I am a guy 37, 5'11" and 480 last time I got weighed a few weeks ago, before that about 4 months ago I was around 430, a few months before that I was around 460. I never been under 400 in my life.

I started gaining when I was 6 years old. I eat pretty healthy, Yesterday I had two slices of toast for breakfast for lunch/dinner I had 2 chicken legs baked with some rice and corn. 5 years ago I was walking 6 miles a day 5 days a week for 2 years and eating under 1500 cals a day and still didn't lose weight. I had my thyroid checked and I have a low thyroid but thyroid meds don't help even with my thyroid being normal levels now.

Past 8 years I have spent 8 years in the dating scene trying to find a woman to date and settle down with. Past 8 years I have been rejected around 4000 times and told I am ugly, disgusting, worthless, useless, told I have nothing to offer a woman or give a woman, mocked at laughed at, told I don't deserve love or a relationship, told I needed to end my life for being so fat and lazy.

Past 8 years I have been lead on by 22 women who pretended to love and want me and lead me on for 3 months or more sweet talking me telling me they love me and making plans for us then would fake their death or call me while having sex with someone or would disappear on me to never be heard from again. I made a post on a dating forum and have had 12 replies today and 12 rejections today ontop of it.

I just dunno what to do anymore about anything. I tried for surgery but my insurance is strict and they denied me all 7 times. I don't have diabetes or history with gout or have sleep apnea or even high blood pressure that is uncontrolled by meds or even a fatty liver. all of which my insurance requires

I have to pay for the surgery. I just dunno what to do anymore. I am so alone and so lonely, feeling like I am a complete monster who doesn't deserve to live because of my weight and the way I am treated by people especially women in the dating scene. I went to the ATT store last week and the woman behind the counter wouldn't even look me in the face she kept looking away and was in a hurry to hurry up and get me out of the store. she was so rude I ended up reporting her to the boss told them how she was doing me.

I just can't take anymore being treated as if I am some kind of monster and no matter what I do I can't lose weight. it is just a lose lose and it is driving my depression out the wall. I don't even leave my apartment anymore because of it. I even have two women who are a couple living across from me when I see them outside as I go out, I say hi and they just ignore me. and I never done anything to them, maybe they just hate guys in general idk. I just dunno what to do though.

My psychiatrist refuses to give me depressant meds because they will just cause weight gain and she knows how depressed I am because of my weight. it is just a losing battle. All day today I just slept and when I didn't sleep I was wide awake staring at the ceiling forcing tears back because I can just easily start crying and if I do I won't be able to stop it. And this loneliness not being able to find anyone who would give me a chance get to know me for who I am and see how we click is really killing me.

I look myself in the mirror and all I can think is how ugly and disgusting I am and end up hating myself because of how I am treated by everyone. How could I love myself when no one else wants to? how can I take it easy on myself when no one else does? how can I learn to love myself when I am treated and taught how to hate me.

Welcome to 3FatChicks. I'm sorry you are having this problem of depression because of your weight. The fact that you don't have any debilitating conditions that would make you eligible for weight loss surgery is probably a good thing, although it might not look that way to you now. I suggest your talk with a dietician who can lead you in the right direction with a diet plan you can stick with. Rather than seeking meds to treat depression, maybe you could get into some therapy that would help you understand how you got to be this size and how to change your lifestyle.

If you look around, you will see that there are obese people who are in relationships. Not everyone is skinny. If you can, get involved with some groups that have the same interests as you. That will help you get to know people who have the same interests as you without the pressure of dating or being in a relationship. It just might just develop on it's own.

Best of luck to you.

im sorry to hear you going threw that op !

I'm sorry to hear what an uphill road it has been. The book below has been on my list to read:

Walking with Peety: The Dog Who Saved My Life

Just thought I'd mention it in case it could be helpful. I haven't had a chance to read it but it gets good reviews.

Sorry you are going through this OP. Weight loss is a constant struggle, I too am morbidly obese (topped out at 377lb earlier this year) and have never been offered medication or surgery to help with weight loss but, the difference is I don't want weight loss surgery.

For me shifting my focus from the scale to NSV's has been a game changer. since September I have lost 0 lbs but I'm lifting heavier than I ever have in my entire life, I have a PT, I'm making smart choices MOST of the time. I've been consistently at the GYM since April and that kind of plateau dropping 27lbs and then no drop for 4 months would have made me give up in the past. I'm not losing lbs, but I'm increasing the weights I lift regularily and I am being consistent.

Yes we need to/want to lose weight for health and appearance reasons but the sense of accomplishment you have from other goals really helps to get you through the dark days. In January I was so out of shape I was struggling to walk across town (it's a small town, it should take around 25 minutes to "cross town" ) Now I can do it no problems with a backpack full of heavy things.

Focusing on the functional fitness that I have gained helps me keep perspective. I might be fat but I am getting fitter bit by bit. And SLOWLY losing fat as well.

im sorry to hear you going threw that op !