I came across the bin full of my old clothes that I set aside last year. These were the clothes that I had worn all summer. I remember being excited at the beginning of the season because I could finally get in to a pair of jean shorts. They were the biggest size I could buy at the time, but I was finally wearing shorts again like a normal person! Then of course by the end of summer, I could barely keep those shorts from falling off my hips and all my shirts looked like tents. When I packed them away I thought, I’ll give it one year. If I can keep my weight off by next summer, then I will donate them. After all, most of my closet is made up of clothes that don’t fit from the constant up and down of losing and gaining weight.
And today, one year later, I pulled the pair of jean shorts out of storage and tried them on. Wow. I could easily fit a large child or a small adult with me, there was so much room left! I immediately felt a rush of emotions – happy of course, for the first time in my life I was able to not only keep the weight off, but lose more, but I also felt sadness. How could I have let myself get so big? Why did I let so many years go by being unhappy? Why didn’t I think I was worth it?
Tonight those clothes are in the trunk of my car, waiting to be dropped off at the donation center. It is time to move on to a new phase of life. No more holding on to the past. Battling my weight is a fight I will always have to be in, but I realize now I am worth the fight! There is no going back.
