Bouncing Back From Rock Bottom
 

I became a widow on December 25, 2014. Since then I have gained 40 pounds of the previous 53 pounds I had lost. We had only been married for 3 months and had been together for 3 years.

I don't care about what I look like, just getting out of bed, going to work and coming home has been a struggle. I have no desire to work but since we had purchased a new car in October and moved into a new apartment on December 1st I have no choice. I am barely sleeping. I have no desire to exercise as this was something we always did together and I am physically and emotionally just to tired.

I am an emotional eater. For the last six months all I have ate is fast food, snack cakes, potato chips and I drink Pepsi by the gallon. This was something that I had learned to control in my previous weight loss journey, but with his death all control went out the window. Before his death I was drinking 100 ounces of water daily and now water is just something I bathe or swim in.

I have made a conscious decision that it is time to make a change. I feel horrible, I look horrible and I am almost back to my starting weight from 2011. I said I would never be here again and yet here I am sitting looking at 300 pounds in the very near horizon.

I am sure there will be lots of stumbles, slip-ups and tears while I try to figure this process out again. I know I can do this I have done it before. I also know I can not do this without the support, friendship and love of you folks that are going through this weight loss journey also.

My condolences on your loss. Don't beat yourself up over your coping mechanism. We all cope in different ways. This battle is more of a psychological battle than a physical one. It's difficult to learn a new coping mechanism. I wish you the best in your journey.

Oh, Hun, I didn't see this post! I don't know what to say...my heart breaks for you. I'm glad to hear you've found the strength to concentrate on your health.

Welcome back SmallSteps.
I am sorry for your loss.
You can do this. One day at a time.

So sorry for your loss! Please post often and let us know how you are.

Thank you ladies. I am taking one day at a time and so far I have lost a couple of pounds and cut out soda and have been drinking my water religiously so I think I am off to a good start.

Welcome back SmallSteps. Also sorry for your loss.

Sounds like you are starting to make progress -- good for you. Take it one day at a time.

Smallsteps ~ I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad your making positive changes in your life

Thank you ladies. I am struggling right now, but I am still fighting.

I am so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself and know that you are doing the best you can each day. And it is enough. Whatever it is, it is enough.