Book study/chapter 1/ May2-May 9
 

Greetings to all lurkers and posters. :wave:
This is going to be a new thread topic focused on "studying" Dr Phils The Ultimate Weight Solution
We invite you to read the entire book or take it one chapter at a time, following the discussion within this thread.

We will begin discussing Chapter One onSunday.. May 2, 2004
Each Sunday we will start discussing the next chapter for that week.
This will be a 12 week program. We hope all of you join in every week.

It is recommended you have a pen, pencil and/or a colored highlighter with you as you read.
Mark every word, sentence, phrase or paragraph that hit home for YOU.
Read each chapter as if you are going to be tested .. (You're not going to be tested) ;)
Then come to this thread and share what hit home for you... what you took away with you from that chapter and how you are incorporating it into YOUR life.
Feel free to post often ... you may get a dozen different topics you want to share per each chapter.

I know many can read the entire book in an evening... others will need a week... while some of us may need the entire 12 weeks. There are 12 chapters ... plus a few extra topics at the end. But the idea of this thread is to share what we learned from each chapter and learn from others insights.

You do not have to be a Dr. Phil fan... many here are not. BUT... let's face it... we can all learn something new that just might be what will make a difference.
Each Sunday anyone can feel free to copy and paste this introduction and then start the new study.
Be sure to title it Book Study /Chapter #/ date-date
We are looking forward to reading everyones input. :)

Chapter ONE !!!!

I have only read the first 10 pages and I don't have my book here with me... but I do know one word I have learned already.

ACTION !!!!! We have to take positive action for our recovery.
You have to be willing to DO SOMETHING for your success.
It is time to forget what you have done wrong in the past and focus on the NOW.

I will be back tonight with a more detailed discussion. I was only peeking for a minute now. I have LOTS I want to share just on the first 10 pages.. and I have not even got to his 7 keys yet. LOL

Here's what I've picked up so far. I too haven't finished the chapter but this thought has stuck.

I've told myself many times that I HAVE to get the weight off for my health. For my back, for my feet, for my HBP, etc.

Well, I don't HAVE to do anything.

But I do WANT to do something. I WANT to get this weight off so that I can feel better.

He mentioned that creating the feeling of "having to" is failure thinking.

I never thought of it that way.

More later!

You may be looking at a Dr Phil convert...
 

I was able to read for quite a bit last night at work...all I can say is, "Wow." Lots of good, sound, practical, doable stuff there. I am impressed. And I'm <I almost said "hopeful" here, but changed my mind> confident that I will be successful this time around.

I think I'm up to Chapter 4...whatever the chapter is with the first key. I went back this morning to look for things in Chapter 1 that I had highlighted. It struck me that the first sentence highlighted read, "If you have lived like this for very long, you may have developed an underlying hopelessness." How sad. Because I have. I will go through spurts of determination and willpower and then somehow fall off the wagon. Each time I do, I think I sink a little lower than the last time...I know I have thought..."this is HOPELESS...I CAN'T do it." Deep down, I know this is NOT true. I CAN do this. I can do anything I set my mind to. So how do I set my mind and make it stick? well....that's what I hoping, no...what I KNOW Dr Phil will tell me!!

That's it for now...I'll be back later.

This morning I got up and did my pilates. Why? Because I wanted to. Because I wanted my body to feel better. And it does.

I thought that I had gotten a lot from watching the WL shows and spending time on this sight and didn't really need the book.

I too have felt that hopelessness because it seemed that deep down, no matter what my motivation, something was telling me that I would never get to where I want to be. That nagging doubt that made it easy to sit on the couch or have that extra helping.

I'm setting that doubt free. I know what I want. I know I can achieve what I want.

He does hit the nail squarely on the head.

What a wonderful image! I'm picturing Terri opening up the window, the curtains flutter gently in the breeze...she holds the doubt in her hand, raises it up high, and watches it fly away. The clouds part, the sun bursts forth and a rainbow appears... :cloud9:

Awesome ...
 

WOW .. Kat... I like that image. :cloud9:
Thank you for making Terri's great post... even greater. I owe you one. ;)
I am copying that image and tapeing it to my computer. I think I am even going to find a photo of a window too to attach it to... and even draw in my own rainbow. Thank you !!!!

Here is my homework. I don't promise to always be sooo detailed... but I need it right now. LOL
_______________
Okay... Page 3
Change can come in either of two important ways:
START behaving positively or STOP behaving negatively.

That is pretty self explantory.
Start eating 5 serving veggies, drinking 8-10oz of water, exercising, and following the 7 keys in this book. Talk "positive" to myself, take time for myself, and as DP says... GET REAL.

STOP justifing junk foods, drinking pop instead of water, sitting on my butt, downgrading myself, making time for everything but my needs of reading,journaling, sharing, etc.
___________________________

Quit conning yourself ... do you want to keep fooling yourself or not .... get real about fat or stay real fat

I am capable of conning myself daily. I use thoughts like "just this once"... "I will finish this up and not buy more"... "I will start over tomorrow".
Fooling myself... thinking what I have been doing will eventually work. It has not worked for 3 years now... so I need to do something DIFFERENT !!!
GET REAL about the fact I have to EAT to lose weight.. eat healthy, eat light, eat wisely.
I have to EXERCISE. I cannot burn off even 100 calories if I never do MORE than what I am doing now. I fool myself saying..."oh but I am so busy". WELL.... if that is the norm and I am not losing weight... then I need to do MORE. I have to burn off more than I take in.
I am looking forward to learning what DrP says about exercise. I bet I already know.. but maybe I am wrong.
______________________________
Page 4.
On this page I underlined...
Not quick and easy ....being overweight , never doing anything constructive about it... MAKE IT HAPPEN ...It will happen because you have made the decision to step up and do what it takes to have what you want.
I bolded the MAKE IT HAPPEN.!!!! No more wishing... I have to take the action.
_____________________________
Page 5.
PERMANENTLY .... take the decisive and effective action. .... get real .... keep it off
The key words here are Decisive and effective. I have wasted a lot of time and years on doing lots of uneffective attempts. If what I have done has not worked... then it is time for me to do what DrP says will.
______________________
Page 6.. This is a good one too...
"But for you to succeed, you have to translate this knowledge, awareness, and insight into ACTION. ....
If you will ... you will lose ... if you don't ... you won't."
Need I say more.
______________________
page 7
I want to type out the ENTIRE second paragraph. This is ME !!!
SHAME... DRAINED ..... underlying HOPELESSNESS ...
But I am not... I choose to focus on the next quote....
"Don't you give in to it !!!! don't give up before you start... That is the language of losers..."
I am starting with a CLEAN SLATE !!! I am putting the past behing me where it belongs and I am going to put my focus on what I do RIGHT and forget what I have done wrong in the past.
_______________________
Page 8
When you choose your behavior and your thoughts, you choose the consequences ....
Choose to feel very calm and very relaxed ... worthy... going to succeed....

It's about changing... what you eat... why you eat...where you eat... when you eat... and how you eat.

Changing yourself from the inside out..... so that it is as normal as breathing.

Our behavior determines our consequences.
The CHOICE IS OURS.
______________________
Well that is it for today. I have more reading to do.... AND EXERCISING and WISE FOOD CHOICES. I know that much already ... even without having read this book. LOL
This book is sort of like the AA book for alcoholics I think.
You put the plug in the jug ... and then study the book to see the whys and hows to keep it plugged.

good stuff here...
 

That was a GREAT post, 2cute...lots of good insight.

You know, this is EXACTLY what we have all needed. This is the kind of stuff that gets results. Digging into our brains, examining the reasons we do what we do, finding ways to change, discussing, comparing, learning. I am so totally motivated!

oh ho! I am a MASTER con man!!! I usually have a severe case of the "gonnas..." "Gonna go for a walk, gonna start the diet again today, gonna go to the gym..." and yet...........:chin:

:lol:

So where's everyone else who's "doing" Dr Phil? :o Oh, you know what I mean! ;)

All right, I HAVE to get off the computer now. And get moving. And not just SAY I'm "gonna." This time I mean it!

:drill: Okay - the first thing I highlighted in my book was get real about fat or stay real fat. That is the truth - I've just been in denial - trying to ignore it :dizzy:

The biggest thing I got out of this chapter is that willpower is a myth. I always have thought that I need to have tremendous willpower to make any type of "diet" succeed. And looking at it as a "program" change - that makes it so much better :p

And, we are changing ourselves - for the better, from the inside out - just like it says in the book.

kat - I love the image of Terri opening her window & watching her doubt fly away - cool :cool: - and the "I'm gonna" man oh man I'm notorious for having a bad case of the "I'm gonna's!"

Terri - I never thought of the "having too" as failure thinking either . . .

2 cute - wow - awesome post . . . you really did do your homework! ;) And, keep them as detailed as you like. I like to read others detailed thought on this stuff. :lol:

Gotta run, got a crabby baby in the other room. I'm gonna try to re-read the points I highlighted and see if there are any other "revelations" for me :fr:

Back at y'all later! :goodluck:

Donna, I was going crazy trying to find what you posted on the pages you mentioned. :?: I decided that we must not have the same book.! Then I remembered that I have the Large Printversion. No wonder we were not on the same page :lol:

Anyway I liked what you had to say. Just out of curosity, how many pages in your chapter 1? There are 41 in my chapter 1.

Now to what jumped out for me:

1) I'm still looking for the "something you can take tonight that promises slim tomorrow" I know that is my problem. I want to be thinner, but I don't want to have to work at it.

2.)The next follow that up...it will happen becauseyou have made the decision to step up and do what it takes to have what you want!

3.)I liked that he says it's a coherent doable plan that will help us do this right, one time, beginning now.

4.)ACTION

5.)The next is going to be hard, because I'm not converted to Dr Phill yet...
"being open to this book and everything in it"

6.) In the First key " If you believe it, it is real for you."

7.) 2nd key I know I "eat to medicate" myself, and I deny that I have emotional issues with food.

8.)3rd key "getting rid of the clothes of your plus size life" Throw something away???

9.) 4th Key "identifying why I persist with the bad food habits, and replacing them with actions designed to weaken their hold over us.

10.) 5th Key Convienience Not sure I can give that up.

And that's as far as I've gotten. But I wanted to add my 2cents before I forgot what I'd read!

Great insight going on.

I'm going to buy Kat a Dr. Phil T-shirt. :rofl:

Another Dr. Philsm - Insight without action is a waste of effort.

I am not as obsessed with him as it sounds since I seem to know all his Philism. :o

Are we discussing each day how we applied what we learned in Chapter 1?

I talked to DH tonight about the way he sees his weight loss efforts. That he has to want to do this for him not because I tell him he needs to for his health. Great, now I'm telling him he has to want it!

Terri: I was "hit" with the also. He is right, I don't have to. I can live the rest of my life fat if I so choose! (but I don't)

2Cute: This is one of my issues also. I even tell myself this while telling myself I am lying to myself! HOW sick is that!

Here are the things I highlited so far. (I am taking this slow, SO I GET IT INTO MY BRAIN) I have gotten through page 9. (slow and sure wins the race!!! :kickcan: )

1. The strategies I require must be mine and mine alone.

2. I have to make a decision.

3. When I choose my behavior and my thoughts, I choose the consequences that flow from those choices. (put the blame where blame is due) :mad: I do live by these words in all other parts of my life, but have never applied them to my body.

4. I choose to feel very calm and very relaxed. (my new mantra)

Well, I am liking this.

Terri, can I go in with you????

Maybe I could get her a matching cap? :lol3:

LOVE this one.


Excellant idea. :cp: :idea: Even while reading the first 9 pages I have been wondering how I would make this time different, make it work! You have hit on the perfect solution. :thanks:

Barb... I only have 20 pages in chapter 1. :lol:
I bet you thought..."That woman is nuts." :crazy: LOL LOL
After reading what you posted... I am not sure I want to read the rest of the chapter. :lol:
Get rid of my fat clothes !!! :eek: Give up convience !!!! I don't know if I can do that. LOL

Terri.. I have to rewrite your quote...
"Insight without action... is a waste of insight" LOL
It is true about knowledge too.
I get sooooo MAD at myself because I have all this "insight and knowledge" and I don't use it. Well ... let me rephrase that... in the PAST I never put that knowledge into action. I am trusting DrPhil to change that about me. :crossed:
One thing that helps me "want" to change is another one liner....
"A person who is capable of reading and doesn't ... is no better off than someone who cannot read."

Lucky... I have a oneliner for you too. It applies to that quote about making a decision.
"A decision without ACTION is merely wishful thinking"
I learned that one years ago. It has helped me often.
When I want to eat something that is a no no... I talk to myself.... I remind myself... I have made a decision to eat healthy ... and it is my actions that makes it more than wishful thinking."

Okay... I still have not read the rest of the chapter. I was busy cleaning the garage Sunday.. and today.. I was busy procrastinating. :o :lol: :lol3: I guess that is not funny. :o LOL

From page 4 (small print version)
This is what I'm working on today. Really getting in ingrained into my thinking that because I HAVE made this choice, it will happen. It is happening. I don't think I've really recognized what I have achieved. I have lost 25.6 pounds since last January. Its been slow and its been frustrating. Why? Because I haven't totally lived up to my decision and let self-sabotage and excuses keep me from achieving my goal. Because I had that doubt. Now, I don't. I am going to look long into the mirror and see how I have changed and see what I WILL become.

I'm not sure I want to be this honest, even with myself!

Barbg... :lol: :lol: :lol:
I thought the same thing last night when I read Key 3 in Chapter one.
"This is is all about burning external bridges" ... I have spent my ENTIRE LIFE NEVER burning bridges behind me. I have passed it on to my kids.... (although they don't listen) :lol:

My Tuesday Tip is... Don't look too far ahead.
Just take it one chapter at a time and one step at a time.
Thankfully I am not there yet. LOL
Chapter one is just a summary of what is to come.
You are not there yet. As your signature says....
HANG IN THERE !!!

Makes Sense But That Have Never Stopped Me Before!
 

I have completed chapter one, but I want to re-read it again, especially the lines that I highlighted in my book. Here are a few things that stood out:

"So decide: do you want to keep fooling yourself or not?" (pg 3) - But it is just so easy!!!!!! I really need to get real.

"All it requires is a willing spirit and an open mind." (pg 5) - He said open mind not mouth. I need to remember that.

"Maybe your weight problem is draining your life energy day by day, and making you feel miserable about yourself and your future." (pg 7) - Numb is the word. I am just existing not really living.

"Because your life is created from the inside out, you must first get right with yourself on the inside." (pg 11) - This is definitely the truth. I sometimes wish that my brain could be instantly reprogrammed so that I wouldn't 'need' food to reduce stress and calm emotions.

By the way, I too really loved Kat's description of Terri letting go of doubt. I am not there yet, but working on it.

Susie

This is what I'm striving for - to live a healthy lifestyle every day without obsessing every day if I've done enough or not eaten too much. For me, having to count points or counting calories can lead up to being obsessed with food still but in a different way. Life becomes about how many points you have left and how many activity points you've earned. I don't want that - I want it to come naturally. And maybe it won't and life will be about counting points every day.

But we do have to retrain ourselves so that this isn't a temporary thing. This does have to be for life.

Boy do I need to say these words several times a day!!"Get real about fat or stay real fat."...I also think Dr. Phil is aggrivating at the very least, but if his words can help so be it..nothing else is working long term for me...

I sat reading your posts in here this morning with tears in my eyes! Kat's description of Terri letting go of doubt was so positive and for a brief moment I felt that I, too, can be free one day! What a joyous feeling that was!

NO MAYBES ABOUT THIS ONE:
Maybe your weight problem is draining your life energy day by day, and making you feel miserable about yourself and your future." (pg 7) - Numb is the word. I am just existing not really living.

It loks like it is going to storm ny minute, and Laura is on my lap because of the thunder...There was so much more I wanted to add....but it will have to weight until next time...Love to all..

7 Keys ...
 

Well, I can't believe it is late Friday night/early Saturday morning and I am just now finishing reading Chapter One. :o It is good that I have made a commitment to this one chapter per week or I would have procrastinated another entire week before finishing the chapter.

I left off at page 9... The Seven Keys to Permanent Weight Loss
The last sentence on this page is highlighted... "commitment to change ... keep moving forward through all seven keys"
COMMITMENT !!! I have made a commitment to do this book study and that is why I am here at 2am.

Page 10 "Even if you are familiar with a certain key, STUDY IT...study it for reinforcement and encouragement ... put into action ....build success ... go through keys in sequence .... resist the urge to jump ahead."

He also talked about our problems with "immediate gratification".
This applies to eating as well as recovery. I want immediate gratification when I want something to eat. One reason I hate cooking is because it takes so darn long and it is so much easier to just grab something. "Immediate gratification"
The same is true for me about exercise. I hate having to dress and drive someplace, park, walk the parking lot, sign in, then hike to the workout area before I even start. :rolleyes: That takes EFFORT on my part. It is not immediate gratification. That is why I am more successful if I can get out of bed and just do it. BUT even then... do I ??
Also... I want immediate gratification as far as RESULTS are concerned too.
I am like a spoiled child. You know the type.... no body likes them. LOL
No wonder I don't like me either. LOL

I can't tell you how many times I have stayed on program for 10 days and "feel" like I should be skinny by now. :o LOL There is that "Immediate gratification" again.
Obviously you can tell.. that hit a cord with me.

page 11 - Key One - Right Thinking
I marked almost this entire page.
Personal Truth.... If you believe it... you will live it.
Your deepest understanding of who you are.
Every thought you have... there is a corresponding physical reaction.
Because your life is created from the inside out, you must get right with yourself inside.
Discard all toxic messages... replace them with realistic, positive thoughts.
Once you step through this step, you will reclaim self control

Wow ... I can relate to all of this. I am not going to go into great details now since this is just an overview of what is to come... but in OA you accomplish this "right thinking" by taking a personal inventory of yourself and giving it to God and another human being. I am curious if this is DrPhils instructions too. ??
As a matter of fact... a lot of what I have read of DrPhils 7 Keys are very similar to AA's 12 Steps.

Page 12- Key Two - Healing Feelings
Many eat as a way to medicate themselves .. eat as a form of celebration.
Learn how to break the cycle of overeating in response to emotions and stress.
This key helps you identify and control
I know I eat for many emotional reasons now. I did not always really know that. I thought I mainly ate for the joy of eating. Hmmm "JOY of eating" JOY... that is an emotion. DUH
But I have become aware more recently I STUFF my food when I am MAD. I don't necessarily eat a LOT.. but I eat "forcefully" if that makes any sense to anyone. I want to jam that sandwich in my mouth.

Key Three - A NO - FAIL Enviroment
External Control ... manage your environment so it is impossible to fail.
Burning bridges....do away with ALL reminders.
With this key you will make your life look, feel, and be different.
I have already written this will be a HARD key for me. I have always lived by "better safe than sorry".... "NEVER burn your bridges behind you". Thank goodness I have time to adjust to this life style before I get to that chapter. LOL

Key Four - Mastery over Food and Impulse Eating
Stubbornly... self destructive ....habits...feeding a need.
It is ESSENTIAL to master over food habits.
Specific ways you hurt your weight loss efforts
I am like a lot of you... I already know I do this.... hopefully DrPhil will help me quit.

Key5 - High Response Cost, High Yield Nutrition
putting taste, convince and instant gratification ahead of nutrition..
There are only two things you need to know about food.. only two.
Gee... I guess I will have to keep reading to find out what those two are.... he is a sneaky little fart now isn't he. LOL
You might have noticed.. I added the "instant gratification" myself. It was not written like that in his book. LOL I am soooooo bad when it comes to "instant gratification".

Key Six - Intentional Exercise
Gee ... does that sound familiar. :lol:
Exercise is now counted as one of the TOP lifestyle factors to help you lose weight and keep it off for good.
Balanced approach of simple strength-building and heart-conditioning exercises
You will be amazed by what your body can do
I did NOT highlight the section about people who get obsessed with exercising..... that is definitely NOT me. :lol:

Key Seven - Your circle of Support
"You must surround yourself with like-minded people"
OUCH !!! Get off my toes Dr. Phil !!!!
I have been one of those people who you should not be hanging out with. :o
And... I get mad at my husband for not being supportive of me... when my example I show him is that I am not "really" that serious about this losing weight.
This Key is a very sensitive subject for me. It fills me full of shame and disgust about myself. It steps on my toes. I keep hearing DrPhil saying "GET REAL GIRL". "GET HONEST".
It effects me soooo negatively I almost want to pack my bags and run the other way.
BUT !!!! I am here to learn. I am here to CHANGE.
My past does NOT MATTER.... only my TODAY counts. Dr Phil told me that already. So... I am not going to put my tail between my legs and run... I am staying here and giving it an honest to goodness HONEST TRY. :yes:

Okay.. there are still 4 more pages to share about.. but that last key did me in. :faint:
I have to recuperate after that one. LOL

End of Chapter One...
 

I know it is after midnight but I have to get this last bit in before I can go on to Chapter 2.

Book Quotes in blue...
Page 16 ..
"You will never be able to change what yo do not acknowledge.
Working interactively.. mentally, emotionally, behaviorally and socially
Figure out obstacles .. match workable solutions.
Action filled steps
Stay accountable
Changes REQUIRED"

Page 17..
"You Don't need Willpower
You believed that you failed because somewhere inside you, you were weak and inadequate.
Willpower is a myth
No one stays fired up continously
The seven keys do not depend on willpower for success."

Page 18....
PROGRAM YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS
I highlighted almost this entire page. LOL But here are a couple of special thoughts I got....
"Developing a lifestyle that creates healthier behavior
PROGRAM YOUR LIFE... remove junk food from your kitchen... arrange your schedule to accommodate exercise and activity.
Say good bye to your old overweight self and behaviors"
I highly recommend you read this page thoroughly.

Page 19...
"We will do this together, so don't feel intimidated...
May be hard at first...
What I want you to focus on is requiring more of yourself, starting right NOW.
This is one meal at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time.
All of that is definitely the same as OA program.

page 20..
If you concentrate on the here and now, the present moment, believe me, your weight will come off.
Set reasonable and realistic goals for change.

I think all of this was pretty self explanatory .. plus I still need to start on chapter two. LOL
I am proud of me :smug: ... I got it all in... and it is before 2am. LOL LOL
I only have 2 more weeks until the wedding and then I hope to post daily and share how I am appling these techniques in my life.
Cheers. :coffee:

2Cute, while reading "your reading" :lol: I couldn't help but think.. This weight issue is the same as our "humans/things" issue except this time we have to put OURSELVES ahead of things.

I do the same things with diet & exercise I do with "humans/things" . I ALWAYS put cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, etc BEFORE getting a healthy lunch ready to take to work and exercising so my body feels better.

I have to work on putting 'this' human before things along with all the others. :( I will need help!!!! :kickcan:

Lucky... while reading "your reading" ... about my reading.... :lol: :lol: ... I see that is true about myself too. Our recovery process has to come BEFORE our.. ooppss ... MY computer games and HGTV. :drill:
Thanks for pointing that out. I forget that sooo quickly. :o