is Netflix – it means we always have a movie around, never have to go to the store and never have to worry about late fees. You can also get workout DVDs to try before buying them. Hope your weekend with your sweetie is great.

Valerie – It isn’t that my legs are actually looking that great yet, it is just that I can imagine what they will be able to look like. It will still be awhile. The edema is definitely lessening. It must be even tougher for you in the truck all the time. For me when I sit for too long is when it is the worst. I hope you find a way soon to get off the truck.

Amber – Every time you post I am amazed at the things you have to deal with and I am so impressed with your determination. It must have been hard not to be angry when Anja threw your dinner on the floor.

Catherine – The sweater sounds lovely – and practical! The boxing ring is a great image. I have also used it the other way, where I picture me against the piece of food. I am so much more powerful than any inert piece of food and I can stomp it to pieces and it can’t do anything about it! How can something that can’t move, can’t do anything have so much power over me. I am definitely turning the tables there!

Crock – Can you send some of that spring up this way? I am ready, but we still have a few weeks of colder weather left.

Kayley – I have several dance DVDs that are way too jumpy. I try and find ways to modify the movements so that I am still moving, but not jumping. You don’t want to push yourself so much that you end up hurting yourself. If you do that you might have to stop exercising for awhile to heal and that would slow your progress. Oh – and I’ll trade you some of my butt. I have the opposite problem – I always have to wear much larger sizes because of it. :)

Luan – Thanks for sharing those photos. I like the natural look better. Do you carry your weight lower, because in your picture you look smaller than your weight.

Lilion – I LOVE Indian food. Glad you got a chance to try it. The only food I have tried that I haven’t cared for so far was Peruvian – but I think it was the particular restaurant. It was Zagat rated, but I didn’t like it very much. I think a big part of it was that they got our order wrong and kept insisting we ordered the tripe. I told them there was NO WAY that I in a million years had ordered tripe.

Zelma – I have the same image distortion issue but in the other direction – especially with my face. When I see pictures of myself I am usually surprised because I picture myself thinner in my head. It seems entirely logical that it could work the other direction too. I think you look quite slim – it is hard to see where there is more weight for you to lose. However, you see yourself with no clothes on. Clothes can really change the way a person’s body looks, so everyone else will see on thing and you (and your hubby ;) ) will see another. I’m not sure how tall you are, but your goal weight doesn’t sound unreasonable. If you were 120 pounds and still thought you needed to lose, then I would worry. In the end, you need to feel good in your own skin, and you are the only one who will know exactly what that means.


Well yesterday I spent the day at home and let myself really relax. First thing was I finally tried my tabla (Indian drums) that I bought awhile ago along with a how-to tape but had never tried to play. I need to figure out how to work the leather a bit because it is really dried out and I had a hard time trying to tune it. I lay down for awhile and gave my body some time to go into total relaxation. It felt really good. I then did a yoga DVD and then my BF came home and we went to dinner. I gathered up the courage to talk about some of the things that have been bothering me lately. I just haven’t been able to get over his comment before that my size is important enough that if I got down below a certain point he wouldn’t find me that attractive. He is still convinced that “because of my body type and metabolism” that I won’t be able to get much past 230 or something around there. I told him flat out that I don’t want to be fat necessarily and I certainly didn’t want to be put in a box. I need to decide where I want to be. He said he thought I had lost ground on being influenced by society in now feeling that I wasn’t attractive, and I told him he just didn’t get it. It isn’t about being attractive or not, it is about being healthy and active and able – that is what I want. I don’t know if much got resolved, but I was glad I talked about it. He thinks I am making up issues that don’t really exist, but for me it is the first time in our relationship that I am no longer sure if he is the person I really want to be with for the rest of my life. Between this and the money issue (he has got major spending and cc debt issues) I’m just not sure anymore. That is a weird feeling and one I am not quite ready to explore.

Today I want to go do some shopping. I think I will head over to Trader Joe’s to pick up some stuff. Later a friend of my BF’s is coming to get some computers from the batch he picked up on Friday. I have some laundry to do and I really need to learn how to work the tracking function on my heart rate monitor. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Hello everyone! I haven't had time to post or to read since last Saturday and, needless to say, there is no WAY I can catch up on all those posts. I did try to skim though and wanted to say that I loved VioletSwerve's idea of listening to books on tape while cleaning! My house is a disaster area today and I plan to spend all day cleaning and doing laundry. But not before I head to the library and find something to listen to! Thanks for the idea, Violet!

Speaking of my house being such a mess I am trying to figure out what my problem is. I used to keep such a nice house and now it's always in a horrible state. And I am not talking about an unmade bed or maybe some dirty socks on the floor. I am talking a week's worth of dirty dishes in the sink, going weeks without vacuuming, etc. I think my depression is kicking in again. I used to take a light dosage of Prozac but quit for various reasons. But now even the simplist of household chores seesm insurmountable. For example, the reason I have a sinkful of dishes is because I could not bring myself to empty the clean ones out of the dishwasher so I could load the dirty ones. Why is that so hard? I can't explain it but when I know it is time to do something like that it just feels like the biggest task in the world and all I want to do is go lay on the couch under a blanket and watch TV.

I do see a therapist (who, by the way is a social worker, going back to wyllen's discussion of therapists). I don't want to tell her I am feeling this way again. I don't want to be on Prozac again. I hated the psychiatrist she sent me to to get the meds in the first place. I had told him I didn't want Prozac because weight gain is a side effect. I wanted Wellbutrin because I have heard weightloss can be a side effect. Anyway, because I have had a history of eating disorder he wouldn't let me have it. Now keep in mind, the ED was YEARS ago. I just felt like he did not at all take into consideration my not wanting to gain more weight.

So, I don't know what to do. I do feel like I am struggling with daily living and probably need some meds again. But I don't want to deal with that doctor again. I just want to be my old self and have my old energy and drive. I don't like living like this.:(

Sorry to be a downer. That's not what I intended my post to be. But if I am being honest about what is going on with me right now, then this is it.

Nancy - I hope you are able to reconcile your "weird feelings". My only advice is that you should not compromise what is best for you in order to satisfy someone else. I don't know all the details obviously, but your BF sounds a bit sabotaging to me. And as for the money issues, honey, I can related. I was married to someone with money issues like that. It's too stressful. Maybe it's because we are accountants (yes, I am one too :) ) that we have a good head on our shoulders about money. Not everyone does.

Zelma - You look so slim and pretty. You look like someone who has never had a problem with weight at all. I do understand that feeling of trying to get your brain to see what everyone else sees. Somewhere I read once that it takes the mind 6 months to catch up with our physical self. Maybe that explains how I woke up one morning weighing 300+ pounds! :lol:


Well, I am off to the grocery store and then the library. I have a couple recipes from my new WW cookbook that I want to make this week and need the "stuff" to do it with.

Take care everyone!

Wyllenn - Thanks. I know we are all different but it is so unfair. You should get to go down a size for every 20 pounds no matter how huge (or short) you are....wouldnt it be nice?

It seems like since I started out huge that there is just still so much of me that you cannot even tell I lost a pound let alone 35. boo hoo hoo

I'm just saying if I lose 100 pounds and it doesnt show I am going to be ticked off and will probably resort to chocolate - semi sweet - but chocolate.

Zelma - how much did you have to lose before it was noticeable????

Thanks for the info on the loose skin...best not to get my hopes up apparantly...better just save my money for surgery. I wish I had had the sense and motivation to take this weight off while I was still in my thirtys...As it is I am shooting for perfection by 45.

About hormonal ups and downs...I dont know how far into your forties you are but you could be perimenopausal.

Kayley - Geez, what a job! I hope you get some hours for April, I think.

Oh God Valerie - I had a mouth full of water when I read about duct taping down the ladies to go horseback riding...almost watered my CRT!

Hey 22s are 2X right? oh and thanks for the vote of confidence!

Ammi - yes Leif Garrett was hot, but I think he is bald in front now. He always wears a bandana when I have seen him anywhere in print or on tv. i think i read a where are they now book that had the pictures..yes, I think that is where I saw him. He is not doing that great unfortunately.. but I dont remember what he is doing.

how about Bobby Sherman?

Crock - That is Great an "A" is wonderful!! I bet you did get some reaction too!

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 3 POUND LOSS!! HURRAY

Catherine - Thanks for the good news on the loose skin front! So there is hope!! Are you in your forties too? I am almost certain I will have to have a tummy tuck the way the fat hangs down alone makes it look like I will have a skin skirt. bleack!

That is funny about your scar. What did your doctor have to say about it when you corrected him?

I really cannot say where I am losing from. I must have lost some in circumference or these pants would not fit but I cannot tell any difference anywhere. Still huge no matter which way I turn. I was thinking that maybe my face is a little less plump...but it may just be wishful thinking.

I wonder where my belly button is going to end up now that you mentioned your scar.

Nancy - you know you make a good point, it never even ocurred to me that I was watching out more for my mom's diet than my own...I thought I was being selfish hoggin' 4 cookies...ha ha ha @ $1.19 each I could only buy so many. So I was being selfish but in a self-destructive way as usual.

I wish you well in your relationship! Change can be so hard on them. I really do hope you find your happiness! with or without your current BF.

I am going to have to dig out my heart rate monitor if yall keep bringing them up around here...ha I might even know where I put it...

Xena - There are more antidepressants now that do not have weight gain as a major side-effect. Maybe if you just ask for something without that side effect and explain that you are trying to lose weight the healthy way rather than ask for wellbutrin by name you can get something that will be like you want.

But I agree, you sound like you are getting a little dysfunctional there with the house and the TV. You should be honest with your therapist or she cannot help you properly. Explain about your problems with what happened last time, maybe you can see someone else.

Good luck, I know it is a hard road to travel!

I have missed so many threads, I feel like I'll never catch up with everyone, I'm sorry I'm really bad at being a part of this thread.

Today is Sunday and I'm taking a much needed break, I worked for an hour this morning and I will work for about three hours tonight, but the rest of the day, I'm spending with my hubby. He wants to see a movie, one that I know I have no desire to see but it makes him happy so I will suffer in silence as I smell the popcorn, haha

I got on the scale this morning and I'm down another 2 pounds this week, I'm happy about it since I wasn't as good as I could have been. Today is a new day and the beginning of the rest of my life, I'll move forward from here and keep going strong and keep walking the path.

Zelma - you look amazing, don't ever forget it!!

The whole topic of Zelma and her image brought home something that happened to me the other day. I got a letter in the mail and inside were several pictures of my puppies and then there were two of me holding my puppies. They were taken by the sweetest older couple who I met at the dog park. My puppies befriended thier dog and they had so much fun together. They asked to take our picture and as much as I hate pictures, I said yes. When I opened that envelope I was shocked. I know I'm a large woman at 370 pounds, however when I saw the photos...I was SHOCKED at how HUGE I really am. Yes, my hair was pulled back and I was all sweaty from chasing puppies but that didn't change the fact that my LEGS and HIPS just swallowed the bench I was sitting on. These photos are posted where I can see them and they are going in my before album. I plan on sitting on that bench every 20 pounds to see my progress.

So what I'm suggesting to all of you if you haven't already, take some full body shots, you don't have to share if you don't want to, they can be for your eyes only, it will really help you see the progress you make.

Xena -- Depression can be debillitating. Just because you saw that psychiatrist before doesn't mean you have to go back to the same one. Why not see a different psychiatrist? One who will listen to you? Just as with other docs, if you don't like one, get another!

Garnetfairy -- I know when I started losing I couldnt even tell right away. Take pictures along the way (I take them every 15 pounds)... which gets to Countess' point -- great idea to take pictures at the same place every 20 pounds. Use those first pics as a sort of inspiration, rather than getting depressed about them (I know it's hard). I was shocked by my before pics too... I am thinking of posting them soon, with a current comparison. I am still fat, but there is DEFINITELY a difference!

Zelma, I’m glad you’ll be looking for your reflection in the mirror we hold up for you – we & your students, friends & family. Glass is a fickle thing. *** Cool that your getting a Borders! I love those & Barnes & Noble. I haven’t been in a Books-a-Million yet. Could shop for hours for books! I’m currently not letting myself read anything though, that isn’t for my degree. Otherwise I wouldn’t pick up the school books. *** Again, states differ, but here in Ohio you can get a learner’s permit at 15 ½, and a license at 16. “Drivers Education” classes are offered at schools, but cost extra and most people don’t take them. They also can be a real joke. A recent survey nationwide showed that 85% of all drivers Don’t know how to merge. Not a surprise. I take every kid I can out and teach them awareness, control & recovery of the vehicle, even where their mirrors are and what they’re good for ( a surprise to most of them) and that you PULL over for ambulances. Surprisingly, Ohio has one of the best CDL (commercial drivers license) tests, but the standard test is a joke, too. TWICE I’ve actually witnessed people FAIL the eye test, and get their license anyway. One of those when asked to read the eye chart started saying numbers until the tester corrected them and told them the chart had only letters. It’s absurd. *** Your jumper is a sweater over here – I just learned that too. *** SO cool about all that walking you did to the festival! I have a friend who was a size 1 or 0 when we were young, but is now having more trouble with her weight and health than me. We were planning a trip at the end of April and now SHE’s thinking she can’t do the walking it would require. I’ve always been the one to hold us back before. Makes me very sad. *** If I don’t talk to you before your term break, have a great time!

Ammi, I’m glad you had such a lovely Mother’s Day. Catch up on your sleep now, and kick that cold!

CROCK _ Cool Loss!! Congrats!!! & Congrats on that “A” too!!

Jeepers, I thought I had all day to work on getting the truck ready to leave tonight, lots of little tasks, but I just got a call for one last lesson at the barn. I’ll have to hurry to squeeze that in (it’s not as easy as “squeezing the dogs” LOL.)

Hi Catherine, Hi Nancy!

Xena – sounds like your shrink has some Control Issues, hmmm?

Garnet, Leif Garrett is balding? Poor boy. I never cared much about that, but some guys are so sensitive about it. Oh, yeah – Bobby Sherman! I remember cutting his “records” off the back of cereal boxes! I was it love – boy did HE miss out!. Course, I’m probably taller than he is.

Wyllenn, Countess, everybody - I’ve gotta fly! Jello to stir, sheets to strip/wash/put on. Oh, and I can’t forget to lock Bill’s tool box before he gets home. I told him I did it 2 days ago. Now, where’s that key??

If I don’t get back here before I hit the road, it’s been lovely as always ladies! Be back when I can… hopefully with better progress than I’ve been having!!! Take care and be healthy!!

I weighed myself this morning and I gained three pounds. Now, I know I couldn't have possibly gained three pounds of fat so I'm thinking it's water retention because I did pretty good this past week. I'll be drinking lots of water and it should show on the scale within a couple of days.

Val -- BYE! W'll miss you! :(

Tracey -- Good attitude to have. Keep at it, and the weight will come off!

Garnet - you are so sweet. thanks :)

Valerie - no worries, kelly doesnt leave til august. i just think it would be fun for her to talk to someone who has been there and knows how things work. if it happens, it happens. if not, well, shes goin anyway :)

ammi - as foor natural vs high fashion (or not "natural") it really depends on the look you are going for. on the one that I did (the girl that isnt me) that was one color on her eyes, some foundation, eyebrow pencil, mascara, and lipstick. when we do a natural look i can use 4 different eyeshadows, plus contour the face with shadows and hilights, blah blah blah... it really depends on what you are doing. its just the colors that are different... lol

crockett - i sure will. thanks for the interest :)

catherine - kosher salt is better too. it tastes different than table salt. and is less sodium than table salt.
as for makeup. ive heard of people paying a LOT for makeup. its become such a skill in the past few years that people will pay a lot of money so it looks perfect. i plan on being one of those people that make a lot of money from it :)

nancy - the pic i posted,and my avitar, are about 15 lbs different. i added a pic at the bottom that shows my body type a little better. its mostly in my boddle. boobs, stomach, hips and thighs. but im really muscular under the fat. 173 lbs of my body weight is muscle and bone/115 is actual fat. i was very athletic when i was younger. at least that works as an advantage for me now :)

countess - i totally agree with you on the take pictures thing. ive had a big reality check over the last few weeks in class. imagine ****. and **** is a 60 x 20 classroom (read: long like a hallway). it is STARK white. the walls are covered from end to end in mirrors and flourescent lights. all you can do all day is stare at yourself, unless you have the benefit of actually working and you dont have to look at yourself in the mirror, you can look at someone else, and glance at yourself. it was a HUGE reality check. i realized that i have lots more problem areas than i thought before. its kinda a good thing tho because there is no way i can deny whats there.

I'm not doing individuals today, I haven't been well for the past few days and I'm just wiped out right now. I guess I have a tummy bug, whatever it is, I feel like crap. But I did workout the past few days, and my food has been okay, until today when I was starving and had a salad, baked potatoe and a strawberry muffin for lunch. (Then I slept for four hours). The potato and muffin I should have skipped, but I used fat free sour cream and only ate about 1/3 of the potato, so, that wasn't too bad. anyway I'm just checking in and saying hi. I hope everyone is doing well and having a good day.

Countess~~Congratulations on the loss of 2 lbs...

Just a quick hello to let you all know I'm back from my conference.

I haven't posted since Wednesday, the night before the weigh in I was worried about.. well... with reason. For the first time since I started this journey, I had a gain rather than a loss. :cry: It was only a half pound... but it was a gain. And.... since I was at a conference, I've been totally off plan for several days, so I'm not so much optimistic for this week either. SIGH. I know it's only a slight and TEMPORARY set back.... but I was really hoping to get much further before my first setback. So... time to grit my teeth, pull up my "big girl pants" as a friend of mine says.... and get back to it. So I shall. hrumph.

:)

And... Neil Diamond. Yeah baby! Was in love with him when I was young and love just about everything he's ever done. Had to smile when someone mentioned Bobby Sherman, too. heart throb ... remember "Here come the Brides"? that was like sooo long ago... was just a little girl, but was sooo infatuated with him. lol

Well.. it was a long drive getting home today, so I'm off to fade away---just wanted to say hello....

oh.. and p.s. ... Zelma.... "quite slim"???? You'd think that person in that picture looked "quite slim"???? lol ... I'd say that person in that picture is pretty darn HOT, babeeee... lol.... way to go!

more later..... stay strong!

Pull up the "Big Girl Pants!" :D :lol: :yes: :rofl: :lol3: That just strikes me as hysterical!

Garnet: Thanks for the encouragement! So, you must not like Football season? That is what sport was going on 9 months prior to June. LOL

PrincessPuffyPants: You are so beautiful! I couldn't tell by your avitar because it is pretty blurry but those other pics of you! Cutie patootie!

Lilion: 11 minutes on the Eliptical! Wow you are like the Bionic Woman! I am still at about 3. I find is soooo fun though which I really like.

Zelma: You are so pretty and so very slim and healthy looking. Perhaps it would do you some good to speak with someone about your image. I also noticed in your pictures the Teddy Bears on the book shelves behind you. I love teddy bears too. When I was 2 we were driving on the freeway, prior to seat belt and car seat days, and I saw a teddy bear laying on the side byt the onramp when we were getting on. I told my mom about it and she said that if he was still there when we got back from our errands we would pick him up. She said she was hoping I would forget about it after the store and such. On the way home I reminded her and she told me he was dirty etc. and I cried, not throwing a fit just because I was very soft hearted, and told her he really needs a friend. She stopped and got him and put him in the trunk. When we got home she washed him in the washer and patched him up and he has been my best friend since then! I have cried more tears on the old Teddy bear (I named him Bearfriend) than I can count. I love teddy bears!

Wyllenn: I just wanted to say hi and also LOOK at your CW! I am sooooo proud of you! I really mean it. You have been doing so well and it is such an inspiration if I would just pull my head out and do it it can be done.

Kayley: So sorry about work honey. Hopefully you will get more hours.

Ammi: Happy Mother's Day to you! I love the Sound of Music too. Have you ever seen Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? I love that one too.

MSCrock: Congrats on -3.

Nancy: Hugs to you on your BF troubles. I sure hope everything works out for your best interest!

Xena: Hugs to you

Countess: Congrats on your -2

VAl: please be safe out on the road! We will miss you much!

Teahoney: I'm sure it is just a water gain.

Amber: Big hugs. Feel better soon.

2LoosinIt: .5 to gain is not so bad. You will loose it again. Hang in there.

Julee, JillyBean, FutureDiva, Everyone else,
Blessings to you all
Dogpal

Good morning Chicks, I'm playing hooky form work today. Wow, working days then nights and back to days has made me exhausted. I went to Curves Saturday and weighed down another 5 lbs but I cheated all weekend. I hate loving to eat especially sweets. I keep saying to myself you eat to live not live to eat but. I'm back on track today.

Ammi The guy with me in the pic is my fiancé we have been together for 4 yrs. we met on line in a bbw chat room. he lived in north carolina and I in florida. within 3 days of talking to each other on line we met in person.

Kayley WOW sz 20!!!!!!!! you go girl!!!!! I have a butt a BIG BUTT. the girls i work with say i have a ghetto butt. ohh how i dream of a size 20. keep up the wonderful work.

GarnetCurves was fine. I'm 5'2 i know how you feel.

ZELMA You look wonderful, but no matter how much other people tell you, you have to feel comfortable in your skin. You give me inspiration. thank you for that.

PRINCESS I love your make up. the high fashion is my favorite. I would love to get some make-up tips from you.

Have a blessed day CHICKS!

Good morning Chicks, I'm playing hooky form work today. Wow, working days then nights and back to days has made me exhausted. I went to Curves Saturday and weighed down another 5lbs but I cheated all weekend. I hate loving to eat especially sweets. I keep saying to myself you eat to live not live to eat but. I'm back on track today.

Ammi The guy with me in the pic is my fiancé we have been together for 4 yrs. we met on line in a bbw chat room. he lived in north carolina and I in florida. within 3 days of talking to each other on line we met in person.

Kayley WOW sz 20!!!!!!!! you go girl!!!!! I have a butt a BIG BUTT. the girls i work with say i have a ghetto butt. ohh how i dream of a size 20. keep up the wonderful work.

GarnetCurves was fine. I'm 5'2 i know how you feel.

ZELMA You look wonderful, but no matter how much other people tell you, you have to feel comfortable in your skin. You give me inspiration. thank you for that.

PRINCESS I love your make up. the high fashion is my favorite. I would love to get some make-up tips from you.

Have a blessed day CHICKS!