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-   -   300+ Chat Thread: November, 2013 (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/300-club/289311-300-chat-thread-november-2013-a.html)

gggirls 11-01-2013 06:20 AM

300+ Chat Thread: November, 2013

We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support, inspiration, and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.

We want to invite everyone (roosters as well as chicks!) to join us in our journey. We share laughter and tears, heartaches and fears ... joys and celebrations. We also share what works for us and what doesn't.

We have found this thread to be more than just a support group... we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us!

Ubee 11-01-2013 10:36 AM

Good morning!
I had a good day yesterday. It was hard at times but I stuck to my guns. I did not get my exercise in... I am hungry and will really need to stay focused.
My neighbor stopped by last night all skinny. She told me she has been on Herbalife. She looks so good. I can not wait until I get down far enough that 15 pounds will make a big differece.
Betsy, I love your Toby stories. I am so happy for you.
Jane, I hope all is well.
Watchout, you are right about falling off even during maintnence. I was reading on this forum last night about how maintnence is losing and gaining the same few pounds over and over for the rest of your life.
It is kinda quiet on here. I am a worry wart and I think I get too involved here. I worry when we don't hear from someone. This is such a difficult journey and I don't want anyone to feel they need to do it alone. This thread is not just for if you are losing. It is for when you are stalled, struggling, unmotivated, bored, sad, angry, scared...
How is everyone doing?

time4me2change 11-01-2013 01:01 PM

I feel completely broken today....

2 things happened.... and both baffle me.

I discovered that someone in my life has way too much influence on my self perception...... though to no fault of his own, it's all power I have apparently given him... (and honestly, I should have known this based on things I have said outloud to myself over the past few weeks)

he shattered me today (though I believe it was completely unintentional) and made me feel like the ugliest thing alive....

I feel like that irrational girl and think I finally understand the phrase "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" how the heck would I verbalize this to someone? Why the heck does someone have so much power over me?

Ubee 11-01-2013 01:09 PM

Time4me, I'm sorry this is happening to you. Please be kind to yourself and realize what an amazing person you are.

Fiona W 11-01-2013 01:20 PM

OMG, I can't believe I didn't eat candy on Hallowe'en!!! That's the very first time I haven't eaten candy on Hallowe'en since the 1950s: I'm not kidding! That should impress all you younger folks on this thread. =laugh=

And it was really tough, too. Bob and I turned out all the lights at dusk, as we planned, and we ended lying in bed together at the front of the house while the trick-r-treaters were trooping up and down our sidewalk, with their wild outfits and their excited voices. I was slammed with a candy craving like I don't know if I've ever experienced before—without giving into it, that is. But with my sweet husband's help, I rode it out. We talked about what I was going through and then I finally got it under control by eating a few spoonfuls of his peanut butter. There was a final spike of craving after the PB, and then it was gone. It lasted about two hours at full strength. =whew= I was exhausted afterwards, and immediately fell asleep.

Ubee— Way to go that you bounced back right away after your slip! I think it takes enormous courage to do that, to wake up the next day and say to yourself, "Today will be different." I'll chime in with the others and say I often have the problem of letting the unhealthy eating go on for a few days, if not longer! A slip that only lasts one day is an ideal slip, in my opinion: it doesn't matter what you ate on that one day. As for making a collage about being motivated to lose weight, I can say this: nearly all the collages I have made since embarking on this art medium in 2010 have been about my emotions. I can't keep how I'm feeling out of my collages, even if I wanted to. Since all my struggles with compulsive eating involve my emotions...well, you get the picture.

Betsy— Your energy in your yard—wow, what can I say?! I'm just hopin' it will be infectious, and I'll get movin' more this month...I'm right there with you, girl, on having an unhealthy foods Big Three: mine are cookies, candy and donuts, in descending order of importance. My cravings for those three can be mind-bendingly horrendous! I feel so good now that I've chosen abstinence: I know it's only going to last as long as it lasts, be that a month or much longer, but with y'all's support, I know I'll be able to do a re-set, when I do fall off the wagon.

watchout— Even though you're 26 and I'm 58, I know exactly how you feel about deferring things until next year, or even further: it's sad-making! I just got a catalog in the mail the other day that has some gorgeous clothes designed by artists. The size range goes up to 20-22, but they're so expensive, I know I'll have to put off splurging on those until I'm very close to my goal weight. So I had to set the catalog down and heave a sad sigh, saying, "One of these outfits will be a reward at the end of this journey."

betsy2013 11-01-2013 01:32 PM

Gosh, how did it get to be November already? I've still got yard work to do and it's time to start thinking about getting through the holidays!

Ubee -- I'm so glad you had a great day and stuck to your guns. Please bottle up your will power/mojo/magic potion and send some off to me. You have been doing well lately -- yes, a few ups and downs, but those are going to happen. Good to hear such a positive report!

Time4me -- I wish I had the right answer to give you, but just want to send you hugs to let you know that we care about how you're feeling. I don't know why we give some people such power over our lives. Plus, I think it's harder to deal with these kind of feelings when you sincerely feel that the other person's negative impact on you was not intentional. In terms of telling him -- the only suggestion I have is to wait until you can discuss it calmly so that you can explain why what he said hurt so much and how it impacted you. If he's a good person and a good friend, then he will listen and want to avoid doing it again.

I agree, Ubee, where is everyone? Hope that all are doing well and just getting past the dreaded Halloween candy fight. I have a new goal in mind because I realize that I'm not winning the battle of giving up chips, ice cream and chocolate. So, since keeping them out of the house works for a little while until I go on a wild binge and sometimes eat all three in one sitting, I've decided that I need to learn to control them (yes, bet you didn't know that chips, ice cream, and chocolate were animate objects!). So, I'm putting the leftover Halloween candy up in the cupboard instead of in the downstairs freezer and want to leave them there until the candy gets stale. I want to look up there in a few months and wonder what that candy is doing there. I want to win this battle and realize that I can co-exist with these foods and not have them control me. I'm beginning to realize that if I want to continue to lose weight and then be able to maintain it, I'm going to have to do a lot better with my trigger foods.

OK. Toby wants to go out and play and I need to get the upper and lower patios cleaned off for the winter. Not a whole lot to do, but somehow it will end up taking me most of the day.

time4me2change 11-01-2013 01:37 PM

Thanks all...

Betsy- he IS a good friend, and I know for a fact he would never want to hurt me....

I actually think it's bigger than this.... like an existential crisis..... I might never talk to him about it.... because it's so in my head I am not sure I could even put it into words...

but I love the support I get here... even when I ramble like this...

I think I'm just figuring out who I am to myself and others... and it's a weird balance...

I'm going to go do some art now... thanks again

Fiona W 11-01-2013 01:41 PM

time4me— I just saw your posting: Jeez, I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserve a lot of credit for recognizing that you've given way too much power to that person. That insight is key! Is it possible that that person reminds you of someone who had power over you when you were little? I often find that to be the case, when someone else's opinion matters way more than it should. Just recently I had to take a vacation from one of my artistic venues, because someone there had really nailed me with a negative reaction to one of my collages. It took me several days before I tumbled to the fact that the person responsible had said things that were a lot like what my father used to say to me! But once I did get that insight, I felt significantly better.

Fiona W 11-02-2013 04:03 PM

Gee folks, now I'm the one thinking, "Where IS everybody?" I've been feeling pretty stormy ever since Hallowe'en, angry in fact—because of not getting any candy this year. I guess this is a side of me y'all haven't seen yet, the waves of negativity that can wash over me. I didn't get all the way up to 351 pounds by being placid, that's for sure! The flip side of winning the fight to give up cookies, candy & donuts is becoming bitter about being deprived.

All the wisdom I've read about weight loss is that you don't succeed if you feel deprived. So what should I do, y'all? Should I deliberately go off the wagon? That would feel so strange to me, to go out and buy cookies when I'm perfectly capable of staying in control. Is this like an inner anorexic emerging, a cruel taskmaster who deprives myself even when it's making me miserable to do so? That's not a pattern I'm familiar with. I've never before noticed myself doing what anorexics call restricting.

I guess one option would be to buy something that's not on my abstinence list, like pie. I'm really fond of cherry pie, but I've never in my whole life eaten too much of it at one sitting. The most I ever eat is half a pie over a day or two. But still...I don't especially want to get a pie. Again, I'm capable of not doing it.

I feel so bad...arrrrggh! I need some advice here...

P.S. How strange...is it possible that today, of all days, the site is going to let me have my tickers? I can't be sure until this is posted....

Ubee 11-02-2013 04:08 PM

Fiona, good job not having candy on Halloween!!! I like how you call it a reset when we get our act back togather. It sounds so clear cut/no options. Your explaining about how maybe the way someone says something to us can set off a trigger from our past was so insightful/helpful. Thank you!
Betsy, can you please help motivate me to take better care of our home! I think you are very brave to keep some candy at home. As I was typing this I remembered I had a treat for myself down in the basement freezer. I know it is"bad" to have food rewards but I bought it and when I got it home I told myself I would not have it until I dropped 10 pounds. Yes, it more then likely has freezer burn...
Time4me, I am happy for you that you have art for a hobby. I need a hobby. Do you mind if I ask what kind of art you do?
It is a nice Fall day today. We do not have many leaves left but, it is still so pretty. Saturday is usually a big stress day but, (fingers crossed) so far so good.
I know there is no proof but, I am hoping my body has reset to a lower weight for it to top out at. Unless I were to way overdo it. Hope you know what I am trying to say.
How is everyone doing.

ShelBl 11-02-2013 04:09 PM

Hi ladies!

Finally getting to poking around the threads a little more since rejoining, and wanted to poke my head in. I'm bouncing around just under the 300 mark now, working toward the weight I was when I joined the last time. Stupid regaining :(

Ubee 11-02-2013 04:16 PM

Fiona, we cross posted.
So you are bitter about having to give up candy. Maybe you should be bitter that they are so happy to sell us that poison to put in our bodies. Maybe we should be mad that it is so encouraged in society just so the corporations can make more money!
You Have your sticker!!!
STOP! Do not give in!!! This is the best advice I've got. It was from Heather and she gave me some tough love. I am telling you, you are setting yourself up! I am here for you! We will do this!
Do not give in! You deserve good health.
A craving never went away by giving in.
Plan a treat for a special day only, well in advance. Keep it under your control.

Ubee 11-02-2013 04:20 PM

Welcome ShelBl!
Glad to have you join us. Mind if I ask what your plan is? Thanks!

time4me2change 11-02-2013 04:30 PM

Ubee- I use many forms of 'art' for a creative outlet... this time I chose to paint... sometimes I collage, scrapbook, write, sketch or 'act'....though 'acting' tends to put me in darker places, so I'm trying to get away from that (although theatre is my passion, and I am a drama teacher) sometimes I sing too but that ends up being like 'acting'....

I used to always be creating things, but once I began teaching full time I lost a lot of my 'free time' so I am slowly trying to work more creating into my schedule. I've completed a couple of poems recently and hope to write some more.

Pretty pleased with what I painted... first time I've picked up paint in years and just really wanted to express what I was feeling.... (now my Psychology degree kicks in) can't say I like what I see, but I know how I'm feeling and typically once I am able to put my emotions into words or a clear concept I am more able to deal with it.

(I have a long long history of Depression and related mental health issues, and will never truly escape them, I've simply learned to control them instead of letting them control me)

fell off the weight wagon a bit today, just was super snacky...though not much in my house is 'junk' I ate more than I should have... will return to plan tomorrow.... I always have a much easier time controlling my eating during the work week...

ShelBl 11-02-2013 04:40 PM

Ubee - I'm half assing WW. Joined the three months to get the hang of it, then canceled and am tracking through a free app. For me, I do a lot better if I stay away from the "oh I can't have X" mindset. I'm a little OCD, so I wind up not being able to think of anything BUT what I can't have.

Mostly I'm trying to make smarter choices. More whole fruits and veggies, better snack choices, juicing, and most importantly not eating if I'm not hungry. I have horrible food habits that need to be broken.

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