Betsy— Thanks for your kind words: they mean a lot to me. Your analysis of the problem is way more sophisticated than I would've been able to do. Even though I was writing programs (Fortran, Basic, & Cobol =laugh=) in high school, had my first dial-up account (to an IBM 360 =another laugh=) in 1970, wrote programs in the early 1980s during a stint doing neurophysiology research, got my first personal computer in 1987, got on the Net in 1989, trouble-shot a kernel in order to get onto the text-only Web in 1995, and wrote my own HTML for a cluster of websites in 1996-8 (to my considerable amazement, they all still work)... I've never taken a computer course, never worked in IT, and haven't had to do any serious trouble-shooting (just the predictable minor hassles with balky software, security patches, & OS upgrades) in 20 years. We have 3 computers in our home network, including my own laptop with a Linux OS (having hated Windows to the point of boiling fury at times, boy, do I LOVE that, and I even know enough Unix/Linux commands to use its shell, too =big smile=).

However, when I got an iPad 2 on April 14, 2011, it quite literally changed my life—that's why I remember the date! I got it to make digital paintings with, and have had a good time doing just that, but little did I realize that my trusty iPad (with which I have always used a stylus, from Day One: fingers are stupid, not to mention very greasy, compared to the familiar lifelong skills you have with quickly moving a pen-like object around) would instantly become my everyday computer. What hooked me on it is the fact that I can easily use it while sitting or sprawling wherever I want, with two cats in my lap, anywhere in the house, anywhere that has WiFi (e.g., Starbucks) for the Web and email, but also anywhere else (like the farm, which doesn't have WiFi, which is quite relaxing) for writing, painting, taking photos, etc., etc. And it works just great as a Kindle, so I read lots of books on it, because our house is choked to the gills with paper books. I even did NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) on my iPad 2, writing 53,000 words with my stylus (fast!) in 30 days. (By the way, a silicone sleeve for the back & edges is essential: without it, the iPad would be slippery and hard to hold with one hand—not good at all. With that sleeve on, I can carry it around—up, down, anyhow—in my left hand while walking, dancing, you name it...)

In 2014 I wanted to move up to an iPad Air, mostly because it's lighter in weight while having the same-size screen—a much better screen in fact, in terms of resolution. I was so deeply emotionally attached to my iPad 2, though, I couldn't bear to part with it until I had someone to give it to who would never ever put a game on it, who would use it much the way I'd been using it, for creative/educational/musical/social pursuits. (The idea of just abandoning my beloved companion was completely unacceptable!)

Guess what: my great-niece Grace was the perfect person. Her parents were floored when I told them, and started gushing about how generous I was. They meant generous in a material sense, which utterly disgusted me! After fuming about that for a couple of days, I calmed down enough to explain to them carefully that material generosity—any kind of generosity, in fact—had nothing to do with it, that I needed to give my iPad 2 to Grace, and I needed for Grace to use it and bond to it as I had, or I wouldn't be able to buy an iPad Air! So indeed that happened, much to my immense pleasure. I wiped out all of my apps and stuff, we registered it to her, she gave it a brand-new name, and her mom bought her a case in her favorite color. And she's been using it for email, the Web, flash cards for studying Latin on the school bus, etc., etc.—every day, ever since. And her high school library has WiFi—howzabout that... (But I did have a little cry—not when Grace was around, of course—when my surgically-attached-to-me iPad2, named Longimanus for the species of shark that was the first thing I drew on it, died.)

So I bought an iPad Air at Amazon, which arrived in one day (free shipping), and named it Stella—because I'm very attached to stars, and I knew it would please Latin-loving Grace. I look at a lot of artwork online, so I really appreciate the higher-resolution screen. But even the iPad2 was always brighter and more artwork-friendly than any computer I've ever had. And of course Stella has on it everything (even my 53K-word rough draft of a novel) that Longimanus did.

I don't know why I told you all of this. I just felt like it, I guess. And it kept me from eating an extra serving of muesli. =laugh=

Back to your problem, Betsy, just briefly: Did the site appear to you with a different graphical interface? If so, click around on the site—perhaps going to the home page, I don't know—until you find a grey bar near the bottom of the page labeled something like "Full Site." That will take you back to the old version.

Why should you bother to look for the old version? Because I really think it doesn't have the same user-clocking characteristics as the new one, because I have not once been logged off the old version, nor have I ever lost a posting unless I made an obvious mistake, like closing the tab before hitting "Submit." (I did that once: duh....) Maybe I told you this long boring story about my history with computers and iPads, which took well over an hour to write, in order to prove that to you. I'm even going to throw caution to the winds and hit "Submit" now, without saving the text to clipboard. =grin= Which reminds me to ask you: writing your postings in Word is super-safe and all that, but wouldn't it be easier to just do Ctrl-A Ctrl-C? I'm puzzled that you're not doing that...

P.S. added after hitting "Submit": as you can see, it posted just fine.

Fi I hope the medical marijuana situation works out for you. During my years without medication for my bipolar disorder I used that as a means to help my symptoms. I still smoke now not just for help with my symptoms but for the way it makes me feel. It really calms me down when I feel really high strung. Too bad you don't live here I have connections ;)

Betsy Did I just hear a Ramones reference in your post??? I'm glad to hear you say you aren't leaving!!! I was really sad in that last post but can relate that it is getting annoying with this last update. If something doesn't get fixed soon I suspect a lot of people who use this site will leave. I really miss Ubee and can't afford to lose you too :)

Cindy Having a better day today, thank you. I feel your pain with 2 days to gain 4 to lose. I've been a good girl and not gotten on my scale but once this week to basically test a theory that I made up in my head lol

Rayne Hi!!!! Welcome!!! You have come to the right place for support in your weight loss journey! We are all here for one another and love having new people join our group!!! Tell us a little bit about yourself and how things are going with starting your journey when you feel comfortable. We are here for you!!!

So yesterday was terrible. Luckily I did not emotionally eat from it. I was at work, behind as usual with no one offering to help and my boss asked me about someone who as behind on a payment if I had called them to remind them of their payment. Anytime we get a cancellation notice on anyone's policy we call them to remind them to make their payment before it cancels as a courtesy. It's a nice thing to do for the customer but in the back of my mind I think of how no one calls me to remind me of my payments because I'm a responsible adult and know when bills are due..smh. Anyway! That's been a part of my job for a long time so it's no big deal. I didn't realize I had a note in my file that I needed to call this person because as I mentioned, was behind on new things coming into the office that my current clients I haven't been able to keep up with. I got snapped at for not calling them yesterday and when I said I'd call at that point, I get a snarky "good job". Of course this put me in an irritated mood. I didn't say anything and just went on about my day dropping everything that was pertinent that needed to be done, to appease my boss and do what she felt was more important like calling people about their payments instead of me making more money for the agency by selling more insurance policies =sigh=. At the end of the day I answered a call that would have gone to the other girl that works with me. I put the man on hold and told her what the call was about and she walked back to her desk to answer the phone, but at that time she asked me to wait just a second before I sent the call because her cell phone was ringing and needed to make sure it wasn't about her kids. My boss then yells as me to "send the damn call" in which case I replied I was just waiting since she asked me to hold on a minute, and then sent the call as she requested. At that point it was after 4PM when our office is closed and I am no longer getting paid to be there. My boss then decides to call me out and says "I don't know what this attitude is today, but it's stopping right now." The fire that was about to make my head explode had to be shoved down as best as I could. I didn't say one word. I turned my computer off, grabbed my stuff and said have a good night. We constantly walk on eggshells around her because of her bipolar actions. I am almost 100% she has bipolar disorder but does not believe in "modern medicine". She would rather take something that says "all natural" that is nothing more than a placebo. Anyway that ruined my entire day. I ended up talking with the other girl I work with that's in our other location for over an hour last night on the phone because of how upset I was. She really helped me calm down and made me feel better knowing it wasn't me and it was her. She is the one who helps me when she can when I'm really behind because she is not as busy in the office she is in compared to me. I really like her and appreciate her for all of her help and do whatever I can to make sure she knows how much I appreciate her. I don't like to take advantage of people so it really does make me uncomfortable when she insists on helping, but I've gotten to learn a bit that it's ok.

Today was a better day. I didn't get an apology...I don't think her pride would ever let her give an actual apology. She was overly nice to me today...maybe that's her way of saying sorry. For someone who is a very blunt, straight forward person with every single person she meets, whether it is good or bad, she has a real hard time accepting when she is wrong and making amends. It is always everyone else's fault. I learn to deal with it because I get paid well. I wish I got paid more because I know people who work in other cities and other areas in the industry get paid well for what I do, but in my town the money I make as an insurance agent is probably one of the highest paying jobs around here that doesn't require a college education. Everything is service industry here and people make the majority of their money is during the summertime. In the winter they have to either scrimp and save or do their best to hold on to any extra money from the summer in order to make ends meet and it sucks...been there, done that. I have a pretty good job despite her weird outburts and her being overly religious. I never talk about religion or politics with people, but I am ok to tell you guys that I am a free thinker. Its one of those things that you could get lynched in my town if that was still a thing, and it does make it weird working for a "Christian Agency" but I am polite and don't push my views on anyone although theirs are pushed on mine. That's just how it is here.

On the diet front everything is fine, no issues whatsoever. After work today I had to go pay my rent and do more shopping that I ran out of time for yesterday. That made me getting home super late to where I just couldn't muster up the energy to work out today, so that would be 2 days in a row for me. I'm ok with it, I will just make up for it this weekend. Instead of taking my usual rest day on Sunday I'll just have to get in some sort of exercise. I am hoping to see the scale go down this week. I have worked really hard with not drinking sodas. I did have one tonight but that would be the first this entire week and it was only because I was out and it was convenient. I bought me two 12 packs of flavored seltzer so that has helped me with wanting something bubbly. Trying to make sure I get in as much water as possible.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday....and I don't plan on doing one single thing that involves work Betsy. I don't do it every weekend but it has been helping me with playing catch up. But it seems you are right...It goes unnoticed so I don't see the point.

Take care my friends....thanks for always being here <3

Betsy— OK, this is important. I was wrong. The big grey bar labeled "Full Site" is only on the "Mobile One" version, which has a huge font and other idiotic-looking features that look like they're designed for cell phone users.

However, I found a way to toggle between three different versions. Look down on the bottom of the screen on the left for a small grey selection bar. On my iPad, it gives me the choices of "Mobile One," "vBulletin 3,” and "3FC Healthy Weight Loss Support Forums vBulletin 3 Style." The last one, with all those words, is the version I've been using, and it looks exactly like the version before all the changes, not like the "vBulletin 3" version at all.

If you can see that selection bar, and it gives you two choices, no matter what they're labeled, choose the one you're not on now: that should be the old version. And if you get flipped back to the other version for some reason—I've gotten flipped back to the "Mobile One" version a couple of times—just go back down to that small selection bar, and go back to the old version.

If—and I suppose this is a big "If"—you have that selection bar, and can stay on the old version, that should solve your problem.

And of course you can turn on ad blocker in Google Chrome to wipe out the ads. What I find in my browser is that having ad blocker turned on sometimes gives me a blank screen when I try to go to some site. It happens most often when I'm using Google to go shopping for a specific item, so before I do that, I just toggle my ad blocker off for a while. Then it's easy enough to toggle it back on after my shopping is done. If ad blocker gives me a blank screen any other time, more often than not I decide that site is not worth going to. I kinda feel like my ad blocker is protecting me from indiscriminate browsing to sites that are going to suck my info or something equally noxious. It never interferes with my going to the half a dozen sites that comprise the bulk of my online world. Way back in 2013, my favorite foreign language dictionary/editor/translator/resource (reverso.net) used to have those horrible "Lose Your Belly Fat" ads when I was trying to stay entirely within the French language for several hours. I was so ticked off by seeing English words at such times, I switched to a browser that blocks ads. Whew!

I sure hope you have that selection bar!

Hi everybody. Sorry I haven't checked in for a couple of days...I have had the Mummy and Daddy of all migraines for a couple of days. I used to suffer regularly but since I gave up work they have been really infrequent. Not sure where this one came from..my guess is that I still have some lady hormones lurking and that is what triggered it. I have certainly felt very low and fed up as well as the migraine.
Back to normal with personal and what have you soon!
Hugs
Donna

Good morning. It's another breezy, overcast day here, but spring is trying so hard to appear. And I promise that I'm about done with the drama of the lost posts. Do you all think that Fi and I should write a book?

Fi – I so appreciate all you've done to help me with getting this lost posting mess resolved! I had found the gray bar box at the bottom of the page, but it didn't have the option you referred to. Then last night in bed it dawned on me that you were probably on the mobile version. And today I read your post and ta-da. Loved your post about your experiences with technology and your love affair with your ipad. I've got an Air, too, but just about everything that is typed I do on my PC. Don't know why – probably old habits from work.

Cindy – Yep, 2 days of wildness and 4 days of repentence. Or whenever I have a sugar binge, I can gain between 5-10 pounds in 3-4 days and it will take 10-14 days to lose it again. So not fair! How's your foot doing. I have something similar and have just decided that after years of being too heavy, my feet hurt. Mainly I decided that because when I get down lower – even though I'm still over 300 – the pain goes away. Another reason to stay on plan.

RayneStorm – Thanks so much for sharing some background on yourself. Your job sounds as though it would be a challenge – definitely not something I could do.

Sam – Sounds like your boss was definitely having her own bad day. It happens, but not being able to apologize for it is just wrong. You work hard, and I imagine she would be shocked if you were to find a job with another agency – you know, “after all I've done for you” mentality. Hang in there. Missing exercising for 2 days may be a good break. I know you have a very good rotation going, but sometimes we just need some time off. So what's the new theory?

Donna – So sorry to hear about your migraine – they are absolutely awful and not a lot can touch them. Those lady hormones can definitely throw you for a loop. My mom used to get them so badly that she'd be in bed for a couple of days with the curtains closed because light caused her immense pain. The doctor would come to the house (back in the days of house calls) and give her a shot to knock her out. I've had one and hope to never have another. Hope you're back to normal soon.

Can't say enough good stuff about the water flavoring I've been using – Stur. Probably any water flavoring would work, but it's definitely making me drink a lot more water each day. It has not calories, so so problems with using it in every glass of water. I've now gone 7 days with being on plan. At the end of 30 days on plan, I am buying myself an X-Box. Just what every 66 year old grand needs. Have a great day.

Hi everyone.

Rayne, thanks for telling us about yourself. Good for you taking the first steps to lose weight. You have come to the right place.

Sam, sorry that you have to work for someone like that. I know your like your job but it's tough to have to walk on eggshells around your boss. I like the flavored seltzers too. I started drinking them last year when I gave up diet soda. This year I'm a little more lax with the diet soda but still only have a couple a week. I'm also one of those people who can drink plain water (as long as it has ice in it) and that is still my drink of choice throughout the day after my morning coffee.

Donna, glad you are feeling better. Those migraines are horrible. I used to get them, but fortunately I haven' had one since going through menopause. I guess the hormones do play a part.

Betsy, my foot is feeling better. Still hurts but not as much, so, like you, I've just decided that it is just another body part that hurts, like the knees, and sometimes the hips, and yes the pains do seem to lessen as I lose weight. I just wish that they weren't so debilitating at times. I think an Xbox is an excellent reward for staying on plan for 30 days. I have been thinking about getting DH one for his 70th in May. Either that or a Wii. You're never too old to play games!

Next week we are supposed to have a couple days in the 60s. I can't wait for that. We've had almost no snow at all this winter, but it has been cold. I'm ready for Spring. I just ordered new cushions for the outside dining set and can't wait to be able to sit outside again. DH said maybe he will even grill something for us.

We're going to a benefit tomorrow for a local disabled 11 year old boy. The benefit is to raise funds to get him a motorized wheelchair. The dinner is ham and cabbage, or corned beef and cabbage. I don't know if ham and cabbage is "a thing" (upstate New York has some strange food "things") or if it's just an alternate choice for those who don't like corned beef, but I chose the ham. I figure it's a little better choice diet-wise. Looking forward to the Chinese auctions too. I will probably drink but I'll plan for it by saving calories earlier in the day. No way am I going to blow this weekend like I did last weekend. I don't want to spend all next week trying to lose the same weight again.

I may not post tomorrow so I hope you all have a great day.

Donna Sorry you haven't been feeling well. DH has been battling headaches and the like due to allergies. I'm slowly starting to get the allergy headaches myself. It's so early to be feeling like this especially with having some cold days and some slightly warmer days. It's not fully spring here yet so I don't get it. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

Betsy Yeah I think she was having a bad day. Overall she is a really great boss. She pays me pretty well although you and I both know it's never enough. She just recently decided to pay for all of us to have our own AFLAC cancer, accidental, dental and vision policies and we aren't having to pay a cent which is really nice of her because nobody around here does that. I have health insurance and so does DH but we don't have dental of vision so that will help us get some money back when we go for those services. She's done a lot of other things for me and the other girls but you're right on the money with the being wrong for not apologizing. I'm over it, but it can be annoying sometimes and gets me in a mood when it does happen like that. I was just curious to see how my body was reacting weight wise to certain foods there for awhile. I'm noticing the less carbs I am eating the better for me. I think I'm starting to find the right balance again so that is a great thing. Hopefully I'll get to losing again. Also, since I know you have a green thumb I wanted to ask you about planting brussel sprouts. Have you ever grown them? I have some seeds that I bought last year that never got planted. I haven't ever planted vegetables from the seed since I was a little kid and my mom did basically all the work, and we had a yard. I'm going to have to do it in containers. The packet says to start them indoors. I was thinking of using an old egg carton for them to start, but do they need to be in direct light or is there a certain place that is good to help them get started? I want to get some tomato and possibly cucumber started soon too.

Cindy You're right. I do like my job but it can be hard having to watch what you say or how you say them sometimes. The majority of the time it isn't bad at work, but when it does get bad it's really bad. The fact that I am constantly feeling like I can't get anything done because of how busy I am with new stuff gets me feeling bogged down and obligated to work on the weekends. I just can't do it. My brain is fried, I'm not getting paid to do extra work, and I should be able to enjoy my weekends so I'm not doing it anymore. If it gets done, it gets done, and if not well maybe I need an assistant to help with that sort of stuff. According to her there isn't enough money to hire someone else yet until she pays off what she owes to the previous owner who sold her the agency. Meanwhile she somehow paid to have an extension put on her house with a new kitchen and is remodeling her bathroom...hmmm...priorities much? I hope everything goes well for the young boy at the benefit this weekend. I've only heard of corned beef and cabbage....but I'm sure ham and cabbage is good too. I can tear up some corned beef omg it's so good, but you're right the ham is probably the better choice.

Today was another busy day for me at work. None of my work got done other than what was coming in as new stuff. I really need to finish getting organized but I'm not going to bother with it on my days off. Got home and was pooped but I pushed myself to work out. I did a 45 minute Chalene Johnson video...That's really what I've been doing lately is her different videos instead of going to the gym. I've been really enjoying it. I put my all into it but I wasn't able to work as hard since I was so tired and exhausted. I'm making BBQ chicken with sweet potato and green beans for dinner tonight for DH and I. The chicken just finished, just waiting on the potato in the oven. They are so good tasting when they are cooked that way. DH got some birthday money from his dad so I think tomorrow we are going to go check out some video games and maybe trade some of our old stuff in that we don't play anymore. There's a really cool mom & pop game store we have here that sells everything under the sun...old retro games, comic books, graphic novels, new games, action figures, manga, anime videos, clothes, posters, DVDs and they have an arcade where the plays are .25 a piece just like the old days. We really enjoy going in there to see what they have that's new and the people who work there are super nice and usually give us a pretty good deal on trade in credit since we frequent the place. Hoping tomorrow will be a nicer day than today so I can get a walk in outside and maybe get DH to go with me.

I'm ready for a shower and to relax. Going to enjoy this weekend the best I can and hope to see my scale move on Sunday. I've been trying so hard!!!!!

Hi everyone,

It seems like forever since I've provided an update so I just wanted to pop in to say hi and that I hope you are all doing well.

I forget where I was in terms of progress the last time I posted, but I've been progressively losing weight (progress photos below). Getting through each day (and living life) is just so much easier now from an energy perspective...finally feel like I'm becoming the person I felt like on the inside, but never had the energy to be on both the inside and outside (if that makes sense).

In terms of overall stats, I'm down around 130 pounds since June. Blood pressure is fully controlled, no longer require a CPAP machine to sleep, no longer pre-diabetic--all levels tested are normal, and resting heart rate dropped roughly 20 points from mid-80s in June to mid-60s now. Needless to say, I love MFP and Fitbit...those two apps alone really helped me change my life.

I still have a long two months to get through (tax season) but I feel like I've found my 'groove' and am confident/excited about the future. Can't wait for the warmer weather to arrive this year so I can get out and try more things that I never would have even considered trying before.

Will try to pop in more often. Forums are great for support.

http://emilyfit.com/photos/timeline.jpg

Emily!!! So glad to hear you are doing well!! We have missed you but so glad to see your progress is great!! Your pictures go girl you are rocking it!! You look amazing!!!!!!

Hi everyone, I hope you are having a good day! I am hot, cranky and in need of a bit of a vent that has little to do with weight loss and a little to do with what helped put the weight on.

Today, like most weekends, I spent my time doing extra stuff to help out at my job; all unpaid labour, all in front of my boss and his wife, just me and another woman I work with. I don't mind doing it as I am young, the other woman is older and more experienced and I see it as me learning how to be better at my job and becoming a better employee. Time after time after time, this other woman I work for gets all the credit from my boss, the community, other staff and everyone in the general vicinity, and I am never mentioned. I am not jealous, however sometimes, I wish I could be recognised for my work. While everyone else was asleep at 5am this morning, I was loading, washing and brushing livestock to get them ready for yet another show. So when the boss shows up, he is full of praise for this other woman and hardly acknowledges me. It makes me feel like I don't exist. I try so hard, and it is getting me nowhere. I am tired, sunburnt, bruised and stressed, and to add to that, I am left feeling inferior to this other woman, yet again.

Secondly, I arranged to visit my parents today after the show. They assured me they would be home, so I went over to their place. I waited 2 HOURS and they still hadn't come home. So I go back to my place, and 20 minutes later, there is a knock on the door. My parents decided to come around and tell me all this new gossip about my brother and his love triangle ridiculous relationship that a grown man should be mature enough to avoid. Then I heard about my Nan's drama, my sisters ongoing drama with her on again off again abusive boyfriend, my mums thoughts on my other brothers nasty girlfriend, and the dramas mother is having at work. Not once did she ask about me, or my day. Yet again, I have been left feeling like an after thought to my own mother. I try so hard to make her happy, I drop everything and run over to help her when she needs it, and I usually don't get angry when she starts gossiping or whinging about my siblings' problems, but today I was pretty angry.

Lately, things have been really horrendous for me and a few other people at work. The business isn't going so well, and given that I am young, one of the newest people to be hired and that I do not have a permanent job (I am hired as a contractor), I am feeling really anxious about my place there, I feel under valued and unappreciated, and the constant mind games are really starting to cause some serious mental health issues for me. I just feel ready to run away.

To top it off, I feel lonely as ****. My friends are all busy off traveling/having babies/going to university, and I just feel stuck, and almost abandoned. My partner works away a lot and lately when he has been home, its like his mind is somewhere else. He isn't interested in anything outside of the TV, and that includes me. We never go to bed together like we used to, and haven't been intimate in over a month. That in itself makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me, or if he is losing interest because I am losing weight and slowly starting to look different to the person he fell in love with. I don't know.

A short than usual pop in from me today as I want to head in to Costco, the bank, and the grocery store and it's Saturday. I know you knew which day it was, but around here everyone and their mother goes to town on Saturday so I want to be at Costco when it opens.

Cindy – Glad your foot is feeling better. I am so looking forward to weighing less and seeing just how much real damage my joints have versus them screaming at me because I'm putting way too much weight on them. I'm with you and being ready for Spring to pop. Mainly I'm ready for it to stop raining. This was supposed to be a warmer and dryer winter for us, but didn't happen. Way above normal on rainfall here. Enjoy the ham and cabbage – haven't heard of that either!

Sam – On starting the seeds, definitely read what the package says in terms of starting indoors or outside. For things like tomatoes and brussel sprouts, starting them in an egg carton is fine. If possible, put them in a window that gets Northern light, but not direct light or the little things will wilt. The ideal set up is with a heating mat underneath and a grow light, but that gets expensive. Then as the seedlings grow, you have to progressively transplant them to bigger pots, “harden” them before planting, and start early enough to have time for them to get big. Cucumbers don't transplant very well. One trick I do is take all the seeds – whether inside or out – and put them between moist paper towels and then place them inside a labeled baggie. That way they will have already germinated when you put them in the soil. Small seeds like tomato, carrot, and lettuce don't work too well, but works great with the larger seeds. On a note about your boss. One thing to keep in mind is that she has to keep her personal money and the business money totally separate from an accounting perspective or else she could be in a world of hurt. So, she's probably repaying the loan for buying the business from the income from the business while the extension on her house came from salary, savings, or other income that is hers personally. Now that doesn't mean that she doesn't pay herself a big salary from the agency, but they're definitely two different pools of money – or should be. Don't know if that helps any.

Emily – WOW!!!!! What an amazing difference. So happy for you on the weight loss and more importantly on the great improvements in your health.

Calda – There are just some days when it doesn't pay to get up. I hope you know that in terms of having friends and some support, you can always post here. Hopefully things will begin to look up for you soon.

Finally got the house cleaned yesterday including mopping the floors. I keep them vacuumed, but they desperately needed washing. WOW – what a difference. Better get some breakfast and get it in gear. Hope everyone has a great day.

Betsy— As you may have noticed, I can be a bulldog once I get my teeth into something. I assure you, the selection bar that allows you to toggle between alternate versons of the site is not on the mobile version: it's on both the new Vbulletin version and the old version. It's at the bottom of the page, to the left of the links for "Terms," "Privacy," etc. If you will please tell me whether you see a selection bar in that location, I will cease & desist. Again: I am using the old version, not the Vbulletin version nor the mobile version, and I have never been logged off. Nor have I ever lost a posting unless it was clearly my fault, even after writing for as long as two hours. (BTW, I love the idea of our writing a book together. Seriously! We could write about different approaches to weight loss for the 300+ person—what works, what doesn't work, personal choices, and so on. Not in the immediate future, but after we've both reached goal weight.) Anyway, thanks for humoring me... =smile=

caldawg— Awww, I'm so sorry to read about your problems at work. The fact that you have to come in on weekends and you're not paid for that sounds even more irksome, to me at least, than not being acknowledged for what you do. I guess I've been lucky never to work unpaid in my life, I mean unless it was on my own, like some of my writing and being an artist. Even though I've worked in a wide variety of stuff—from legal consulting to teaching sailing, you name it—the only jobs I've had that were paid by the hour, as opposed to a salary, were babysitting & tutoring as a teenager, and being a newborn nurse during med school. But as you say, you are learning. However, I'm such an inwardly feisty person (I make sure it doesn't show much on the surface), and so oriented toward pleasure, that I've hardly ever worked an hour in my life that I didn't LOVE working—including studying, during my many years of education. (If I didn't like the topic, I couldn't make myself study. As a result, I dropped several courses in college, and failed anatomy in med school the first time round. These days I enjoy reading about anatomy—which I'm busy doing because Mike is telling me to, for my rehab—so go figure...) If you're not being paid for extra hours or recognized as valuable, and it's not intrinsically rewarding labor (you didn't say whether it was), sheesh, caldawg, can you look for another job? As for being lonely when your friends' lives change and because your partner is away, I can identify with both of those. My dear dear friends from college days all had children—all of them—so even though we had—still have!—a set yearly get-together at college reunions, Bob and I stopped going to reunions many years ago, when toddlers and even older children were almost always doing something annoying that interfered with conversation, and plus, our friends' intelligence seemed to have declined as a result of being constantly obsessed with stupid childrens' culture. (Sorry if that's obnoxious to those of you who have, or love, small children—I have no problem at all with people who want to reproduce, that's their choice—but while I adore babes-in-arms, neither Bob nor I start liking even smart children until they get to be at least 9 or 10. It's one of several reasons we chose to be childfree. Plus, I'm not the only one, by far, who's irked by that decline-in-intelligence thing: I've read numerous articles & blogs about it, including ones written by the parents of small children!) And I've lived far apart from Bob, for two separate stints, and was mostly miserable during both of them—and that was before I became bipolar. Anyway, caldawg, I hear your plight! Is there any chance you and your partner could live on his income, and you could go back for more education? Or does that not appeal? And by the way, I'd love to hear more about the livestock part of your life, which sounds very cool to me. How did you get into it?

emily— Wow, your pictures are impressive, and your health improvements are even more so! I got off CPAP about twenty pounds ago, and I love being free of that darn machine. =smile= 'Glad to hear you've found your groove and feel upbeat about the future! Since you're new here, I'll give you two sentences about my physical situation: I had a severe metabolic illness in winter & spring of 2014-5, due to psychiatric meds, which ultimately caused me to become disabled—bedridden & using a wheelchair. I go to twice-weekly sessions with a healer (not an M.D.) in Qi ("chee") Gong, a broad term that encompasses all of Chinese medicine: my rehab is progressing sloooowly, but is progressing.

Sam— Sorry to hear about your lousy day/situation at work! If I were in your shoes, perhaps as bad as a boss who is temperamental would be the fact that she sounds like a micro-manager—hovering over you, paying too much attention to things like incoming phone calls that are your job, not hers. Managers always have other, better for the business, things to do than to be so involved in minutiae like that! One time when I was the director of a free-standing outpatient clinic in a medical school setting, my boss, the chairman of the department, called me up and asked (with no preamble), "What color of pansies do you like?" "What the f...?" I thought. As it turned out, he had noticed that the usual spring flowers (whatever they were) in a concrete bed in front of the clinic had not come up, so he was proposing to plant pansies there. The chairman of an academic department! You might think someone as aesthetically oriented as I am would've noticed an unsightly dried-up flower bed in front of a clinic with my name on the door and on a wall on the inside (not my choices, I assure you), but I grew up in ultra-hot, wet, tropical Houston where spring is very brief, in February and a bit of March, and involves mostly azaleas & camellias—bushes, in other words—and does not include any flower beds like that. (Plus there are tons of flowers that bloom nearly year-round.) And my chairman knew that, too—he even knew Houston! How was I to know that flower beds needed to be replanted or whatever, or when they were supposed to sprout in that city? And I was really busy with wearing several different hats in my job! I was so upset by his calling me over something so inane, without even a word of explanation before the question, I started paying more attention to his apparently friendly, casual visits to my clinic, and I realized he was downright spying on me—reading my residents' charts, talking to my secretaries and my nurse about day-to-day operations, and so on. Didn't he have better things to do than that? After that, my satisfaction in what had previously seemed like a plum job declined rapidly: I was being micro-managed long after I'd gotten there, and I didn't like that one bit. To this day, I'm still angry about that stupid pansy phone call—pretty stupid, I know, but it was symptomatic of a wide, insidious problem. Around the time I would've had enough nerve to confront my boss about hovering over me like that, I was so fed up for a bunch of other reasons, I just quit. =sigh=

This is way too long of a posting, which seems to be a problem of mine of late—I've been known before to spew words online when I feel stressed—so I'm afraid I'll have to stop writing personals and wrap this up before my best time of day for things that require lots of attention, the morning, is over. I started on a collage yesterday, and I'm eager to finish it! Plus, Bob and I are tentatively planning to go visit his sadly demented mother (Alzheimer's) today, so I need to get back to my collage pronto. I wish I could write about what happened when Bob bought me a family-size pack of Oreos (what was he thinking?!), but I don't have time, so never mind.... =sigh= Best wishes to all!

Hi Fiona, I actually only just finished University a few years ago, however I am looking into options for further education as we speak. As for the livestock and agriculture, I have always loved it. My grandfather had a massive farm when my dad was younger, however he sold it before I was born to make retirement for himself and my grandmother much more comfortable. I love cattle, however throughout my schooling and later education, I was not given many opportunities to learn how to work with them properly, unless they were dead; we did different dissections on livestock weekly for my course. The woman I work with has her own farm, as been in the industry for 30 years and is pretty good at what she does. The main reasons that I go to shows are to show my boss I am taking an active interest in the business, I am constantly meeting new connections in the industry who often carry a great deal of knowledge and further connections I don't know about, to work further on my animal handling skills, to improve my show preparation techniques and to gain better relationship with the people I work with. I am getting all of those things every time I go, so it is of great value to me. I also need this experience because one day, I will be doing this on my own, for my own farm when I eventually buy one. I guess I just get sick of hearing everyone screaming from the rooftops about how good this other woman is, when I do the exact same work as she does, I put in the same hours, I look after the farm when she goes away, and I still get no recognition. Oh and also, did I mention the fact that I really really desperately want to do this training that will help at work, and my boss is holding it over my head, saying yes one day and no the next? When I have already paid for it and have begun the work and that I am due to go on my first day next week? That is really messing with me. All because he isn't sure he can find someone to work for him those days, even though he will have a facility he cant use if I don't get this training as nobody else on staff can use the equipment? Yeah, its terrific.

My family situation right now is driving me bonkers. They have been really selfish lately, and can be a lot of the time, but I only realise it when I am really struggling and they have no time for me, unless they want to gossip about my siblings or other family members. Betsy is right, yesterday I probably should have just stayed in bed. My parents want me to go over again tonight, but I don't think I want to. I am going away for a few days with work, so they wont see me for a while. Maybe that might make them wake up to themselves.

I spoke to my partner last night and like always, he was great about it. He is a bit of a realist, and just says it like it is. He doesn't agree that I should go to shows of a weekend with work because I am not being paid, but it is something I will continue to do. Sometimes he dislikes my family for the way they treat me. They never show an interest in our lives, except for asking if my partner is at work and when he goes back to work. Yet they know the latest gossip on my sisters most recent argument with her boyfriend, or my grandmother and her partners latest fight about the colour of the carpet or blinds in the house they are building, I could go on. Mentally, I have not been this upset, stressed and anxious since high school. It is not healthy! I am still enjoying the gym though which makes things easier.

caldawg— Just one quick comment, then I'll respond to your great posting at more length tomorrow: I sure hope you took the night off, by yourself, doing whatever is your favorite variety of nothing! It sounds like you really need some "me" time. =smile=

P.S. Call me Fi ("fee")—if you'd like to, of course...

No worries Fi. I look forward to hearing from you :)