300+ Chat Thread: November, 2013

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  • Good morning all. I need to get my act in gear and get something done, but darned if I have any desire to do that.

    Time4me -- Your friend and fellow teacher sounds like a jewel -- and it's obvious that the two of you have that rare ability to team teach effectively. I'm glad that you are feeling better about the drama class. And congratulations on your ticker moving down. It does feel so good, and it does keep us aware of where we were and need to go.

    Fiona -- your book sounds interesting and provides a lot of food for thought. I've come to realize that I'm definitely an emotional eater, and a lot of that emotional eating is because I am very insecure about admitting that I'm bored or lonely or really angry at someone. I am both a very private person plus I'm realizing that because I was always a high achiever that I've equated missing something in my emotional life as a failure. So, I'm trying to deal more openly with my emotions without becoming one of those people that others run to avoid because every conversation is about them.

    And good for you for coping with the sugar cravings, tying it to your emotions and dealing with it.

    Ubee -- I agree with you that there are many ways to avoid dealing with feelings -- including people who are work aholics. Man, when I look at the list, I've hit several of them.

    You asked if we get snow. Yes, but usually only 1 or 2 snowfalls a year and then they go away usually within a day. The temps tend to stay between 40 and 80 year round, but we do get bad wind storms this time of year. In fact, Toby has been out at least 7 times this morning because he's giving the signal, I hop up, and then he doesn't like the strong wind and wants to come in.......for about 15 minutes. He finally decided that he had to go so badly that he'd put up with the wind. When it does snow here, it looks like a post card. Of course, being retired, I appreciate the scenery more now than when I was working and had to get to work in that mess.

    I'm going to start working on getting things done in preparation for the holidays. The grands and I always make a gingerbread house, and I need to start looking at baking the gingerbread and letting it harden, and getting the candies, etc. It always looks like two little boys made it, but they're so proud of it. And the festival of lights will be starting on Thanksgiving weekend. Love this time of year.......as long as I can avoid the extra candy and cookies and fudge. Time to go -- Toby is trying to eat the area rug in the dining room.
  • Here's another good bit from Brooke Castillo's If I Am So Smart Why Can't I Lose Weight?:
    If you believe that you will always be overweight, it will be very difficult to lose the weight permanently. Beliefs and reality like to be reflective of each other. When reality starts to contradict a belief, a tension is created in our life, and this tension makes us uncomfortable. Many of us have no idea when this is happening; we just think we are stressed. At this point we have two choices to reduce the tension: change the belief system or change the reality. Because most of us don't realize we have the negative belief, we have no choice but to sabotage our reality and gain our weight back in order to be back in line with what we believe.
    The belief that I am doomed to be a fat person has definitely been a problem in my life. My mother was a very slim and petite person—96 pounds when she got married, and with nice curves, too—until her first pregnancy, with me. Then she never got off the baby weight, and kept on gaining the rest of her life. She made sure I knew about this, from a very young age, angrily blaming me for her being fat.

    And she also started preaching at me, from a very young age, that I would end up fat, too, if I didn't watch every bite I ate. I wasn't fat as a kid, not at all, but she was always hounding me, like when I was eating something so innocent as a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. When I hit puberty, and got some curves on my slim body, she really lit into me about my weight, and in fact became physically abusive.

    So I got instilled into me the belief—my mother's curse, I might call it—that I would be fat. During my teens, I proceeded to bring reality into line with that belief, by eating sweets and more sweets, to excess. And all my life since then I have struggled with that belief. But here's the dumb part: even though I knew well what my mother had said & done, I didn't realize that I had the belief I would always be fat. I dieted and lost lots of weight, over & over again, and then was always puzzled when the weight piled back on again.

    But I really think now I am fully conscious of that belief, and ready to give it up for good.

    What about y'all? Do you recognize anything of yourself in what Brooke Castillo says about beliefs and reality, and how they tend to agree with each other, or else you get stressed? What beliefs about your body did you acquire at an early age?
  • Well I made it through today. Thanks to an email from a friend, a hot shower and a nap. Thanks everyone!
    Betsy, I can not imagine anyone running from a conversation with you. I think it took a lot of courage for you to admitt to all those feelings. Thanks, I can really relate to some of them also. Make sure Toby gets out when the first snow comes.
    I think your ginger bread house will be cute when it looks like boys made it. I hate cookie cutter things in life.
    Fiona, you are really going to make us work on this weight loss stuff aren't you? I so agree with our beliefs and reality become one. It is only now as a mature woman that I realize I am not that fat, dumb girl I was raised as. I may not be a rocket scientist, (especially with spelling & grammer) but you know what, I can figure the important things in life out most of the time. As for being fat I have this strange thing happening where it almost feels like my body/mind is not allowing me to be heavy anymore like it keeps adjusting down to a new level of the heaviest it will allow.
    I'm sorry you had a tough childhood.
    I just had to come back and edit that I did not get this from my parents but my siblings. Perhaps they were/are just jealous of how awesome I am!
  • Betsy Making the gingerbread house with your grandchildren sounds like such fun. I am sure it is the stuff of happy memories.

    Fiona At an early age I learned my body was: clumsy, unimportant (I was smart not pretty), and too big. I also learned my primary role in the family was that of helper. These beliefs I am working on distilling, they are not mine really but put upon me. Could talk about this forever. Sounds like you are doing good work.

    Went to see my surgeon today and halfway there found out he cancelled. Still no pathology report. Sigh

    Went to a free diet workshop at the library today. It was interesting. I go for three more weeks.

    I am trying to get back into swimming and planning on going to the pool tomorrow.
  • Good morning!
    Today is a better day. I feel my spunk returning.
    Pluckypear, have you read the book Too Good For Her Own Good? It is about how we are raised to put others first and become what society expects of us.
    I am curious what things are they teaching at the diet workshop?
    Sorry about not being able to get your results. Wainting for them can be so stressful.
    It is cold and windy and my family is in need of warmer clothes. Where did they all go? I will more then likely find them at the thrift store. Keeping the clutter down and staying prepared in a cozy house is challenging.
    How is everyone doing?
  • Good morning all. What was supposed to be a cold and rainy day has shown up as pleasant and sunny. Guess I'd better get the peach tree staked while the gettin's good.

    Fiona -- Oh my, yes, belief and reality are definitely interlinked......in every facet of our lives. Otherwise, how could people be so wrong in their beliefs when they differ from mine? Seriously, I've really almost had the opposite problem of believing that I was still thin (just like in my mind, I'm still in my early 30s). The reality of it was just blotted out, I guess. So, I've finally accepted that I really need to get my eating under control, accept that the reality is that I'm fat and will always be fat if I don't make changes. It's been somewhat eye opening because I've been obese most of my adult life.

    Ubee -- Good to know you've got your spunk back. And it sounds like getting through yesterday was a good accomplishment. You're too kind on your compliment as I remember when I was going through my divorce that I definitely got to the point where people's eyes would just glaze over from listening to me drone on and on about it -- and I had one of the least contentious divorces in the history of divorce. And, yes, you are awesome -- you can tell your siblings that we all said so.

    Pluckypear -- Yes, I'm at a stage of life where making memories is very important to me......guess I want to live on in some form after I'm gone! I'm so sorry about the cancelled appointment and still not having the test results. Hopefully you hear soon -- the waiting is worse than dealing with the results.

    Today I'm going to get the floors vacuumed and try to at least keep the stuff that Toby keeps dragging in to a minimum. I'll get the peach tree staked so it doesn't blow over in one of our wind storms, and then I'm going to start working on getting the new cash register that the Co-op bought up and running and look at how to get it installed. Always something to do to keep me occupied.
  • Hey all

    Still doing alright... been really busy with work though, and it will just get busier.

    Last night I was motoring around a mall to find a bookstore to see if they had copies of the book we need in stock... they did, so today was going through the purchase order dance... and then after school a co-worker took me out shopping for stuff to paint drama 'sets'.... and asked me that all important question "why are you doing it and not the kids?" Truth is time... and the fact that it will actually be faster if I just do it instead of teaching the kids how to do it... at least for this show. For the next one in a few months I will already have the supplies and will have time to teach them some basic painting techniques.

    Also I was marking essays today... with another writing assignment on my desk waiting to be marked... and parent interviews are next week as report cards go home tomorrow...

    Can't wait for poker night tomorrow and a weekend full of painting and marking!

    Wish you all the best
  • HI gals.. I need to get a routine down so I can make time to get on here everyday. I keep letting days go by and I realize, "wait" I need to check in.. I have to say I'm still not on track. A friend of mine wants to do low carb, but the only thing I have found that works for me is cutting my calories. I'm not sure I can cut out my carbs. Seems like I'd feel so hungry all the time. I read through everyone's replies, but don't have time to write to each person. I do hope you guys are doing great. Whoever said it's allot easier to stay on plan than it is to start is so right... I've been having a hard time restarting for months now.

    Have a nice night ladies!!
  • Howdy y'all, I'm not doing all that well. It's not about food: I haven't broken my diet, nor am I especially tempted to do so. It's depression, which I experience as pain, pain all through my body. I just finished withdrawing from Effexor, which is a b*tch to withdraw from, and now I'm having what I suppose is some rebound depression. I just saw my shrink yesterday, and he suggested I go up on one of my other meds. I'm doing so, but it may be a while before it makes a difference. I just don't know.

    So far, I'm being successful in shutting out the thought that cookies would make feel better. Cookies would make feel better—please don't try and tell me otherwise—but that better feeling wouldn't last very long...a few hours at most. I'm very pleased by the fact that cookies, candy, & donuts no longer torture me the way they used to, so I'm not going to fall off the wagon.

    I hope y'all are doin' well... man this hurts....
  • Hi Chicks,
    Fiona, I am so sorry you are going through this. You are such a helpfull person and I wish I could help you. You are so right about those blasted cookies. Please keep posting here if you can.
    Sassy, you do have to do what is best for you. I always thought I could not go without carbs until I read so many books that said carbs were making me hungry. Now I go low on carbs most days and it is true for me. Also when I eat carbs I become CRABBY!
    Time4me, let us know how the poker game goes.
    Betsy, I always went back and forth between I don't think I'm that fat to OMG! how did this happen? I need to keep busy like you do. Less time to eat would help. I have enough to do just lacking the motivation most days.
    My husband went to see a new Dr. the other day and she told him to eat less carbs. I just about fell over when he told me. He said she told me all the stuff you say. I think he may be a little more motivated to get on board and take it seriously, instead of his half hearted attempt.
  • How did it get to be Thursday already? It sounds like this has been a busy and challenging week for everyone.

    Time4me -- WOW -- when do you get a chance to sleep......or more importantly just have some time for yourself. You are definitely busy with all of the school activities right now. Just please make some time for yourself in there. Hope your weekend turns out to be both productive and enjoyable.

    Angelia -- Wish I could send you a get started hug. It is definitely hard to do. You mentioned that you do better with counting calories as opposed to restricting carbs. For what it's worth, I found that once I started counting both that I was able to stay on plan for longer periods of time. Yes, I still have times when I drop off, but they're getting further and further apart, and I do chalk it up to lower my carb intake. The scale also moves downward at a steadier pace -- at least for me. Don't know if that would help, but I use Myfitnesspal, and it gives me the calories and carbs for the day. I try to limit my carbs to no more than 75 grams per day, but 100 is my absolute limit. And many days, it's in the 40-50 g range. It might be worth a try. After a few days of that, it seems like the cravings lessen significantly and that's what always gets me off track.

    Fiona -- so sorry you're dealing with the depression and the withdrawal side effects. Hats off to you for dealing with that AND resisting assuaging it with a cookie. While I've never had depression where I needed medication (and I do know how lucky I am to be able to say that), when I get down I tend to do a lot of emotional eating. So coping with the pain and staying away from cookies is truly amazing.

    The vacuuming didn't get done yesterday, so I'll do it today. I also have to move my schedule up a couple of hours as I've got a Coop board meeting tonight at 6:30 -- UGH. I'm beginning to think about Thanksgiving and what to fix.....although since everyone wants the same old menu, I don't know why I think that I'll fix anything different than what we've had for the last 20 years.

    Time for the gym, haul the yard waste bin down to the end of the alley for pickup, get the housework done, get me done (that would be cleaned up), and see what else I can get finished up before the meeting. I have to start looking at medical plan options that my state is offering as the medical plan offered for retirees through my company is just insulting. I go on Medicare next October, so I just need something to tide me over for the next few months.
  • Hi gals..
    Ubee I'm going to give the low carb a try. I don't think it can hurt anything and I might be surprised by my body's reaction to a low carb lifestyle. I have to tell you though I'm quite surprised by all the carbs Im eating cutting my calories. So I'm excited to try something new. I'm glad your hubby will be on board (hopefully) with the low carb too.. It's so much easier when we have support.

    Betsy I'm hoping that will happen for me that my cravings will be better ya know. Right now I feel like I can't make it without some kind of carbs in my diet. It's so hard.. I'm not going to give up though. Thanks for the advice. You sound like you got a busy day ahead of you. Good for you!

    Fiona sorry your having problems with your depression. I hope you feel better very very soon gal!

    Well this morning I dropped my son off to school took my parents to the laundry mat, then stopped and got a 5$ veggie tray for myself. Cheap and allot of veggies. I ate that and two eggs this morning. I'm planning on snacking on the veggies all day to help with my cravings. I feel tired today, but I still plan on doing my laundry and figuring out something for dinner. I scrapbooked all week long so everything else has been piling up on me..

    Hope you ladies have a great Thursday!!
  • Good morning!
    My everyone is busy. Except the slacker...me. It is my goal in life to have no one come to my funeral and say "Poor ubee she worked so hard her whole life." Nope not me, live simply so others may simply live.
    Fi, sending you warm thoughts.
    Betsy, I think of Toby every time I change the roll of TP. You've got me thinking of how my low carb is not so low. It is better then the 8000 carbs I used to eat a day. Why does evrything have so many carbs???
    Angie, good luck with trying low carb. It really has an effect/affect? on my mood. So much so that I warn my family that I have had too many carbs. In our house that means no arguing no matter how stupid my comments about life may be.
    How is everyone doing?
  • I survived the Board meeting without rolling my eyes once......I may not be the best board member as I was asked to be on the Board to provide input on how to run the Coop like a business and we struggle to do that. One more year. One more year. One more year.

    Sassy -- Do keep us updated on if the lower/low carb approach helps any. I am very carb resistant, so whenever I overdo it, I end up gaining. Probably have metabolic syndrome (is that the correct phrase, Fiona?). There are lots of good low carb breads available (Sara Lee makes one that is 45 calories/slice and can't remember the carbs, but it's much lower than regular multi-grain bread). Good luck with it.

    Ubee -- You're nuts which is why we all love you to pieces. I have a feeling that your concept of being a slacker is a little removed from everyone else's, but we'll be sure to say only great things about you at your funeral -- in the very, very distant future! You 800g of carbs may be about right for how we used to eat........somehow having every adult in my family overweight and multiple case of Type II Diabetes didn't register that perhaps we have a high sensitivity to carbs.

    I'm going into town today to go to Petsmart because Toby is growing like a weed and needs more dog food. And I need to stop at Target and get a bicycle for the local Santa bike drive here in town. And I need to stop at the grocery and get lettuce -- the last big box of it I got must have been old because it had that beginning-to-go-slimy feel to it when I opened it. Threw most of that out. And I want to give Toby some run-around-in-the-yard time -- mainly to wear him out as opposed to any great desire to give the dog exercise. And so goes another day!

    Hope everyone has a great weekend. And I want to see my scale move down a couple of pounds by Monday to get my fingers to stop looking like stuffed sausages.
  • Hey Gals,

    So I went away for the weekend. That was okay I did indulge a little but that is par for the course when "vacationing" . My eating habits are not the best, that said I'm back down to the 322ish range. My scale is finicky and says either 321.8, 322.8 321.6... So I'm 322-ish. Not changing tickers or anything just... taking that number for what it is . Proof that at least I'm not gaining weight right now. I'll take that...

    I'm dog-sitting for a friend tonight. Lets be realistic I honestly probably wouldn't have tackled my housework tonight even if I had the night to myself so this way I help a friend out. Get a temporary pet without the comitment. It all works out in the end!

    Fiona - Always with the deep thinking, I didn't end up doing that excercise on the plane. But always giving us so much to think about!

    Ubee - I'm a slacker too, I hightly doubt you really are a slacker... lol Carbs are sneaky like that, if you want to eat truely "low" carb its a big change from what I think most people eat. People think "Oh... Carrots are a veggie... they must be low carb"... hmmm not so much. I prefer aiming for balanced, As in cutting down on the things like breads, and pastas, aiming for whole grains when I DO indulge. And being moderate about things like fruit consumption and corn. I just feel like that is more sustainable for me than truely low carbing it. Lower but not Low, is more my speed.

    sassy - Sounds like a plan, glad you had fun/accomplished the scrap booking.

    plucky - Hope the workshop is useful

    betsy - hope the gym and everything went well!

    time4me - looking forward to marking? Odd you! But whatever floats your boat.